Hello.
So, I'm a virgin. I've been very sick all of my adult life and have been unable to take care of myself, let alone manage a relationship.
But I've gotten a lot healthier and am going to be asking a lady out to coffee next week
So, I'd like to know what foreplay is, and how to do it. I keep on hearing that it's important to women.before the actual sex.
I want intimacy, in addition to sex, with my partner.
You are not ready to date if you think a coffee date involves sex.
Whoa, Markus. You’re going on a coffee date. The point of a coffee date is usually to see whether you even like each other. Head into it with the goal of making a friend. Women have keen radar for guys who just want to get laid. Might take several dates or months before you are both ready to have sex. Enjoy that time. Kiss, hug, hold hands, tease—it helps you get to know each other, and you’ll
learn the kind of touch and approach she responds to.
Always ask before you touch. Make sure that she’s enthusiastic about everything the two of you are doing At. All. Times.
Take the term “foreplay” out of your vocabulary. It implies that everything prior to penis-in-vagina (PVI) sex is somehow “less-than” intercourse, when indeed, everything partners to do arouse each other is equally important sex play.
Express desire for and curiosity about her pleasure, and invite her to show or tell you how to please her by your hand or mouth. Most women reach orgasm through direct and prolonged clitoral stimulation, not PVI. Once you master pleasing her, let her please you — maybe with her hands or mouth prior to PVI.
Do not watch porn to learn what women want—the techniques are for the cameras and entertainment. Get yourself a good book instead: Girl Sex 101 (it’s not just for lesbians); Guide to Getting it On; and She Comes First are all good.
Relax, be open to learning, be willing to laugh, and expect the first time to be the foundation from which you improve. If you worry about cumming within 30 seconds of getting near her, masturbate an hour or two before the first time you get naked with her. It’ll take some of the pressure off.
But first...enjoy that coffee date for what it is—a chance to get to know someone special.
As a somewhat recently deflowered virgin myself the best advice I can give is threefold: be open, be honest, and be respectful.
Be Open to what she is saying and doing. Watch and listen without bias towards what you want to be there. Be Open to the possibility that this might not be anything more then a one and done coffee date. Be open to asking questions you may not like the answers to and questions you maybe embarrassed to ask. Be Open not only to the possibility of rejection, but to see it for what it really is, a time saver.
Be Honest to both her and most importantly yourself. Asking questions here is a good start, it shows you know you have a lot to learn and that your open to making that happen. Be Honest with yourself about your expectations. What do you want out of this date? Is it something that your likely to get? Why do you think she can provide it? Why do you think she would want to provide it? Be Honest with her if the topics naturally turn to past partners and relationships. You may not want to lead with it, that's your prerogative, but don't flinch when it comes up. It's your past, own it. If it bothers her then your better off looking elsewhere anyway.
Be Respectful of her as a human being. Be Respectful of her boundaries and limits. Be Respectful of her right to say "No". Be Respectful of her needs and concerns, do not downplay them just because you don't understand them. She has just as much a right to her concerns as you do yours. Be Respectful of her consent and her right to revoke it any time. Respect her enough to earn her respect back. However, if you feel like she is not being Open, Honest, and Respectful to you Then respect yourself enough to walk away.
Trust me, if you do all that, you won't have to ask strangers on the internet about foreplay. Eventually you'll find a woman that will be thrilled to teach you herself.
Congratulations on your deflowering
@psycheworks thanks, though I feel she did most of the work. ?
Alls I did was by the plane ticket. ?
Don't be in a hurry for penetration. Perhaps start with a nice shower. Caress all of her erogenous zones; breasts, nipples, rib cage, neck, behind the knee, back and spine, et al. Make sure she already has had a couple of orgasms before you start working towards yours. Take your time. It's a long, endurance thing and not a sprint. Listen to her responses as you pleasure her so you can get to know what turns her on. There should be no place that you are not willing to kiss or lick.
@Ren88 Back of the knee is Ahhhh-maxing!
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