This is not advice. But, I've found that friendship isn't anything that one can find. It just happens. Years ago my best friend died. So I had to find a new friend. At my job there was a guy who, on his break would read the New York Time and the Village Voice. I was interest because he read the Times. So, I proceed to make friend with him. He was a vegan so, I took him to a vegan restaurant in the Village. Eventually I started thinking he though I was gay. Long story short, we quasi friends. Then there is another guy who I've known for quite some time and we have some things in common and we hang out regularly. Point is i had to get out and mingle and find who I have something in common with and let it happen.

Finding new friends to hang out with?

As I have a very low tolerance for BS (religion) and most folk in this part of the world pays homage to their god, I don't bother.

In this town I can count a total of 1 friend. If you expand the range to the entire US where I am able to talk to them via phone this number increases to 3. I often interact with people at the YMCA but usually to discuss movies or technology or, if they are unlucky enough to bring up the topic, religion - - lots of stories - -

It feels I don't have time for friends as work, hobbies, working out at the YMCA, and maintaining the house takes most all my time.

Wish you luck.

Follow your interests and passions. If you are short on those then go find something to get interested in. There is a whole wide world out there. After finding things that interest you, then find groups with the same interest.

After my wife died, I had to learn to get out of my protective shell and take an interest in other people's lives. I was interested in dancing, music, critical thinking, etc so I went to meetups and met people.

I would say look into books to help improve your social skills first. I don't knoe you well so I can't speak for you but I've also been a loner. I had to look into methods to improve social skills because mine were allways terrible. Not that I wasn't confident I just don't ever know what to talk about. That could be a step in the right direction.

We must go out and find places where smart, eccentric people hang out. We must be pro-active and find the folks who we have things in common with.

These days between work and home ownership the only social lifei have is meetups. Do you have a hobby? do you like to hike? do you like the outdoors? do you like eating at restaurants? There's probably a meet-up in your area of like-minded people.

I’m very similar in that at work I am a charge nurse that requires me to be assertive and vocal. I’m also president of a non profit that requires the same.
This is completely contrary to my personality.. I’m a soft spoken, wall flower with a small network of friends that I’ve met through my volunteer work.

I can so totally relate to what you are saying.....everything sounds like "fun" until its time to actually go and then I can think of twelve reasons to just stay home instead. And - its hard to just say "you're pretty cool - I'd like to just hang out and be friends" - there seems to always be that pressure that it has to develop into something more. Hang in there.....(I know, I know - I'm no help whatsoever... these are just my "random thoughts" - everyone else has given you actual good advice!)

There was a period of my life in which I wasn't motivated. I basically went to work and came home. I played games online and kept up with social media. I had an entertaining life. It was pretty good but I just didn't care to go anywhere. When I felt lonely and started to think "my friends have abandoned me" I realized that the opposite was true, I was becoming a hermit. There are ways to fix that:

There is an app called Meetup'. Join groups which interest you, get out of the house, meet people, and make some new friends.

Take up a hobby. While shopping for supplies (and in a store not online) because you're not in your house you will meet people, make new friends.

Use social media to find local folks and ask if they want to grab coffee. The key is to get out of the house, meet people, and make new friends

I'm with you too. Too introverted for my own good. It's difficult meeting people. But I keep trying. Was a caregiver and fairly isolated for a long time. I need to get out in the world a bit more, but feel like I need a guide.

It's best to be content, not needy, Zen, to be aware, living in the moment, Zen, and to be empathetic, kind, Zen. Empathy eliminates introversion; you naturally interact with people to discover them, and they sense your contentment, kindness and empathy and enjoy being with you. I know these things, but my emotions interfere and leave me wanting. I practice, but fail, and practice again.

This is difficult for me too. As an introvert I find it hard to make new friends. I am probably too particular when it comes to the kind of people I will be friends with.

If you lived near me I would hang out with you.