I am a hopeless romantic...I never saw hookups or casual relationships (as in FWB - 'Friends With Benefits', the successor to ;Playing The Field' once said long ago) as genuine, meaningful...and evidently not exclusive. Though if I had little choice at the present time in having any sort of friendly association with a decent woman, I might find myself temporarily drawn to that arrangement. But honestly, I guess I am somewhat old-fashioned in one way - something I've been taught growing up...to be monogamous and loyal to one girl at a time, dating exclusively. Of course, I have become very liberal...no longer believing that you can't kiss or go beyond that on a first date - BUT only if friendship is developing along with romance at the same time...and feelings must be mutual, nothing forced. Besides, my philosophy on relationships is that every chance meeting with someone initiates potential for a lasting relationship...if that is the far-reaching goal of both persons. And on a site like this which reaches singles nationwide and even internationally, there is a chance that special person you seek may just happen to be beyond your local region...even perhaps far across The US or in Canada...one never knows for sure. Any thoughts from any of you?
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My feeling is it takes time to get to know someone. Still, there needs to be a reason to want to continue, something that compels me to want to know more. I've met a lot of nice guys where it really didn't go anywhere, and I've held out hope longer than I should that maybe the next time I see them something will change. And I mean that from both sides -- me being the one who's interested in them or them being the one who's interested in me. It has to be mutual, and it really does have to happen organically... I'm talking about a relationship for the most part, which is ultimately what I would like. FWB isn't really my thing, though if the right circumstances came along I wouldn't rule it out entirely. Again, it does have to be a mutual thing that both people are comfortable with, and there still needs to be some sort of connection established with each other as a person. And my take on that is also, it doesn't stay that way, either it dissolves or moves into a serious relationship. But no guarantees for either.
bleurowz
Level 8
Jan 8, 2019
1
I have had a number of men throughout my life who were fantastic friends (no benefits lol) ..... When it comes to the one that I want to spend my life with, though - it all boils down to chemistry. It's either there - or it isn't. Sharing a life with another person can be a wonderfully exhilarating experience and, alternately, a frustrating, sometimes nervewracking experience. But I suspect that you can't truly appreciate the "highs" unless you've also experienced the "lows". ???? I agree with you about the chance meeting possibly leading to a potential relationship - and, hopefully, this site will provide that for some that are on here. Nothing will happen if you don't try.... 
Lavergne
Level 8
Jan 7, 2019
2
Regarding 'chemistry'...someone advised long ago that chemistry does not necessarily have to be instant - it can develop and get stronger over time. I have since taken that to heart, though the majority of women I've unsuccessfully met won't see it that way.
@Lavergne i do agree (can't believe I'm saying that - LOL)...while we all have lusts and sexual urges, to want to attempt developing a genuine and lasting relationship should ideally see physical romance as gradual. I've said before...if consensual, it's okay to have a romantic first date, as long as focus is equally on developing a friendship...getting to know each other's hearts.
I agree that FWB is not going to work for me. Recently, I have realized that long distance isn't going to work for me either. I can't relocate (having to look after an aging mother) as the first of my ties. It is just too expensive to fly around maintaining a relationship. Even if the man relocated to my area, these things have a way of not working out - and there he would be.
I think people should also decide to be monogamous after 3 or x numbers of date. If you don't have any real feelings beyond it being just physical after a certain amount of time - that is a problem too.
UrsiMajor
Level 8
Jan 7, 2019
2
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