What if you're really smitten with someone, and they've voiced that they don't want that right now in thier life right now. How do you proceed?
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I think the operative words are "clearly smitten"...... it sounds like there is a desire to get to know each other better and see if smitten grows into something else. I know we now live in a society that feels like you have to move on if things don't click immediately - but I think you can shortchange yourself by thinking that way. What have you got to lose? A little time? Nothing ventured.....nothing gained. IMHO
Lavergne
Level 8
Feb 6, 2019
1
Thank you! I've received so many replies that basically say, cut away and run. Doesn't anyone believe that you have to work for something worthwhile?
@Unclehotrod I have known a number of couples who basically said "I wasn't the slightest bit attracted initially, etc etc". Sometimes a person's inner self becomes the thing that you fall in love with and if you've dismissed it out of hand because there was no electric spark in the beginning .....well, I just wonder if that's why so many people are still on the dating sites. ?????
You don't. Accept it and move on, at least as far as seeing her as maybe the one.
Mitch07102
Level 8
Feb 6, 2019
0
Respect boundaries. If you think you can keep your emotions out of it, then try to remain friends. However the last thing you want to do is be "friends" and wait patiently when from the other view point you appear to be "expecting" the change to happen. That will sour their opinion of you very quickly if they feel any amount of pressure. The other pitfall is they might feel guilt that you might pas up an opportunity while "waiting" for them.
Your best bet is to tell them that your there if they need you and to call if they change their mind. Then you have to walk away.
Nukdookum
Level 8
Feb 6, 2019
1
In the words of John Mayer, roll it on home.
ghettophilosopher
Level 7
Feb 6, 2019
1
“I understand. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you a bit. Call me if you change your mind.”
Then go away.
brainyactress
Level 7
Feb 6, 2019
3
it is heartbreaking but you cannot force someone to love you, keep them in your heart but for your own well being and theirs, move on and find another who will love you back.
Mermaidfantasy
Level 7
Feb 5, 2019
8
It is a waste of time proceeding. A real relationship is about 2 people with the same attraction. One person does not a relationship make.
JackPedigo
Level 9
Feb 5, 2019
5
You do as they want, they don't want that, you don't get that. I'd say a road block has been thrown up, looks like it is not the right time for you. Back off Jack.
HippieChick58
Level 9
Feb 5, 2019
5
Give them space and respect their views.
Coppersmith1965
Level 6
Feb 5, 2019
8
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