I'm sorry, but I really am curious and need to ask exactly how, "you've found that men play more games than women"? I'm not trying to be confrontational here, but it seems to me, that unless you have experience as a man with women, then you can only offer that statement as an opinion from one side of the issue. The games may be different in nature, but I think it's fair to say that both men and women play "games" with one another. I'm not sure either can honestly claim to be less guilty than the other.

Yes, simple statement, I'll repeat. I have found that men play more games than women. It's usually attention or validation they want. There is no need to get confrontational at all, and I don't believe you are. I'm not saying that women don't play games, I'm saying, I have found that men play more.

@CaroleKay, sorry, but repeating your origional statement doesn't explain how you come to that conclusion, nor does it magically make it so. As a woman, you would not have any personal experience of games that women play with men, just as i, as a man, have no personal experience with games men play with women, which leaves us both with only half the story and no more than personal opinions on this.

Well said my friend !

You need to edit that last word, lol! But Yes, I know what you mean.

In that case if they integrity they will make that clear from the start. There is nothing wrong in just wanting a sexual relationship as long as both are on the same page about expectations.

@Mermaidfantasy I'm sure you've met people who at times did not possess the clarity needed to demonstrate such integrity. That does not mean they should be judged as permanently incapable of integrity. I have certainly met women who were too blurry to draw the distinction due to circumstances. If people were always capable of such self awareness then there would be no need for relationship counseling.

@kensmile4u Yes I have.

"In that case if they integrity they will make that clear from the start. "..
Exactly.. if they are not doing so then they are potentially and willfully causing harm.. i realize it can be a big grey area on some things , but it seems a lot of people would rather cause harm then be honest.

No , women do not have a bigger dating pool than men . Under normal circumstances , at birth approximately 51 % of newborns are female . More males the females , die by age five , because boys get themselves in more accidents . More males die in automobile accidents than females in the 16 to 25 age range . More males die in wars . More males are incarcerated . So no , the females do not have a wider dating pool .

@Cast1es compare any woman's profile on a dating site versus a man’s and you will see what I’m talking about . Go to any club or bar ,more women get hit on then men. A girl friend of mine showed me hits on her profile one time and it was impressive . Your stats are nice but I guarantee you women have a larger selection hitting on them than men. I said nothing about there were more women than men , I merely Said their dating pool is bigger , and it is .

good grief.....Fear of Flying. So very long ago...

@Lavergne I'll never forget reading that. Actually, it opened my mind a bit more to totally unplanned, casual sex. And it hasn't happened nearly often enough to suit me...

Thank you for your honest answer.

I want companionship too. Sex is secondary for me.

@Beatnik I suppose I should say the majority. Sometimes it's like asking someone how are you? No matter how miserable that person is the answer is always I'm okay. Questions like this are the same way. we know the answer that women are looking for, and that's the one we reply with.however, if that's what the majority of us were shown she wouldn't be asking the question in the first place.

@Kojaksmom I mean, I honestly don't know. The older I get, the more I realize the whole man/woman stuff is b.s.. I'm not pitting one sex against the other. We're people. Men have feelings. Women have feelings. Men are assholes. But hey, so are women! But I meet a lot of men who I feel don't think we're really people, that we don't have feelings and in fact it hurts our feelings (some of us) when a man pays attention to us only to get us in the sack. No, nothing happened...I'm just thinking out loud and asking for people to be real.

@Beatnik the weeding...I'm exhausted...lol

@Freespirit64 I'm past exhausted and have given up!

@Freespirit64, @Beatnik
The learning how to filter is probably the most important thing you can learn.

No insult intended! Just a question. Men ask me out and seemed surprised when I ask them why. But it's a valid question you know? Think about it. And for the record, though it's a complicated issue, there are lots and lots and lots! Of women who use their pussy for currency, as a bartering tool. Not bashing sexes. We can all be assholes...

@Freespirit64 I'm not personally insulted because it doesn't apply to me and as a corollary, I'm not interested in "most women" for whatever reason and I not a fan of players/ users in general. Men who view women only as sex objects are ethically challenged( to be kind) and not my friends.

True. I hate anything statement that generalizes any group of people...gender, race, age... etc.

We are all sexual beings, with some outliers that don't want or enjoy sex. I for one want companionship and sex with great chemistry. So Robecology-yes many (most?) women want dick. The last man I was intimate with... I brought up sex first. Of course, he didn't mind ..lol.

I don't have a problem with a man wanting sex at some point. I just don't want that to be ALL he wants. I believe there are many men that would like both.

Then there are men and women that just want sex...maybe more men than women...who knows.

Well they do. Prove me wrong.

Stereotypes exist for a reason. Men are stereotyped as wanting sex, women are stereotypically more interested in love... That's just the way it is... To flip the question to women is being dishonest....

@Cutiebeauty a worthy post on its own...post and I'll comment!

@Freespirit64 I don't know if this will prove you wrong but here goes. I recently met a wonderful, intelligent, thoughtful, sensual, and beautiful woman. I drove more than 6 hours to visit her and we met at a local restaurant for brunch, I drove through the night and napped for a few hours in my car. We had a wonderful conversation, stimulating chemistry, both enjoy touching and being touched, and at the end of the day she asked me to stay at her house rather than get a hotel. I dislike sleeping in clothes and she normally sleeps naked too so knowing I have agency and can keep myself in check when it comes to boundaries, we slept in the same bad, nude, snuggling for companionship and it never became sexual. I stayed most of the next day. We talked more, cuddled and caressed each other because it felt good and we both knew it wasn't going to end in sex. At one point she kissed me and it was great. We kissed more and snuggled but it never went past that, we never went to "third base" because the goal was companionship not sex. I do plan on seeing her again and yes I think sex with her would be fantastic based on how comfortable we were with each other. However, if I never have sex with this woman I will still want to see her, I will still want to have her as a very close friend, and I will still want to hold her on the couch, kiss her, and watch the sunset.

@Nukdookum I mean that's a great story and all but how common is something like that?
Damn, I guess I'm repressed because I would not have invited you over to snuggle naked with no intention of having sex. And after a first date? I don't know man...may have to keep her...

@Freespirit64 We had been talking about boundaries and respecting them all day. I made the trip because we had been chatting for a month or so online and she was feeling lonely. When I got there I wanted to comfort her which requires touch but I wanted to make sure she was comfortable with that. I knew I wasn't going to have to sex with her no matter how attracted I was and I didn't want there to be any miscommunication. We discussed what was "safe" non sexual touching and I never overstepped that line. When she asked me to stay with her in her bed that night I initially put on pajamas and she wore a nightshirt. I felt uncomfortable clothed and asked if it would be OK if I removed mine again letting her know that I wasn't going to cross any of the boundaries that we had created. Later, she removed her clothing too because it was much more intimate and comforting to touch skin on skin. We both already knew that no boundaries would be crossed and none were. It was really a beautiful weekend that we shared. I do plan to keep her in my life as a friend, and who knows maybe we will have sex on an ongoing basis in the future.

That said, I have many friends here in Atlanta that I have similar 'non-sexual but we can snuggle naked for companionship' relationships...both male and female. Needing human touch and wanting to be touched skin to skin by another human being is a powerful drive. I think it leads to many bad decisions because folks tend to equate this with sex and long term partnership type relationships. In my world this is a common occurrence, to have naked events based on body positivity, to be able to separate nudity from sex, to desire a certain level of intimacy with someone and not feel the need to orgasm with them. It is at best uncommon if you consider society as a whole. I like to think we are an enlightened bunch but we still have our fair share of sexual hangups and relationship problems.

@Nukdookum You bring up some really excellent points. Intimacy vs sex. At least in my experience, most people don't know how to be intimate. Certainly most of the men I've come across. And I may have some hangups I wasn't conscious of, reading your comments. Hmmm....you've given me something to think about.

@Freespirit64 This makes me smile. I would like your comment but I am using words today until they fix it.

@Nukdookum And I thought there was something wrong with my phone! Whew!

@Nukdookum That is just about the most beautiful thing I've ever read. You are, indeed, one of a kind.