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What is your experience with online dating?

Vayton 4 June 10
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12

At 75 years old and widowed, I must say it was the shits. Most of the men were looking for immediate sex and many of them were scammers (I think they search for mature widows), on 4 different websites, including 2 sites I had to pay for and this one. Of course this one pops up when searching for online dating, but it is Much more than that and has better conversations.

9

Im writing a book about my fiascoes

I've often joked about writing a book. So many funny, surreal or even scary experiences with online dating.

@Dew25 we should collaborate!

@Corvislover that's actually a really good idea....stories and perspective from both sides.

@Dew25 im only 109 dates in so far. How about you?

@Corvislover ha! You got me beat. I was around 60.....I've pretty much given up on it now.

8

There’s a group called Online Dating: The Reality, where people share their experiences. Consider joining. I started dating online in 2010, when I separated from my (now) ex. I had two longish-term relationships (2-3 years) and have made several friends. Beware there are a lot of fake profiles on dating sites, so don’t give any personal info until you meet. Even then be cautious: get their full name and look into their backgrounds and social media posts on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter. As well, expect to be “ghosted.” That’s where you exchange messages online and seem to have a connection established only to never hear from the person again. No telling exactly why they disappear. But never take anything personally. People can put all sorts of things in their profiles that may or may not be true. Use your judgement and intuition, and come at it as a fun activity that may lead to something positive.

Bobbyzen Level 8 June 10, 2019

@sweetcharlotte I’m sorry you were hurt and then shamed. Nobody deserves that. I was responding to a question about online dating posed by someone who may have no experience with it, and I was cautioning that ghosting happens. That’s not an endorsement, nor do I participate in that behavior.

@sweetcharlotte As I wrote, there is no telling why someone would do that. People can put all sorts of things in their profile that may or may not be true. Before I become vested in anyone online I vet them. Get their full name and research them on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc. If they won’t give you their real full name then block them. Did you research this man’s background?

@sweetcharlotte Again I am so sorry this happened to you. You don’t deserve it. Nobody does.

@sweetcharlotte The dating game is not always fun. It can be really stressful especially for those that have been with one person their whole life and never played. I have had several relationships and so to say, been around the block. Even so, it is still often discouraging.

@sweetcharlotte I have a very close female friend who was having an affair with a married man. I cautioned her not to fall for him. He’ll do the same thing to you as he’s doing to his wife, I told her. She got mad at me and wouldn’t talk to me anymore. The guy divorced his wife, married my friend, then 2 years later cheated on her with a new girlfriend. There are two morals: One is people in live find it hard even impossible to hear advice about their love. That’s just real. Don’t beat yourself up for not listening. The second is that people din’t Change. If they treat the people in their lives badly today, that applies to all people, today and tomorrow. Be kind to yourself. Don’t let naysayers bring you down. Learn and grow. Love yourself.

7

I’ve had some fairly good experiences online dating. You have to wade through a lot of junk first though.

Haemish1 Level 8 June 10, 2019
6

I never tried online dating. Sometimes I feel like trying it but I don't need am\ny more problems. That is a negative outlook as I have not tried it so I cannot assume that all experiences will be bad. I am a very friendly person and love to meet new people and make new friends. I am ambivalent at this moment but it is time to give it a try someday soon

BTW - I live in Toronto. It is a nice town. I come from New York City and still have NY manners and attitude. Been in Toronto since 2005.

5

Men just want sex

Marcie1974 Level 8 June 10, 2019

Yes. So do I.

@zesty Don’t get me wrong. I’m very sexual and it’s an important part of a relationship for me.

However I do have a brain with thoughts and opinions on other subjects as well

@Marcie1974 Just wanted to point out that there are a lot of women, exacly like me, who are looking for pure sex, nothing else. We are free of church and traditional society dictated norms. When I date I flash my tits and pussy. When do research or teach - my advanced degrees in science.

@zesty I get that. But for me that isn’t dating. I’m all for getting my needs met occasionally, but I don’t consider that dating.

That just my definition though, everyone looks at it differently. My thing is just be honest...don’t say you’re looking for long term if you really aren’t

@LetzGetReal yeah, I was just putting my experience.

@Marcie1974 Sure. I always state before that I don't want a one-night stand. Just a couple of hours. OK, maybe three. Lol. Interestingly, sometimes from these "encounters" a good friendship arises. Funny, isn't it?

I get the frustration regarding carnal advances. This stereotype being pervasive is a real hang up for me. Mainly because I cannot relate. It just makes approaching, in any context, a courtship interest all the more difficult. The first thing I feel I need to do is explain that the common stereotype doesn't apply, which is exactly what someone would say if they were the stereotype and trying to fool others...fuck me this is getting circular and depressing...

@Phayon my best advice, and what catches my eye, is if a guy doesn’t bring up sex at all. No innuendos, no talk of body preferences, nothing. For me, don’t even bring up that you aren’t only looking for sex. Any normal woman who is actually looking to date with be absolutely appreciative of that.

It’s so damn refreshing and impressive to me. Through virtually no effort on your part! Lol.

@Phayon I do get how frustrating that would be on your end though. But from my viewpoint, it’s absolutely shocking and amazing if a guy doesn’t bring up sex in the first few hours (much less days) of chatting.

5

Some good came of it...I met three "lovers" - one whom I married - then divorced....but overall; it was a useful tool. I'm talking about almost pre-internet days (late 80's) until less than 10 years ago...and quite a lot has changed since then.

The best; most recommended? POF, OKCupid - only because they were free. Eharmony and Match proved (to me) to be waste of time...and money.

Right now? I've met no-one through Agnostic but I can see how it could be a useful - and free - dating site. Right now the population (of this site) seems too low to find a like-minded person within a reasonable distance....but that could change.

Robecology Level 9 June 10, 2019
5

I live in the wrong part of America to find someone 🙂

Lorajay Level 9 June 10, 2019

Oh no... have you thought of moving? I know that's easier said than done sometimes.

For a moment I thought you might be from Montana🙂

Where you live, not many people .... if you can relocate or maybe retire, your chances will improve.

4

At the moment I feel like I'm constantly in break up mode. If I was in my 20's doing this I'm sure it would be heart wrenching and ego destroying. Now?.. not so much. At times disappointing and somewhat frustrating it's been a real eye opening look into the world my children are trying to form relationships in.

Davekp Level 8 June 11, 2019
4

Met my second wife online. This time around seems much hard then was 15 years ago

4

Hit and miss first time was a winner but things were different 18years ago

bobwjr Level 10 June 10, 2019
4

I have run into so many scammers, I have lost count - might be 8 or 9. They are friendly and chat for a few weeks, then make up a sob story and beg "to borrow money" ... not good. I also have run into lots who seek women who are slender and attractive. The dating sites that cost money - all they do is take your money. Not worth it.

SKH78 Level 8 June 10, 2019

dating sights are bad investments. i've never found anyone remotely interesting there.

There are also men such as I that prefer woman with meat on her bones. Don't give up

@Unity Come to my city - you will have meaty women beating down your door demanding dates with you.

@SKH78 That sounds like a place I would love!

@Unity You would have to call the police to remove all the women breaking down your door, demanding to have a chance with you.

@SKH78 Perhaps I should head there now. 😀😀

4

My experience has been bad. I knew a small number of people who found friends this way, but all of my experiences have been bad.

SKH78 Level 8 June 10, 2019

Sorry to hear that

Here's a virtual hug. Don't give up

4

I don't believe it exists. Dating is a real together thing...

Well... what I mean is using an online dating apps as a tool for the real thing... lol.

@Doraz ...I'm up on this one...

2

I could write a book too! OMG (so to speak). I used the online dating site when I was 52 and recently divorced. I dated 20 people who either treated me like a prostitute or were just plain wierd. I had just about given up and was about to just settle for being a cat lady when I went on my last date...who I married. Takeaway is that you have to kiss a lot of frogs first.

2

Mostly "meh", some good friend connections and one romantic one that didn't work out.

Cabsmom Level 8 June 10, 2019
2

It's a crapshoot. I did meet one nice person online; unfortunately it didn't last long, but I was grateful to have met him and for the time we did spend together. I'd consider trying again, but not right now.

bleurowz Level 8 June 10, 2019
1

I give online dating a 4 out of 10. The cons outweigh the pros by a lot. Less than 10% of the women I've contacted first have responded. And of those, maybe half of those have eventually turned into a date. Very few women contact me, but when a woman has, they almost always have turned into one date or more. Some women I've chatted a bunch with won't commit to a date. They just seem tp want to be yext buddies. Many online dating sites have a lot pf scams.

Azraeloki Level 5 June 26, 2019
1

Not good but then I was never sucker enough to give them my credit card number.

Wrytyr Level 7 June 20, 2019
1

It sucks!!

Kittencpa Level 5 June 11, 2019
1

Yoga class beats online dating 2 to 1...so far.

mischl Level 8 June 11, 2019
1

It looked really bleak for a while but I just found someone new who I really like so I'm rather high on the idea at the moment.

ejbman Level 7 June 11, 2019
1

Its better than the alternatives (imo)

hippydog Level 8 June 11, 2019
1

Waste of time

CalvinJoe Level 7 June 10, 2019
1

i thought dating was face-to-face

TheDoubter Level 9 June 10, 2019

Lol... well, I meant using online dating apps as a tool for the real date.

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