I am reading book that presents some of the best thinking I have seen on the subject of love and intimacy. It is The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. Chapter 6 is especially illuminating. He makes the point that romantic love has two aspects, passion and compassion. The research and ideas that he discusses are fascinating and even after years of training in psychology, I found what he shares very helpful.
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Oh I love that book, started to talk about it at work and ended with one of my friends painting of me sitting on an elephant 
. Did you also appreciate the way he puts things in very nice disillusioned way? Like tit for tat?
Jindriska
Level 3
Nov 18, 2019
1
I admire some much about the way he presented his ideas. I smiled that you have a painting of you on a elephant. That darned elephant always doing what it wants. Yes his use of tit for tat made the whole idea of reciprocity very clear.
Can you Please tell us more?
RoyMillar
Level 9
Nov 16, 2019
1
Hi Roy, I added a bit more in response to a comment.
Thank you
Having never even heard of the book nor it's author , I wish you'd been a bit more explicid about what his concept was .
Cast1es
Level 9
Nov 16, 2019
2
If you look on Amazon, there is a bit there as well as reviews of the book. I could not begin to do justice to his insights or the research he references in a comment. I will attempt to say more about what I read in chapter 6 about compassion and passion. He presents a couple very interesting graphs which show how passion and compassion change over time. Passion quickly becomes very strong in the beginning of a relationship and declines quite quickly as well. Whereas compassion increases across time and becomes much stronger than passion in the course of a successful relationship.
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