Felt like sharing this, and this seemed like the most appropriate group for it. Back in December my fiance left me, literally the day after Christmas. The holidays are always a sort of depressing time for me, I'm not religious, but i was raised in a religious household so Christmas still feels like it should hold some significance for me. So i get a little down around the holidays, but 2019 was worse, then my fiance just bailing out made everything worse. I was pretty torn up about it for 2 or 3 weeks but i decided to pick myself up, dust myself off and try to maintain a positive attitude. Maybe this is for the best, i guess we werent meant to be and its better to find this out now vs. after we got married. That mentality helped out for a while, i got my confidence back, got myself out there, started flirting again. Fast forward two more months and now we got this Covid-19 pandemic, i get laid off from my job, literally everyone i know is self quarantined. I havent interacted with another human being outside of saying thank you to the delivery guy. Now im back to missing my ex again. But its not so much missing her, i miss having another human being with me, i miss having someone i can always talk to, cuddle with, just exist together. I miss intimacy. I'm going crazy over here from the lonliness. This whole experience has made me realize how deep and important social bonding is for our species, i almost wish it wasn't that important. Has this virus resulted in the complete isolation i am experiencing for anyone else? How are you dealing with it?
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I think we as humans are now finally starting to relieze how much skin contact is so very important to us in our everyday lives ,with out it we shrivil up,even all the bird ,animal and aquatic life it is just as important and higher one is on the evolution level it even gets more important . I beleive ,when we hug,touch etc out bodies exchange electrical discharges to each other that we are not aware of communicating back and forth ,the longer the hug lets say of holding hands the more the bodies flow together bonding ,making one feel they are wanted and carred about
RoyMillar
Level 9
Mar 30, 2020
0
Thanks for reaching out and sharing this here. It's hard enough to be alone during this shutdown, I can imagine even more so when you're still mourning the loss of a relationship. More bluntly, it sucks. If this was a normal time I would say go out and meet people, but we can't do that. Are there friends and family you can contact, perhaps connect with through Skype or Facetime or Zoom? If you're feeling despondent I'd also suggest contacting a mental health hotline -- absolutely no shame in that, especially now, as so many people are struggling emotionally right now, and sadly it's not being addressed enough, but I really do believe this is a time when people especially need more support... I would say reach out to whoever you can even if you can't be with them in person, do whatever you can to take care of yourself, and remind yourself that this surreal time will eventually pass.
bleurowz
Level 8
Mar 30, 2020
1
I got excommunicated on December 6th. I'm right there with you, my friend.
It takes serious mental energy for me to AVOID thinking of her. Still. Everything that reminds me of her - I put it in a box or discarded it. After almost 4 months it's getting better, slowly, very slowly. I hope I never fall in love with anybody ever again.
BitFlipper
Level 8
Mar 29, 2020
2
I am sorry about your break up. Everyone has a grieving period after a break up, even the person who initiates it. Good that you recognize that and know time will eventually heal. I also miss having a partner (a lot!!!! and especially during this quarantine). I am lucky that my mother is here with me through the winters, otherwise I would be crawling the walls. Once the danger lifts, people will anxiously be looking to reconnect...the danger and loneliness won’t be forever.
EyesThatSmile
Level 8
Mar 29, 2020
5
You've had some really major hits come your way in a really short period of time, so try not to expect too much of yourself right now. The social distancing alone is taking a tremendous emotional toll, and I think particularly for people isolating by themselves. At least it is for me, and I'm an introvert who usually works from home, so people expect me to be breezing through it. Indulge in relaxing, keep in touch with us here, and try connecting by phone with people you know. Sometimes just hearing another voice helps. Good luck.
Lauren
Level 8
Mar 29, 2020
5
Wow quite a story with many truths, all I can suggest to deal with the lonliness is to do things you enjoy like maybe a hobby if you have 1. I'm dealing with it by watching TV at times that has nothing to do with the Virus usually movies . The News on this stuff is all. About building fear, and actually many people are probably really having a rough time. Here the Cops arent harassing people for just being out . My job is seen as an essential buisness so I'm still working. I fear it pulls people that aren't that social away from other or people that are really social they become distant and Anti social, your right people have to have social interaction of some sort, I mean real ones face to face. Isolation is very bad for people I think not good for the mind
ScienceBill72
Level 7
Mar 29, 2020
2
stay busy. keep your mind occupied. the less your worry about the situation, the better
TheDoubter
Level 9
Mar 29, 2020
1
I'm lucky I guess... I'm isolated with my man and my baby daughter... I talk much on the phone with many friends... And I interact here...
Cutiebeauty
Level 9
Mar 29, 2020
3
@Cabsmom words don't upset me..
As for my perfect life... I'm in NYC... The epicenter of the covid 19 virus in the USA... Doesn't seem too perfect to me...
As for my reply to this post, I thought I was offering encouragement that things can be better... Oh well...
@Cabsmom, @Cutiebeauty The reality of my life is too depressing for many people and I've been asked to hold back. And I have. Just sayin.
@Cabsmom
He wrote :
"This whole experience has made me realize how deep and important social bonding is for our species."
It's encouraging because I'm agreeing with him...
He also wrote :
"Has this virus resulted in the complete isolation i am experiencing for anyone else? How are you dealing with it?"
And I said how I'm dealing with it...
Talking with my friends... Being with my family... Etc.
It seems to me that im answering his questions 100%....
@BitFlipper this community is the best place to talk things out.. I wouldn't ask anyone to hold back about things in their lives that they want to talk about... I've no control issues of that kind... 
@Cutiebeauty Telling someone who's fiance dumped them, who's lonely and struggling, that you're lucky because you're with your man and your baby, doesn't make them feel better, just worse. It puts the attention on you and what you have that they don't have when that's the last thing they want to hear. BTW, I have a lot of close friends NYC who are struggling, so nothing unique about that.
I actually said, "I'm lucky I guess," not just "I'm lucky." Do I you understand the difference?
You wrote:
"... doesn't make them feel better, just worse."
You really can't say how the op feels or thinks about my reply here since he hasn't replied to it... You can only say how you would feel about it...
You also wrote:
"BTW, I have a lot of close friends NYC who are struggling, so nothing unique about that."
I'm sure your "friends" in NYC would appreciate how you are minimalizing their struggles here...
@Cutiebeauty Wow, I love how you put friends in quotes, as if I'm making light of my connections! You want me to feel extra special concern for you because you happen to be in NYC? Yes, I am concerned for anyone who's there, but you are not unique just because of that. I have several close friends who live in NYC, one who is like a sister to me, two who tested positive, and two are under quarantine because they were exposed and vulnerable (one who has a compromised immune system), and I'm scared shitless for all of them. So much for making light of this.
You want to argue semantics, go for it. "I'm lucky I guess" and THEN going into specifics of what you have that he doesn't have and longs for is still patronizing, period. Try to put yourself in someone else's shoes - I'm sure you would feel much differently if you were alone, isolated and grieving.
@bleurowz
" Wow, I love how you put friends in quotes, as if I'm making light of my connections!"
Making light of your "connections?" that's what your friends are? Connections? Connections for what? That seems strange to me... I don't think of my friends as connections... Not even a little bit... Strange wording...
"You want me to feel extra special concern for you because you happen to be in NYC?"
Wow... That's totally off point... Where did I say I wanted anything from you? Feel special concern for your connections... Don't worry about me... How arrogant...
And you totally ignored the previous point I made :
"You really can't say how the op feels or thinks about my reply here since he hasn't replied to it... You can only say how you would feel about it..."
Who put you in charge of how the op feels... Like I said, he hasn't replied...
@Cutiebeauty Arrogant? Wow! I feel concern for EVERYONE going through this. But you POINTED OUT you were in NYC as if that makes your own situation more concerning. It's more concerning for everyone there, not just you.
And again, you want to argue semantics, fine. Yes, close friends are CONNECTIONS to me because I PERSONALLY CONNECT with them. I also said they are close friends and one is like a sister. How much clearer can that be.
I stand by the rest of what I said. You're right, the OP hasn't responded. But I've had enough experience with saying something thinking I was being supportive when it was pointed out that I wasn't, so it's taught me to err on the side of acknowledgement and discretion to someone struggling.
Honestly, I know you do care. I felt your response though was poorly worded.
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