My bf & I have been together for 6 yrs almost 7, & we are very much in love. I'm demisexual; it's hard for me to grasp the concept of emotionless/non-intimate sex. This is not the case for my bf. I have been his only partner; he has never had a consensual experience w/a man; he wants to have sex w/another man & be the bottom. My bf has helped me discover myself in many different ways. He helped me learn that I was trans & helped me accept myself. I have done the same for him. I've helped him to embrace his sexuality & his femininity; we've really grown sexually because of each other. I feel I've discovered myself in full; he isn't as sure. He said that he'd like to prove to himself that he is bi; that he essentially just wants a side hoe. I've fears I think stem from the fact that I'm pre-op trans; I can't give him the sex he wants; he doesn't have sex w/me as often as I'd like, tho he says he feels like if he has more sexual experiences then he can appreciate sex w/me more. 1 problem I've is that I want him to experience himself fully; I don't want to chain him down. I want him to be his truest self; I feel like he needs to explore w/other men for that. We talked about this type of stuff a couple yrs ago; now he has a potential hookup; I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel. He isn't even sure if he wants this to be a 1 time thing. He says that his main goal is to eventually have a person that I'm comfortable enough w/to have a threesome w/.
5
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5 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button."A side hoe"
I stopped reading at that. Sorry.
Ellatynemouth
Level 8
May 11, 2018
1
That's fine, lol. My language isn't for everybody. 
Couples can negotiate anything, including one person being monogamous and the other having outside partners, but both of you have to be OK with it for it to work. Read “Opening Up” by Tristan Taormino or “Designer Relationships” to learn about polyamory and open relationships. But...it sounds like you are not only uncomfortable with the idea of him having another partner but also, you doubt your ability to please him because he wants to try sex with a penis. Have you considered using a strap-on? It’s worth discussing. If he’s only interested in looking outside your relationship for sex, it may be wise to take a break.
UUNJ
Level 8
May 10, 2018
5
I will give those a read.
Advice from an old lady, and I will grant you that I'm pretty straight; listen to your gut. That still small voice down in the pit of your stomach is the true measure of your feelings. How does this make you feel way down deep inside. If you have any reservations be honest and true with your BF, don't let him push you into anything you're not ready for.
HippieChick58
Level 9
May 10, 2018
9
Thank you so much.
Sorry friend, he sounds like a total pillock who is taking advantage of you and you are making excuses for him doing it.
I may be totally wrong and out of line, but the fact you needed to discuss it here perhaps indicates you are not all that happy with the situation either.
LenHazell53
Level 9
May 10, 2018
5
He definitely is not taking advantage of me. He has stated several times that he won't do anything without my permission. I came to outside sources because I just wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this or if anyone could offer me more knowledge of polyamoury (though I don't really think that is the right term considering he would be having casual sex), as we are both still young. Thank you for taking your time to comment though.
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