I agree - the older I get, the harder it is. I always thought it would be easier.

I am 57 years old and I still have my two best friends from high school, one a Christian and the other an Agnostic and I am the Atheist in our trio, It isn't how many friends you have but the quality of the relationships that really matters. These two guys are like brothers to me and we all have each others backs through thick and thin. I am seeing on this site more and more like minded people not that far from me. One lady is only 40 minutes away. I am sure you will be able to make friends here and some will be close geographically as well. Hang in there!

I don’t think it is a pathetic rant. I consider you a very brave and honest woman which is just like the kind of person I would like as a friend.
I found when I got sick with a chronic lifelong ailment that I was abandoned by friends whom I had felt like family for almost a decade. So there are various components when it comes to friendships.
As we get older we get stuck in our ways and if we have friends it is as if we consider our life full and why bother adding friends.
I’m a very open person as it says in my bio, and that tends to scare people away. But I don’t mind.....I’m looking for people who don’t make their decisions out of fear.
But I’m here...I apologize we do not live nearby....but if you ever want to MESSAGE me for ANY reason you are welcome to. Hang in there FRIEND.

It's hard to communicate solely online... it's kinda like when you call someone because you really want to talk.... they don't answer, then text back... What...

I have thinking about that myself. i've been using the internet to connect to people for years with different results. couple long standing friendships including a gorgeous woman from mexico whom i've seem growing into a wonderful artists from the distance that separate us.
have had a couple or relationships but you are right, it is hard.
we are constantly bombarded with information and offer to capture our attention that it is difficult for anyone to gain let alone keep anyone attention.

I agree with you. I have a really small circle of friends because I do not settle just to have people around me. There is nothing pathetic about being honest, nor is there anything pathetic about expecting the same.
Being comfortable with oneself is also important.

This is anything but a pathetic rant. I had this conversation with someone just the other day. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, and the reason I struggle so much is that I always feel like I have to keep so much of myself hidden. Every time I open myself up even a little bit, something I say, think or do ends up coming back to haunt me.

I'll never understand why it's so important for so many people to tear down what is different than them. Why can't people just respect, embrace, and honor the difference? Why do we always have to put on a happy face, pretend life is perfect, and never show our real selves?

That is why I don't make friends, often at all. I'm to the point of being so tired of having to pretend, that frankly, if I can't just be me, it's not worth it.

I have a low bullshit tolerance. I find most people judge me without getting to know me.

Being a stay at home Mom and doing classes online makes things difficult...If you have ANY time to join a class or group with other people, like yoga or painting it gets easier...When you're in a group with similar interests and start telling your stories others will connect with you easier.....then take a little time to frequent local places on a regular basis..acquaintances that you make will turn into friends in time...

Deb, a former stay at home Mom

There has to be shared experience and the right chemistry and the right circumstances for lasting friendship. And even then it can evaporate under the pressure of outside forces. The only thing to do is to keep trying and present your true self.

I think online friendships are difficult to maintain. As with any relationship chemistry is everything, and that requires up close and personal. IMO

Keep in mind a saying I live by: He (she) who has many friends, has few friends indeed. I am friendly with many people and many people like me. Friendship is another level and degree. I have perhaps six friends, two I've known almost my entire life. I am amazed I have so many. So hang in there.

I think the trick is you have to DO things that you love together? What are your hobbies and interests? Whatever it is, go and do it together. their hobbies too.

Dear Aivery,
I must apologize I thought you were a single mom. You are not. You are a stay at home mom. I removed all of my posts relating to dating. You are looking for friendship Perhaps you might go to the park where children are at play. Or a children's museum. You might do a search for activities involving moms & children in your area. Community houses or centers. I am an introvert so I do not seek friends but I wish you luck in your search. My harshness was misdirected.

True, its really hard for adults to make new friends. most of the friends we have are the one we've known for like forever.

This is what happens when you are real! it takes courage to speak how you really feel and not just say what everyone wants to hear to become popular! Never stop expressing your thoughts because it takes a life time to learn how to continually articulate them better!

As a Mom, especially a new stay at home mom (until kid was 2), I found it hard, too. But it isn't impossible. First, find (or create) a Mom's club. Meet with other Moms. You may or may not click well with some or most of them, but you might find after sticking with it a while that you at least have some laughs with other Moms. Also, if your on-line classes are in the same town as the University holding them, then form a study group - just say I'll be at this coffee shop at this time weekly and I want people to study with. If the students are from farther away, that might not work. Also, don't discard the idea of friendship with people who are only interesting or like you in some ways. It is ok to have less-deep-friendships with those who are really only friends because of one or two shared interests. Take what you can get, but don't worry if they aren't deep, life long, friends. And make several of them with interests in different areas, so you don't overload one part-friend. Spread yourself out over several part-friends. Make enough half hearted friends and one or two might grow into something deeper. Especially as the kids grow, Moms of other kids become friends. Use those connections. How about wives of your husband's friends? Have his friends and their families over for dinner, or something, see who seems like decent people to befriend apart from the husbands. When you finish your degree, and your kids are in grade school, it does get easier, as you will be out in the world more. Good luck! Chin up! "This too shall pass!"

Children have very low standards for friendship, plus minimal responsibilities and lots of free time.

I'm an extrovert and making good acquaintances is easy. Making genuine, lasting friendships where we can have fun AND talk serious is harder but possible.

I hang out with some academics and other nerds, plus attend a Unitarian Universalist church so that helps a lot. People expect more serious discussions w nerds or at "church". If you don't know UU, we're basically a community of non-believers who support each other and get tax exempt status. Some very liberal Christians who can't stand idiocy in their churches might attend. My UU has one woman who says she's Xtian.

Two weeks ago I had a bad bike wreck, a UU picked me up from the ER and I had to ask my fellow UUs to stop bringing food after a few days. Community is nice.

You have to find people who have shared interests. For instance I'm a political activist, I have met lots if people with my shared interest. We get involved get out and do things together. You only need a small circle of friends. Anything else are just acquaintances.

All of my best friends were older than me and have been dying off. I have lost 4 in the past 5 years. At 60, it is very difficult to find others to fill the void that has been left. I think the only way to meet people of similar interests and values is to become active in local clubs / organizations that have the kind of people you want to meet. I am in two local photography clubs. I need to find some other groups as well.
Aivery, you need to set aside some time for yourself, to go out and meet some adults.

I sympathise. Have you tried to get out? Maybe hokn local mums or clubs of interest.
Good kuck.

There are some free resources on the Internet devoted to this subject. Making friends and maintaining friendships is a definite skill.