I hide my tears?
6
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For me it has only been 2 years and, yes, sometimes things make me sad (like your posting about the flowers in the hair). But some time ago I decided to honor her and myself by being open to finding a new, special friend. I would take the time to get to know her and let the memory of my late partner be just that. One of the worst things I could do would be to look for a replacement for her. For me it's about letting go yet holding on, on some things (memories).
JackPedigo
Level 9
July 23, 2018
1
@Sheannutt I was only married for 16 years. However, we both had had previous relationships. I think that makes a lot of difference. My late partner was, by far, the best but all the others had some good traits and times. Also, we agreed if/when one of us died the other would let go and look for another.
An interesting story: a former very short term close relationship but now a close friendship for 20+ years told me the women mourn and men remarry. She said I know because after my mother died my father remarried within a week!! I asked and she supplied some details: her parents had been close friends with another couple. The man in the other couple died and then there were the 3 of them. When her mother died the two widowers knew each other so well it was a foregone conclusion they would wed. My friend then said it was a good marriage and she really likes her step-mother.
@Sheannutt I was thinking about this posting overnight and want to add another piece of information. In my, away from the family, life I have been alone some 17 years and been in close, long term relationships (married and posslq - remember that term)? for some 36 years. When the relationship is good I want that but when it is not good I feel a need to escape. Having been in both types perhaps gives me a more realistic view. Although, after the last relationship, I have feelings as you seem to have. It is hard to let go but let go I must.
starwatcher-al
Level 7
July 23, 2018
3
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