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I don't think there is a right or wrong here, but in your opinion, who recovers faster after a spouse dies, the man, or the woman? I have my thoughts, but I'm curious what other people think.

Ron_R 7 Oct 26
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Had a one-night stand with a gorgeous ginger that lasted 26 years, 2 months, 26 days and about 12-1/2 hours.

She died in my arms at 12:05 pm 11 January, 2016.

It is only in the last couple of months that I have come to the point of accepting that she is gone forever, and looking to move on and perhaps find a new partner in crimes against mundanity.

Not anxious, not vexing. Just observing, interacting, and (maybe) hoping.

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I don't think emotions are that gender specific. I have a male friend that is dating after 5 months but his wife had Alzheimer's for the last three years of her life so I imagine he mourned her before she died. My husband was very ill for four months. We were also married for 38 years and I loved and adored him but his health interfered with our physical relationship. I have always been a busy involved person and I stayed busy and involved. I missed him but like him I tend to accept what happens. I was not interested in dating for two years and may have not ever been interested in dating except for the guy that kept telling me I needed to start dating. I dated that guy for 2 years and having a romantic relationship definitely makes you interested in dating again. In other words men and women both act differently based on what took place before the death.

Lorajay Level 9 Oct 26, 2018
3

I think it's situational and depends on the person. All sorts of things factor in; was there a lengthy illness was it suddenn, is the survivor a sentimental type.
My step mom helps admin a grief support forum. There are people, most of them women, who will not let go, some 20+ years later...

Qualia Level 8 Oct 26, 2018

@Ron_R On the other hand my dh's mother, who lost both my FIL and son within 4 months, went and bought herself a 200k apt, went off to Ireland, took a trip to Nashville while her son lay dying in the hospital.

I was a solid basket case for a year. 2017 was "the year of Xanax" for me. It was all I could do to pay a bill. I went weeks without bathing.

@Ron_R Then again. I don't have any personal exp with a widower. Have seen a couple on here who don't seem like they're coping very well. I totally get it though.

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