Today I went to see my nutritionist/counselor and she tells me I am not taking care of myself so well right now. I'm not eating correctly, nor drinking enough water, nor getting enough exercise. I know this is true. I haven't been taking very good care of myself. Almost 6 months now that Richard has been gone. I have tried to do what I know I need to do to take care of myself. I simply cannot get out of the house some days, or get out of my pj's. I feel enveloped in sadness and the tears won't stop some days. About the only time I feel half way good is if I have a smoke in the evening, although I try not to do that every night. Beginning to wonder if I shouldn't just smoke a little during the day and see if it helps. Just needed to vent a little. Thanks for reading and any thoughts are appreciated.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I think you need to speak to a counsellor...are there any bereavement groups which you could join? There are groups here in the UK which are designed to help with the bereaved, one is called Cruse and I am told it is very helpful. It works in either a group setting or on a one to one with grief counsellors. I think you really should try to find such a group and get the help you need.
Marionville
Level 10
Dec 18, 2018
1
I am in a grief support group now, and it is very helpful. It helps to listen to how others are dealing with their grief, but I am still finding life very hard right now, especially the holidays. Richard and I always enjoyed celebrating the Winter Solstice and I will miss our little bonfire and making s'mores for the grandkids. Some days are harder than others and I'm grateful for this group so I can talk about everything. Thank you for your very heartfelt advice.
@Redheadedgammy I hope what I say is helpful, it’s hard to know how people will react sometimes. I think it may be a good idea to break completely with the old traditions which you and Richard observed. Some new traditions could be started with the grandchildren, and then you won’t always be reminded of the absence of Richard by doing the things you associated with him. Do remember though, that 6 months is a very short period of time, and that time itself is the best healer. Let the memories bring you pleasure and not sadness (easier said than done I know), and surround yourself with friends and family. Being busy and occupied is probably the best way to fill your days if you can, less time then for introspection and sad thoughts. Hugs from me ....all the way across the Atlantic! ?
@Ron_R I'm trying real hard to keep on keepin' on. Some days are easier than others. Thank you for your thoughts.
I get it because I did the same thing. I made myself go join a few things I would normally have interest in and it helps . Sometimes it feels I’m just going through the motions but sometimes it helps me think and do something else. Jan 14 is coming up and that’s the day I lost my love . I can not believe it’s a year soon. I am not sure how I I’ll get through that . I might just go back to bed for that day but hope for that day only. We shall see. Very sorry for your loss this is so very hard. We are here for you.
Gypsy494
Level 7
Dec 17, 2018
3
Ying&Yang. ...light tadpole black eye & black ocean white spot. ....metaphors of life&death .... food&fertilizer. ...water&ice steam&chilling fog. .... woman&man mate&mate spouses espousing. ....don't let go of all that great bonding and joys ....do the things that remind you of him DON'T AVOID joys doing his favorite things. ...let the tears be seen in all those special places. ...take pictures of where you two were alone together. ...celebrate in his absence and let your self savor it all alone AND MAYBE WITH ANOTHER somehow somewhere somewhere else. ...????? Go see movies rent movies buy movie CDs cheap @ WalMart and watch each cry if you cry laugh if you laugh listen for his echoes savor the silence ALSO
Thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry for your loss as well. I will keep you in my thoughts next month. My neighbor who is 81 years old, a widow, has asked me to come and join the gym down the road for the new year. I'm thinking about it. I've never been a gym person, prefer walking and lifting light weights at home, but might check things out with Miss Wilma. Thank uou for the encouragement.
I'm sorry for your loss..... it aches, truly it does, i know....What I did is this, after my wife of 17 years passed....I forced myself to go out and make at least 5 people smile....8 years later I've graduated to making at least 5 people laugh every day...that and music therapy helped... but I still miss my Pamela.... hold in there, all the days don't have to be dark... fill them with light again and the good memories will brighten your day....
Be well and peace
Falcone17east
Level 5
Dec 17, 2018
1
force yourself to get moving. it takes effort to break the inertia but once over the hump it goes better. it will seem natural to do things instead of commiserating. I'm sorry for your loss. What i say may sound hard-hearted but in the long run you'll do better.
TheDoubter
Level 9
Dec 17, 2018
1
I know you're right, my nutritionist told me the same thing. It's the getting started part that is difficult.
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