When I was widowed, my own children were already out of the nest and moved away. When I met my present wife, she still had two teens at home in high school. I let her decide when she was ready for me to meet them. They accepted me, but because their biological father had 50% custody and they were already approaching graduation, I was not really a central concern of theirs so long as they knew I was a good actor and wouldn't hurt their mother or them.

It would be different if the children were still young or their biological father deceased, those would be different dynamics. Or if I still had dependent children living with me. In retrospect, we had a pretty simple situation.

So far it has not been an issue. I havent met anyone I would consider dating. Our 5 kids are grown. My youngest just turned 21 yesterday. They worshiped their Pop. My middle son once told me he had a dream that he met my new boyfriend & he "beat the shit out of him". He told me he is afraid of what he would do when I start dating. He has nothing to worry about right now. Their Papa is a tough act to follow.

My children were grown when their stepdad died. They both almost worshipped their stepdad. Like a former poster said, they were old enough to realize that their mother needed more than the companionship of her children. Consequently they've been very supportive of every relationship. I hope you will have the conversation with them and talk about the fact that no one can ever replace their father in your heart or theirs.

one of my challenges too. My soon is just about the same age and trying to figure out the dating world too. I once suggested (as a joke) we double date . . . . did not go over well LMAO

After my wife died, my son encouraged me to find someone .

I think he is old enough at twenty to be able to understand that you need male companionship and that you will not be replacing his father, but finding a different person who can fulfill certain things in your life that you, as a woman, need. I wish you well and hope you find happiness, either with this new man, if he proves to be the right one, or indeed another if he doesn’t. In my case I was much older when I became a widow and have decided not to look for another partner, but feel my two sons would wish me to be happy whatever I should decide and Im sure your children will wish that for you too.