Sometimes inspiration comes from strange sources. I recently watched a Netflix series called dead to me. It's a story about a woman who becomes a widow and finds her husband had a very dark side, and was unfaithful to her. Not every widow (er) had a great marriage with a spouse. I would think that situation would make becoming a widow (er) much more emotionally complex. I didn't have the perfect relationship, nobody does, but I can only imagine how difficult it would be if I found out I was married to a different person than what I thought after he died.
I just finished episode 3 . Fascinating show all around .
 Bigwavedave
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                June 3, 2019
                                            
                                                
                                                    Bigwavedave
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                June 3, 2019                                            
                                        I find that films don't always portray life as it often is. People are all different and, yes, it is often difficult to find the perfect mate but with luck and care you can come close. This is why I hate the idea of 'chemistry' influencing my feelings about another. Take time to know another and be honest with them.
 JackPedigo
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                May 15, 2019
                                            
                                                
                                                    JackPedigo
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                May 15, 2019                                            
                                        I've watched the same series;( I've watched up to episode 4). Thought the same kind of thing. I'd be pretty bitter if I found out a similar thing about my wife. I don't think I will, but it sure as hell would sting if I did.
 Mythbuster
                                                
                                                Level 5
                                                May 15, 2019
                                            
                                                
                                                    Mythbuster
                                                
                                                Level 5
                                                May 15, 2019                                            
                                        I really enjoyed it. it did cause me to think. After going through the grieving process I could only imagine how that new information would really complicate things for a person.
After a spouse died, I think learning of a spouse's dark side would help me emotionally detach from them. This would help speed me out of the grieving phase.
 dare2dream
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                May 15, 2019
                                            
                                                
                                                    dare2dream
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                May 15, 2019                                            
                                        I could totally understand that, but they're still is the guilt and death. It must take a lot of time to reconcile the two
I’m sure it happens fairly often...they may or may not have had a suspicion when the spouse was alive, but these things do definitely have a habit of coming to light eventually. If another woman (or man) pops up after a spouse’s death, and perhaps another set of children....that must be quite hard to come to terms with.
 Marionville
                                                
                                                Level 10
                                                May 15, 2019
                                            
                                                
                                                    Marionville
                                                
                                                Level 10
                                                May 15, 2019                                            
                                        I think our minds filter out what we might suspect - but prefer to not consciously acknowledge. There's a very good reason behind the old saying "what you don't know, doesn't hurt you".
 Lavergne
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                May 15, 2019
                                            
                                                
                                                    Lavergne
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                May 15, 2019                                            
                                        There is also a saying that turns out to be true .if a woman trusts her husband she would be a great deal more happy, and also a great deal more foolish. This is sort of a sexist quote this applies to men and their wife as well.
postmortem news such as that is extremely unsettling
 TheDoubter
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                May 15, 2019
                                            
                                                
                                                    TheDoubter
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                May 15, 2019                                            
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