I read or heard something that struck home. "My spouse is dead but I'm still married".
Does anyone else relate to this?
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8 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.If I lost yet another wife I would keep the ring on and would not be looking for #4. I don't have enough years left to keep re-doing Groundhog Day. Aside from being too old for that shit, that's just too many partners living in your head. I grew up valuing the notion of being a "one woman man" and I've stretched that metaphor as far as I care to, and then some.
mordant
Level 8
July 5, 2019
2
fond memories are one thing, living in the past another
TheDoubter
Level 9
July 5, 2019
3
I know some widows who are "still married". That means they are not open to having a new relationship. They are not receptive to dating anyone. I think that means they are stuck in the grieving zone and will suffer until they decide to start life over again and become receptive to what is waiting for them.
dare2dream
Level 7
July 5, 2019
2
My sister and our mom certainly: " married " widows 13 years each....I can only say I miss my brother in law and dad not quite so much.....as for my Teri we just began to plan long lives when she died sitting up watching the movie I bought her....no I have not been married to that at all....including her family cremated Teri b4 I could drive 56 miles to say goodbye to a corpse....yet they insisted upon me taking a truckload of art Teri and I cherished and they hated
GreenAtheist
Level 8
July 5, 2019
0
No...I’ve been widowed for almost nine years now so have had time to adjust to the idea of singlehood....which I have grown to like. I loved my husband and have never gone looking for a replacement, but I no longer feel that I’m married to him. We move into different phases all through our lives, widowhood is just another.
Marionville
Level 10
July 5, 2019
2
If I did my late partner would come back and kick my butt. We agreed a long time ago that life goes on and even though ours was an amazing relationship we both were realists and knew the importance of reducing mourning time (but keeping memories) and finding another mate. We both had been in previous relationships and both experienced knowing that there is little better in life than finding a compatible mate.
JackPedigo
Level 9
July 5, 2019
3
Life does go on but it's a very different life. And I still feel married. I can't shake it. It's been 20 months. I don't know that it will ever change. I don't KNOW how to be single again.
@freeofgod Were you single once before? Do you have a support group? Do you have other passions? Maybe I'm lucky in living in an amazing place with lots of support and activities. I have also spent some 18 years of my life being single so I know how it feels. Still, one has to look for the future and hope and try for another link in the chain.
@JackPedigo , I had two brief marriages then eight years of a, mostly great, single life before marrying my husband. I was so much younger then. But that was a marriage of 29 years. Things change a lot over the years.
@freeofgod They do and they will continue to do so. I had one marriage of 7 years and a live in relationship of 12 years. Both ended in failure and I was happy being single. But then fate stepped in and I found a true mate. This lasted 16 years. But now it is as I first replied.
It's been just over a year since I lost Richard and I still feel as though I'm married. I haven't taken off my wedding band and don't believe I can for a good long time.
Redheadedgammy
Level 9
July 5, 2019
5
I still wear mine, and my engagement ring, but I no longer feel married. You are still in the early stages of adjusting your mindset, just try to be as happy as you can.
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