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Austin-Cambridge

Man, 69, Faro, Portugal

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Jul 26, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

A word in favour of Boris Johnson! When Britain joined the EU in the 70's, It was a free trade zone for European countries. Since then, It has developed into a central European government, complete with hundreds, if not thousands, of useless, ...

General & Hellos

Jul 25, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

If, as reports suggest, the US administration is attempting to arm separatists in Taiwan, where exactly is the advantage in interfering in Chinese affairs?

Jul 24, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

And Boris forgot his Colt 45 too, still, he got her in the end! ;-)

Jul 23, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Going gaga? I sometimes sit at my computer and watching TV at the same time, if the TV is annoying me, I try to change it using the mouse, mad or what! ;-)

Just for Laughs

Jul 22, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Why does it take three women with Premenstrual tension to change a light bulb? It just does, so shut your mouth!!

Jul 22, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

No, I've never cheated at golf, just on my wife, unlike you! Now take your paws off me dawg!

Just for Laughs

Jul 21, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Americans note:Wheelie bin, a dumpster with wheels, dustman, trash guy, read on! Dustmen banging on a China mans door, he eventually opens the door, he's soaking wet from head to toe with a towel around his waist, where's your bin the dustman asks, ...

Jul 21, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

I found this photo of Trump at 12 years old, seems he's always been a dummy! His hair looks so real though.......

Jul 21, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

The doc said there is nothing wrong with my heart and here's the proof!

Jul 20, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Pity he forgot his Colt 45!

Jul 20, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Hello members, I was given a cutting of this cactus some years ago and It has flowered with this remarkable leathery chap! Has anyone seen anything like it before?

Jul 20, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Hello members, I was given a cutting of this cactus some years ago and It has flowered with this remarkable leathery chap! Has anyone seen anything like it before?

Jul 19, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

I'm sure that some of my fellow members live in coastal cities as I do! Here in Algarve, south coast of Portugal, we have a problem with Herring gulls which have infested the buildings within the city! there are thousands of them, shitting on cars, ...

Critical thinking

Jul 18, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

All is as it seems if you don't know how to look at it, including ones own thoughts! Indulge the wisdom of critical thinking and see more clearly!

Jul 18, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Less is worse! Trump! Tasteless, thoughtless, hapless, ruthless, heartless, brainless, chinless asshole! I ran out of lesses, sorry.........

Just for Laughs

Jul 17, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

What do dog turds, men and women have in common? The older they are, the easier they are to pick up!

Just for Laughs

Jul 16, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Guy picks a very big girl up in a bar, would you like to come to my flat and have passionate sex he asks, good idea she replies, they do. During the action the guy reaches out and turns the light off, the girl starts to sob and says, it's my body ...

Just for Laughs

Jul 16, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

A good question for religious types! If God was the architect of humans, why did he put the pleasure park next to a sewage outlet? ;-p

General & Hellos

Jul 16, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Given that just 11% of electricity generated is nuclear, where is the advantage in the long term production of electric vehicles that rely on non ecologically produced fuel? All this sounds great but what will happen to the billions of tons of spent ...

Jul 15, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Why did the Hedgehog cross the road? He wanted to see his flat mate..........

Jul 15, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Hooray for Theresa May, forced to resign her premiership by the gutless lying toads in her own cabinet, yet finds the courage to criticize the biggest lying toad in the world for being a xenophobe, now thats gutsy Mrs. May!

Jul 14, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Why would the President of a multicultural society openly declare himself to be a racialist when seeking to be reelected? Hopefully Trump will alienate enough of the population in time for the 2020 elections, I don't think there are enough bigoted ...

Just for Laughs

Jul 13, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Guy buys a drink for a hooker in a hotel bar, they are just warming to each other when he says, is that your feet I can smell? deeply offended, the hooker says, certainly not! The guy says, well I hope it's not you pussy..........;-)

Jul 12, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

The American people really deserve to have their very own "Ides of March" before November 2020. If that could happen, I would love, and I'm sure that millions of Americans would love to be there there to hear Trump utter the words "Et tu Bruto" ...

Jul 12, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

What if Trump decides to cold shoulder Boris too? You all know he has no time for critics! He's fucked almost everything else up now, so why not put the "special" relationship to bed as well? Anyway, who needs NATO and the UN, they don't reflect the ...

Just for Laughs

Jul 11, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

A guy goes to the same sandwich bar every day and orders the same thing, this time the lady sees him and says, cheese on rye and a large Coke, you must have read my mind he says, yes, I did she says, Oh Jesus the guy says, I'm really sorry about the ...

Jul 10, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Where does Santa Claus really live live? 1 Lapland. 2 The North Pole 3 The snowy White house..............Sorry! This is the group for the totally confused isn't it? ;-P

Just for Laughs

Jul 10, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Man goes to the doctor's with a vibrator up to the hilt in his anus, sorry, I'm not taking that out says the doc, man says, can you just change the batteries please! ;-)

Just for Laughs

Jul 9, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

A policeman on night patrol shines his torch into an alley, he sees two gays having sex, he shouts "perverts" and gives chase, catching one with his trousers around his ankles, he hits him hard with his truncheon and says, If I catch your mate I'll ...

Jul 9, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

You will never guess who told me this but, did you know that Amy Johnson was on a secret spying mission for George III when she went missing?

Jul 8, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Well, If all the other channels tire of Trump, he will always have the Cartoon Network, easy to draw and nothing of any consequence to say, Perfect for kids of all ages!

Jul 7, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Sorry about your 4th of July celebrations being marred by the ignoramus Trump, perhaps you should consider re- naming it the "Orange mans parade" thats bullshit too!!

Jul 7, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

500 members, well done Yogafan! Well done fellow members too!

Jul 7, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Sunday geometry with A. C. The angle of the dangle is proportionate (more or less) to the direction and/or elevation of the erection!

Just for Laughs

Jul 7, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

The oldest treaty between two nations is that between Portugal and England, ratified in 1386! Yes, we agreed not to bomb one another's airports! ;-)

Jul 7, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Sunday science with A. C.! Question: What is the effect when a body is immersed in water....Answer:..................... the phone rings! ;-)

Just for Laughs

Jul 5, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Two old boys chatting in the pub, do you like women with bad breath the one asks? Oh dear no, replies the other! What about women with big saggy tits? Oh dear no, replies the other! What about women with big beer bellies, bigger than ours? Oh no, ...

Just for Laughs

Jul 5, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Three black ladies sitting on a park bench in Alabama, The first says, I call my man the 7 wonders of the world because he gave me 7 wonderful children! Really says the second, well I call my man the magnificent 7 because he gave me 7 magnificent ...

Jul 5, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

If the British government are using the Royal Navy to do Trumps bidding interfering with international shipping, instead of implementing EU legislation, I bow my head in shame, special relationship my ass, not with this mad bastard!

General & Hellos

Jul 3, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

If the Vatican cared more for the quality of life and less about the sanctity of life, the world would be a better place. Being opposed to both contraception and abortion is in itself mindless "religicrap" and shows the church's anachronistic nature!

Jul 3, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

I don't know.........? If It's not one thing It's your mother!!

Just for Laughs

Jul 3, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

A couple laying back to back in bed, every few moments the man puts a finger between his wifes legs, do you want to have sex she says? No he replies, I'm reading my book and my mouths a bit dry!

Jul 3, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Following the visit of Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to the camps in El Paso and Clint, do you think there is a culture of sexism, racism and general lack of compassion in the USA policing of the border?

Jul 2, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

I left the UK in 1997 when Tony Blair was elected Prime Minister, another tosser, I've never looked back. If your tosser is reelected, vote with your feet like I did, don't suffer tyranny or fools!

Jul 2, 2019Jul 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

If Trump is reelected, the Canadian border is reachable by most!

Jun 30, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump, a meeting of great minds? Nah, more like a meeting of bad hair-do's and a couple of "daddy put me here" mates, a perfect meeting of rich brats!

Jun 27, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Cat Stevens Father and Son, original video, superb, minimum production, maximum quality. Cant send it to you, I'm a ludite :-D

Just for Laughs

Jun 27, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

ADVERTISEMENT If you need terrorists for worldwide operations etc. or even just for stunt rolls in action TV programs and don't want to pay out insurance, contact: ragheadsrus.com For best discount, don't forget to say you saw this ad on ...

Jun 27, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Democracy had it's doubters in ancient Greece, most of the great minds thought it unworkable. Nowadays, we have Mr. Trump to illustrate the imprudence of giving a vote to every citizen whether educated or not! To deny women the vote was pure sexist ...

General & Hellos

Jun 25, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Is America really America or merely a Hollywood style "projection" of what the administration would like voters to see?

General & Hellos

Jun 22, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Why do so many Americans (as they call themselves) despise the word "immigration"? Trump supporters particularly love him for his anti immigration policies, do they understand that all modern day Americans are immigrants by definition? Indian tribes ...

Just for Laughs

Jun 22, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

It is, on the one hand, a good thing that Trump was not piloting that "unmanned" drone over the gulf, they would be having to deal with the biggest slick of bullshit and lard of all time! On the other hand, the worlds troubles would be over! :-D

Jun 22, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Glad you called off the counter strike against Iran Donny, that could have sparked an escalation of violence and would have been pointless, there was nobody on board to land the feckin "drone" so it would have crashed anyway!! Like my logic Mr. ...

Critical thinking

Jun 19, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Could the Democrats use Critical Thinking to De-rail Trumps attempt at reelection?

Just for Laughs

Jun 19, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Man explaining reincarnation to his mate, imagine if we both died, and you are reborn as a daisy in a meadow, a cow eats you and you pass through the cow and emerge as a cow-pat! I come back as a fly, and I fly down the meadow and land on it, hello ...

Jun 19, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Would it appease the Trump haters if a Republican beat him to the White House in 2020 and not a Democrat?

Jun 18, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

A couple of hints for us older folk, men do not consider tucking your testicles in your socks, hang your boxers up and go back to Y fronts! Ladies, if your tits hang so low that you think of tucking them in your knickers, get yourself a rucksack and ...

Just for Laughs

Jun 18, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

An English born Indian chap goes to Mumbai on holiday, whist there he is shopping and sees a shop window with a sign saying: Ties, just 1 Rupee, Shirts, just 5 Rupee, 2 piece suits, just 15 Rupee..... Thinks to himself "Jeeez, I can make a fortune...

Jun 18, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

I see on the TV news this morning that the Trump supporters are digging deep into their coffers for the campaign for 2020 elections, a grand spectacular is in progress! If Trump is re-elected the ignorant bastards will be digging nuclear bunkers in ...

Jun 17, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

You really are priceless you lot, how you all come out of the woodwork when someone makes a post....Rah!

Jun 17, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

It's quite lonely here in the 50+ group, tumbleweed just went passed my screen along with whooshing dust!

Jun 17, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Any music lover would be brought to tears by Samuel Barber's adagio for strings, it's heartbreaking strains are known by millions. For me, an equally emotive piece is the 2nd movement of Beethoven's 7th symphony, for those who are familiar with it, ...

Just for Laughs

Jun 17, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

A naked sex maniac bursts into a Laundromat, sexually assault's three women before running off! The following day the local newspapers headline reads: NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS!!

Jun 17, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

It takes a certain kind of person to put a rabid dog down, a not very easy act of kindness to perform but perhaps saving many more from infection, if you certain kind of people get my drift? ;P

Jun 17, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Remember Kites by Simon Dupree? Probably the only popular music hit in the Occident with lyrics from the orient?

Just for Laughs

Jun 16, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

This is a feckin' joke, it's both very Jewish and very English, OK?...... During the 2nd world war, the SAS sent two of their commando's, both Jewish, quite reasonable given the circumstances, to assassinate Hitler! Under cover, they watch Hitlers ...

Jun 16, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

I may have a solution to the American peoples dilemma..........Dissolve the Republic and become a Monarchy, make the Trumps your Royal Family, appeasing all the dim-wits who love him and whom will never have to vote again! He will only have the power...

Jun 15, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

I was pondering ways of despatching the Trump and thought,"The red hot iron up the anus" Does that work for you? Our forebears were so much more inventive with payback than we can be, feckin' do-good'ers, spoilsport bastards...

Just for Laughs

Jun 15, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Man on a train, middle of summer, girl opposite not wearing panties, showing her privates, do you like that she asks, yes, It's wonderful he replies, would you like it to wink at you? Can it do that, he replies? surely it winks at him, would you like...

Jun 14, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

White smoke coming from a chimney in Vatican city means "expect a new Pope"! Orange smoke coming from Trumps toilet window in the White house means "expect a new Twitter"!

Jun 13, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Hopefully, Donald Trumps last contribution to global warming will be when his great tub of lard of a corpse goes to the crematorium!

Just for Laughs

Jun 12, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

What shall it profit a Church if it makes a profit? What shall it profit a prophet if he admits " I made all that shit up, I'd been sniffing that black stuff that bubbles up in the desert" ;)

Jun 12, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

OPTIMISTS ALL OVER THE WORLD. Post your obituary for Donald Trump here!

Just for Laughs

Jun 12, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

As an agnostic I feel bad about telling religious types that there is no God, seeing their reaction, sad! It's a bit like telling an innocent child that the tooth fairy and Santa Claus are just made up by well intentioned adults! ;)

Jun 12, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Now look here Trump, if false news is as bad as you claim, how is it we all have to swear on the definitive book of false news in court?

Jun 10, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

It Makes you wonder just what it is that attracts women to the horrible, fat, piggy eyed, uneducated, uncultured, multi-millionaire Donald Trump, can't fathom it myself..

Just for Laughs

Jun 9, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Golfer looking for his ball in the rough, he disturbs a pot from which comes a genie, I grant you three wishes but beware, whatever you ask for your wife will receive 5 times over! Right says the golfer, I'd like a million dollars! Your wife will get...

Just for Laughs

Jun 8, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Man having a Rorschach test, psychiatrists shows him the first image, gracious says the man, thats a bit racy! Second image; dear me, are all these going to be so erotic! Third image; I don't think I have ever seen that position before, and so on ...

Just for Laughs

Jun 7, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

A Pizza guy knocked my door at 10pm last night, he had a large box with the lid open, I said, I didn't order that mate! No, I know, he said, it's for your man next door, his Facebook has gone off-line and he wanted someone to see what he is having ...

The Escapees- - Hide here!

Jun 6, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Are dried up old witches with no sense of humor welcome to give their opinions about jokes meant for the boys posted in this group? Please answer yes or no, I'm getting sick of the "Joke" group, it's been taken over by prudes!

Just for Laughs

Jun 6, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Australian walking along a dusty outback road with a sheep under each arm, chap passing says, G'day, mans replies, G'day, shearing asks the passer bye, no, sorry mate, I'm going to shag them both myself.........

Just for Laughs

Jun 6, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Man to his wife: If I died would you re-marry? Wife replies, probably, I don't want to live alone! Would you move to another house? No, I love this house! Would you both sleep in our bed? I expect so, It was very expensive and It's comfortable! You ...

Jun 5, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Knock, knock! Who's there? Trump campaigners! Aw feck, I was hoping it was the Jehovah's Witnesses, at least you can argue with those feckin' idiots......

Jun 4, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

It warms my heart that the British people have given "President" Trump their whole hearted thumbs down. I hope that this world headline hitting event will filter down to his supporters in the USA, the fact that a normally reserved people could show ...

Jun 3, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Do the folk in Glocca Morra ever ask how we are?

Jun 3, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

If the queen decides to ennoble Trump, he could be known as Baron (Barren) Wasteland, thats whats under his happy wrap and inside his head!

Just for Laughs

Jun 3, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Religious education can be bad for you; A big fella goes into a bar and asks, are there any Jews in here? An elderly gent raises his hand and your man knocks him on his pants, why did you do that asked the barman? The Jews murdered Jesus Christ! That...

Humour, Fun, Chuckles, Laughs, or Cutes, From Everywhere.

Jun 3, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

I must have extracted the juice of tons of oranges using our faithful little Philips machine, today for the first time ever I had one with tiny white maggots in it, adjacent to a small puncture hole! I had no idea there is an insect that attacks ...

Just for Laughs

Jun 2, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

A woman finds her husband in bed during the afternoon, whats wrong darling she asks? I have the most awful headache! Wait a moment she says, leaves and returns with a broomstick and rams it in his back, "There she says, it's horrible isn't it you ...

Humour, Fun, Chuckles, Laughs, or Cutes, From Everywhere.

Jun 2, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Being from the city might make you slicker but it don't make you wiser, I was in my 30s when I found out that Hedgehogs are not flat things that live in the gutter!

The Escapees- - Hide here!

Jun 2, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

A white horse walks into a bar, the barman says, thats a coincidence, we have a whiskey on the shelf named after you! The horse replied "Eric"?

Jun 2, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Technology! I must have watched 100 of the "How it's made" programs on Discovery, suffering Tony Hirsts' unfunny quips, and am still blissfully ignorant of it all, I can remember things from when I was an infant :)

Jun 2, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

I did not enjoy Roy Orbison as a kid and certainly not Pretty Woman. However, in later life I've found that Blue Bayou is probably the finest, most angelically sung song of his long career! Just saying!

Just for Laughs

Jun 2, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Two old ladies chatting, old lady one (OL1) (joke in itself) says, did you see that program on TV last night with all that nudity? Yes the other replies, I did, all those men running around with their chaps hanging down, disgusting! I totally agree, ...

Jun 2, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Sure everyone is sick and tired of hearing that damn name, a substitute is needed! I suggest TDS if you say it quickly it sounds like tedious, "THE DEVILS SPAWN" also works!

Just for Laughs

Jun 1, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

So, what was going on in Joseph and Mary's household before an angel came down and inseminated her? Do you think his mother had told him about "the teeth"?

Just for Laughs

May 31, 2019May 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

What's black, crispy and hangs from the ceiling?.............A wannabe electrician! Oooooh

May 31, 2019May 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

I'm an atheist but if the Buddhist's are correct, I hope Trump is reincarnated as a very poor, hungry, skinny little Mexican boy on the wrong side of his feckin wall!

Humour, Fun, Chuckles, Laughs, or Cutes, From Everywhere.

May 31, 2019May 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Hello members! Whats the price of meat like where you live? I recently bought 8 legs of Venison for €150.00..................do you think that was two deer? :P

Just for Laughs

May 30, 2019May 2019

Posted by Austin-Cambridge

Just prior to a naval engagement Captain Hardy asked the Admiral Lord Nelson, Sir, why do you put on your red tunic just before we go into battle? Hardy, he replied, should I be hit by enemy fire and the crew saw blood coming from my body it could ...

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BirthdayOctober 14
Top tags#DonaldTrump #world #god #hope #truth #joke #GOP #wife #bullshit #religious #money #politicians #religion #CriticalThinking #TheTruth #hello #death #humor #vote #mother

Level8 (114,872pts)
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Joined May 11th, 2019
Last Visit Over a year ago
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