If you need me I’ll be scratching at the door...

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2021:

It's a question of perspective. LOL

Hmm alan

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2021:

Cute. Say, does anyone have his mom's number by any chance?

Patience is a virtue! :-D

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2021:

Be careful, don't want to rear-end them. Now, wait, let me think this through. LOL

Freudian slip? [huffpost.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2021:

The "base" will do it too. Probably gonna each send him their stimulus checks and bitch and moan that the democrats stole their jobs.

One of the most obnoxious aspects of Republican behavior is their claimed outrage over a supposedly ...

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2021:

When you're, you're right. And you are correct in every statement.

The real crabs just rotted in shame.

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2021:

Life intimidates art. 🤣

The heat must be getting closer to the real American traitor...DJT! [nytimes.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2021:

It's only a matter of time. This whole truckfull of sewerage will start spilling out pretty soon.

Is It Done Yet? [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2021:

Now there's a guy who likes to get into fights he is bound to lose. Judges don't really react to bullies and strongarm tactics very well.

This asswipe has got to go! Centrist?

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2021:

He is an incompetent intellectual lightweight who understands he has leverage, but lacks the wit or the insight to use it intelligently. I guess he's better than some other WV republican yahoo, but that difference is getting harder and harder to detect.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell Tells Election ‘Criminals’ They Can Lessen Prison Time If They Turn ...

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2021:

This is where we need a "rolling my eyes" reaction.

The Obedient Patient A pretty woman goes to a doctor.

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2021:

Well, that went to shit in a hurry. LOL

And so it begins:

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2021:

That is waaaay too many. These kids will learn, possibly the hard way. LOL

It's easier wearing a kilt, I guess?[agnostic.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2021:

That's hilarious! Gotta love the Scottish sense of humor. They really know how to cuss, too.

Maybe, but those opposable thumbs sure come in handy

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2021:

Ha Ha, they don't know we are really apes and not monkeys at all. Dumb dogs. :)

Weird but might work lol

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2021:

You can break my bones, but you'll never break my boner!

Mariokart

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2021:

Awww, that's gotta be rough.

“I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from...

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2021:

I never regarded my madness in that light before. It's a valid point.

Me on this new diet

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2021:

Lay off the beans, bro! LOL

I'd say "most probably" is the answer to this! :-)

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2021:

If only it was that easy, AC.

The Criminarian

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2021:

Ouch!

can't even get arrested anymore ...[agnostic.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2021:

That is the worst kind of hangover problem. LOL

Haven't seen that one

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2021:

I dunno Bob, I'd give this one a chance.

Rudy Giuliani, After Blowing Past Deadline to Respond to Dominion’s Billion-Dollar Lawsuit, ...

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2021:

He's just squirming around on the hook, which ain't coming out.

Anyone else think we need to get it to promise good behavior prior to being allowed to come back?

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2021:

Unfortunately, I believe there is a jurisdictional problem here.

Are you a happy person too?

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2021:

Whaddaya mean by THAT crack??

Is there a formula?

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2021:

That's not important. What's important is how much money she THINKS he has.

If you’re a bit of a nerd, you may find it relatively funny?

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2021:

Yeah, in theory.

Are you in the corner?

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2021:

Gives a new meaning to the term "drain plug". LOL

Romney's TRUST Act is a Trojan Horse to cut seniors' benefits | TheHill

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2021:

Romney has had a hard-on for social security and medicare for a long time, this isn't anything new. He was the enemy of our enemy for a while, now he's just another wingnut enema.

It appears that Dr. Seuss-ness is alive and well!

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2021:

Oh yeah, box of hammers territory.

Being considerate shouldn't be political

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2021:

I can see this as a legitimate reason.

I see no down side...

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2021:

Yeah, ok. You want me to chip in for the nails? You got a good hammer?

Crocodile Dundee goes into a crowded pub with a big crocodile on a lead, the crowd make a dash to ...

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2021:

Negotiate FIRST. Smart.

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud”............Coco Chanel.

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2021:

Sometimes it's courageous. Other times it just because you didn't know who was listening to you.

So the Vatican is still trying to recruit perverts then, as if their reputation is not stained ...

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2021:

Well that sucks. Ooo, wait a minute, bad choice of words. That blows? No, that's still no good. That bites, I like that one, but only if Father O'Flannagan howls loudly.

How the virus has affected some.

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2021:

Ooooh. Sadly, I can relate.

I never knew this

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2021:

The ones with the best physiques sometimes join the chip and dale dancers as a side hustle. .

Wednesday morning chuckle

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2021:

I did it before. In a pinch, I can do it again if necessary.

Budget nominee Tanden withdraws nomination amid opposition [aol.

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2021:

Well, when the republican caucus is a bunch of spineless hypocritical asswipes, it's not that much of a surprise.

Is that a stimulus in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2021:

Nothing to be ashamed of. I consider mine to be a symbol of masculinity.

The FBI arrested a notorious white supremacist livestreamer in an early morning raid in Florida on ...

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2021:

So the followers of a wingnut insurrectionist convicted felon who *publishes* pictures of himself holding guns and being a racist dick are worried that they might be implicated, huh? Gee, ain't that just too fucking bad, you know?

How about a happy house

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2021:

Looks like this guy is baked. Jus sayin '.

A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St.

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2021:

I think I know that cabbie.

Figured it out...

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2021:

Awwww.

Poor bloke

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2021:

That, my friend, is hilarious!

Love like you have never seen before

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2021:

Sometimes, persistence and ingenuity pay off. Other times, you're this guy.

“Once you're enthralled to your ego in a relentless pursuit of world domination and shoving your ...

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2021:

Joe is onto something there. I think he's right.

Help me

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2021:

First the nails, now the anal probes. Some days, it just doesn't pay to arise from the dead.

New recipe, you need to try it

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2021:

You eat a bunch of these, *you'll* be deep fried. 🤣

Not this time though

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2021:

That's what they teach you in coyote school. LOL

I've found that going along to get along works best...

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2021:

See if you can get a succubus as one of your demons. They are a lot of fun to snuggle with. LOL

Happy birthday, Linus Pauling.

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2021:

I remember reading an interview with Dr. Pauling when I was much younger and sitting on the atheist fence. Pauling was an outspoken atheist. The interviewer asked him, "If you are an atheist, what do you believe in?" Pauling said this, "I believe that all complicated phenomena can be explained using simpler scientific principles." That answer opened the door for me, it galvanized all of my atheist thinking, I embraced it and never looked back. He was a human being with his imperfections, but he was and is one of my heroes. I repeat that quotation when someone asks me what I believe in.

Every day .

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2021:

Family is important. They may not understand, but they will love you no matter what. You're a good dog mama. Somehow, when you take care of them, you are taking care of yourself too. Thanks for your work on the front lines, y'all don't get enough credit. <3

Just saying it's true

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2021:

Technology is your friend!

A farmer had 3 sons Tom, Dick & Harry, every Saturday they all went to the village dance, they never...

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2021:

Uh oh. Always under promise and over perform.

Who is really behind this off-the-wall conspiracy cult?

zeuser comments on Feb 27, 2021:

The key question of how we can snap them the fuck out of it. These lunatics are a festering national sore, it will not get better on its own. I don't have any ideas, I am stumped.

Mixed messages

zeuser comments on Feb 27, 2021:

Yeah, that dog is fried.

MS NASTY IS ATTACKING AGAIN Marjorie Taylor Greene posted a tweet denying Rep.

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2021:

What a sad waste of skin.

All great men are dead, and I'm not feeling too well myself Mark Twain

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2021:

Hah! I feel great, which explains why I constantly teeter on the brink of mediocrity. :)

Trump is gone and yet the loons remain.

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2021:

Old or new testament?

Pour some sugar on me!

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2021:

Is that his story? Really?

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is!"...

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2021:

Better safe than sorry! LOL

Corrupt Repugs are popping up everywhere.

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2021:

Isn't this the same asshole who is suing the electoral college?

When "bite your head off" is not a metaphor

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2021:

I'll take insects who are good at giving head for a hundred, Alex.

The perfect pinata for my next birthday party

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2021:

It seems like a good idea, but instead of candy, it is filled with horse turds and sour grapes.

This guy must have the Brazilian variant of Covid-19! :-D

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2021:

It doesn't keep everyone happy. Yeah, some people slip through the cracks.

Just read this and thought it noteworthy.

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2021:

Lordy, I miss her. :(

Put on the breaks! [thumbs.gfycat.com]

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2021:

Awww, the poor guy!

I'm going to hell anyways, so...

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2021:

A doctor is talking to a patient in his examination room. " Listen," he tells the guy, "you have GOT to stop masturbating! " "But doc, how come?" "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

Wisconsin Republican Sen.

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2021:

Who is paying this looney tune to say this shit? Cuz if he isn't getting paid for this, he needs to be in a rubber room. And if he is geting paid, he should spend some time at the Oxford Federal Pen. 5 to 10 should do it.

This should do:

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2021:

Those are my peeps! LOL

Im not high when i post this marriage?

zeuser comments on Feb 22, 2021:

As they say, marriage is grand. On the other hand, divorce is 50 or 60 grand. 😔

Donald Trump getting ready for a night out

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2021:

This is a picture of the people at Tussaud's museum touching up the wax museum replica. Even knowing that, it still triggers the gag reflex. LOL

If you want to be boss in Iran and you ain't got a big white bushy beard you are pissing in the wind...

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2021:

You need the turban too. My beard wouldn't get me past Iranian customs. Now if I had a turban to go with it...

Believers don't like when you bring this up

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2021:

Yeah, but they feel reeeeally bad about it.

Keeping it real

zeuser comments on Feb 21, 2021:

Fair trade-off.

I am surrounded by churchgoers.

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2021:

While I cannot recommend any specific books or sources, I would encourage you to find a good biography of Harry Houdini, who during the height of his considerable fame, would take the time to debunk claims of spiritual activity in the cities he performed in as he traveled the country. Of course, every year Houdini would tell the world how he did his *own* magic, thereby discouraging copycats. He pissed a lot of people off, and was attacked in Montreal by someone who sucker-punched him hard enough to rupture his appendix. For decades afterward, his widow held a vigil on Halloween to see if Houdini would escape death, which of course he never did. Good stuff. In my opinion, a real American hero. Here's a good place to start. https://www.history.com/news/what-killed-harry-houdini

More dingbat Repugs are rising up and showing their stupidity.

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2021:

All of these dingleberries look so smug when they pull some stupid shit like this, as though to say "checkmate, libs!" after uncorking their latest inane stunt. This asshole, for example, looks like he never missed a martini and came up with THIS idea after pushing through a very bad case of constipation. Time to look smug for the camera. Assbag.

Ironic- Stop the Steal attorney is being investigated for voting in It is always projection.

zeuser comments on Feb 20, 2021:

The next intelligent idea this dipshit has will be the first one.

Surprise!!!

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2021:

Fungus is a bit more difficult to surprise. LOL

Lil Teddy is going to replace trumple thin skin for a minute

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2021:

Hah! The highlight for me was the picture of Hunter in, I would guess, Aspen. I saw Thompson in a bar in Aspen. Long time ago. Good group of memes here Glenn. :)

Definitely them

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2021:

Greed and wishful thinking both play key roles as well. As the old saying goes, you can't cheat an honest person.

You caption this

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2021:

I KNEW it! This smells like bulldog!

You deal with the electricity and water problems, I am going to Cancun

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2021:

Shoulda stayed there. Asswipe.

I want to be part of this suit! PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J.

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2021:

I'm in!

The First image of Mars!!!

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2021:

Should have taken a left at Albuquerque.

Finally found an excellent description of him

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2021:

Maybe he needs a new nickname. I suggest "Spray".

They were talking about a dildo 🤣🤣🤣🤣 the top one cracked me up

zeuser comments on Feb 19, 2021:

I seen some shitty reviews, but this....

Want some chilli?

zeuser comments on Feb 18, 2021:

Yikes! Doesn't happen often, Glenn, but you got me! 🤣

Lizzie Borden Brand?

zeuser comments on Feb 18, 2021:

Welp, that is a metal head all right. LOL Edgy humor, OMH.

Seems Mexico needs a wall

zeuser comments on Feb 18, 2021:

Some, I assume, are good people. LOL Not Rafael, though, he's a prick.

Tell it like it is....

zeuser comments on Feb 18, 2021:

Uh oh. Somebody got some 'splainin' to do.

Does teaching "white guilt" also cultivate a "white pride" backlash?

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2021:

There are nuances here. I, for example, have a great deal of pride that my Polish and Slovakian ancestors made it to America during a time of world war, pogroms, and another pandemic, mining coal that helped build the national infrastructure and support the American steel industry, railroad industry, and 2 word war efforts. I am proud of the role patriots like Kosciusko and Casimir Pulaski played in the revolutionary war, the engagement of the Polish underground against the nazis, including the Warsaw uprising, the repudiation of soviet control, and the ability to maintain a national identity for the 200 some years Poland did not exist as a separate country. We did not have many people of color in Poland or Slovakia. The closest thing to slavery was the decrepit feudal system, and poles were the "slaves". However, I think that adherents of white supremacy based on tenets of innate genetic superiority, including the implicit inferiority of other races, nationalities or religions, are all absurdly wrong. You can have pride in your heritage without being an unreconstructed bigoted asshole. Maybe that's not the space in which this discussion is occurring, but it's a valid point. Of the 6 million people slaughtered by the nazis in the holocaust, 2 million were polish. That's *why*there were so many concentration camps in Poland. We survived. Hell yeah, I'm proud. The yahoos now carrying rebel flags and terrorizing Asians, Latinos, jews and blacks can all blow me. They are our nazis. I am as white as they are, and we are NOTHING alike, there IS NO equivalence.

So they blow up a failed Trump hotel and Limbaugh dies too .

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2021:

Happy to see Rush go. It's times like this I wish there was something like hell waiting for him.

which one are you?

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2021:

I've been putting a line through my sevens for decades. I also put a line through my hand printed Zeds.

“When someone chooses to misunderstand you, despite your best efforts, you may want to examine ...

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2021:

Spock has the right idea.

That’s one of the side effects of bottle feeding, he’s hungry for the real thing?

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2021:

Like trying to find gold in a silver mine.

Uh-huh.

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2021:

I'm a little surprised he hasn't run away to somewhere else by now. It'll happen eventually.

And there was much rejoicing. [newjersey.news12.com]

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2021:

AC may be the one place where this loser is detested more intensely than anyplace else. He REALLY screwed that place over, stiffed a lot of people, and left investors holding the bag when he bailed into bankruptcy. People get very pissed when they find out they've been played like a clarinet.

Just when we think we're done . . .

zeuser comments on Feb 17, 2021:

Me too, partner, but at least we are living through them.