“It seems to me that liberal and humane people, of whom there are many among us, would, if they ...

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2020:

Conservative nazis, on the other hand, consider cruelty to be a requirement and something to aspire to.

[finance.

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2020:

To be fair, I believe the First National Bank of the Caymans calls them 409 accounts, for plausible deniability purposes. Deutsch Bank is going to follow suit.

Today's brain teaser

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2020:

There's some teasing going on, but the brain doesn't look to be involved.

They are pleasing to the Lord.

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

I've heard that the vinegar, sea salt, and smegma flavor is the best one. I saw it in People magazine, as I recall.

Jealous Kim

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

Too fucking close to the bone to be funny.

That escalated quickly!

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

Ouch! That is gonna leave a scar.

Fred trump in Coney island

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

The orange didn't fall far from the tree, did it?

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license.

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

Bill can be a horse's ass sometimes, but he gets it right every so often.

I'd trust the words of Gul Dukat before I would trust anything Trump said.

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

He looks better than our guy too.

Could American Evangelicals Spot the Antichrist?

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

Even if you think biblical prophecy is mostly horseshit, which I do, you gotta admit that's a lot of coincidences.

A word of advice to ALL trump supporters!!!!

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

How about the KGB?

Thanks to Agnostic.

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2020:

Lookin' good partner! Don't let the 7's try to snow you into showing them the secret handshake. 8-)

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2020:

Where have all the flowers gone? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1tqtvxG8O4

I want to know, how many people understand sarcasm?

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2020:

I got a prize for him. I'll give him the prize of his life.

Explains a lot

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2020:

Statler and Waldorf always know the scoop.

George Lopez doubles down on Iran's bounty on Trump's head: 'We'll do it for half' | VozWire

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2020:

The trumpers who are mad at George have a point. From now on, comedians should limit their comedy to making fun of the disabled. Now THAT shit's funny. Mocking dead people is ok too. Or maybe it's just funny if #IMPOTUS does it. Not sure what the rule is here.

Yup good point

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2020:

Maybe MLM?

Iran's parliament declares US military a terrorist organization. [cbsnews.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2020:

And with our current fuckwit in chief, they are not wrong.

So, here is a story about some of the bible thumping Pseudo-Christians in our midst, although it ...

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2020:

There is this, and I think it's accurate. > " It turns out privilege is just like money — you can never have too much of it, especially if you believe in a zero sum game where your every failure is the result of someone else’s success. This is exactly why equality feels like oppression to people accustomed to privilege.

Trump officials are bending over backward to say he didn't threaten to commit a war crime after he ...

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2020:

Thug move. Keep intimidating, keep hitting, keep swinging the baseball bat to the knees. A lowlife criminal approach to, what can only described as loosely, foreign policy. This is like your big brother holding you down and farting in your face. And the typical response, just like all the other responses to challenges to this Vichy administration, ---- what are you going to do about it? Holy fuck, what a goddamn nightmare.

this just in: Trump declares that the reports of an earthquake, and after shocks are fake news, ...

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2020:

Objective, verifiable and provable facts mean nothing to this deluded and stupid *president.* I am, almost, out of pejoratives.

They all deserve this..

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2020:

I think it's more accurate, a big improvement.

Our "president" is threatening to commit war crimes and is threatening our ally with sanctions.

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2020:

Criminals gotta commit crimes. Traitors gotta traitor. What can I tell you?

Satan Refuses To Accept Any More Catholic Priests In Hell

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

I paid the extra hundred bucks for the aisle seat on the express train to hell. All my pals will be there. 8-)

Must be Monday funnies 😉😀

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

You don't want to see how I look in the mirror most mornings.

Wow funny

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

As the last alpaca said, "Fuck that!"

Okay, Bolton says he will testify in a GOP Senate travesty trial.

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

I dunno, he could just clam the fuck up. Allowing his testimony opens a can of worms, so I'm sure the republican wisdom, if that's what you want to call it, is just shut the fuck up.

Ivanka and Trump Organization linked to Suleimani’s front company

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

Like the Corleones would whack the guys that they pretended to be friends with after taking the money, yeah? This looks like the Sopranos, only the characters are less endearing.

We killed their leader

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

Shit, toss in McConnell and Leningrad Lindsey as a bonus.

From Lowe's freezer capacity

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

I'm bookmarking that.

Something to consider! Lol

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

They'd have to do it while he was sleeping with a long range rifle, like they took out that poor sheep.

The few honest ones are leaving the ship [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

If anyone of these guys demonstrated a conscience or a spine, they would have been fired anyway.

"One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to ...

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

This is attributed to Mark Twain, though it's probably paraphrased:"It’s Easier to Fool People Than to Convince Them That They Have Been Fooled

What is the one Truth or Method of finding the truth that you hold sacred above all others?

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

Well, when I was a manager faced with a complaint of some kind, the thing I always made sure that I did was talk with all parties involved to get their respective sides before taking any action. Not sure if this counts. It worked, for me at least, 9 times out of 10.

A close friend of mine goes back and forth between extreme antithiesm and Pascal's Wager.

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

This is the place to have a rant like that, and I bet you feel a lot better having let it out. Contradictions are the lifeblood of any religious system you want to study. Why, for one example, do religions of many stripes require a priest class to interpret the word of their respective gods? Why is killing certain people all right, while killing in general is not? Anyway, you have a sympathetic audience for your point of view here.

What's your tan🤣😂

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

Barfly tan. Not really impressive, but acceptable when chilled with a twist.

Come to think of it, I would be open to a war with Iran if we send as the first wave of attack all ...

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

That will never, ever happen.

What if the Iranians get so upset, they assassinate our president in retaliation?

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

They have already put an $80 million bounty on him, a buck from each Iranian citizen. https://www.newsweek.com/qassem-soleimani-eulogist-offers-80-million-bounty-donald-trump-head-iranian-general-funeral-1480513

Deceased GOP Strategist’s Daughter Makes Files Public That Republicans Wanted Sealed [npr.

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

That's how we grow them here in NC, racist and crooked. Their hubris is what will bite them in the end.

Three wishes

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

Genies can be cagey, but I like the way this one thinks.

Iraq Parliament Votes All US Troops Out The Iraqi government voted unanimously to oust the US out...

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

Well, this is a complicated situation requiring diplomatic expertise, subtlety, and the exercise of soft power. Orange asswipe response: HULK SMASH!

Dangerous & More Insane Than Ever!!!!!!

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

He's been insane for a while. It's only since the midwest decided they hated Hillary more than they liked common fucking sense that he became dangerous.

In Case of Emergency...

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

Ah, I'm almost sorry I trapped some of your buddies. If they would have only stop shitting all over my pantry, we might've been able to work it all out.

I don't care if you like sports or not - that is some funny sht right there 🤣🤣🤣

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

I'd be laughing harder if the eagles pulled it out today. Ah well.

That is a funny idea

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

Shit, is that why they wanted me to sign all those books? I got a bunch of fireballs out of it, so I stand by it. LOL

No wonder donnie murdered the general, a ton of shit is about to hit the fan on his finances.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

Here's a bit of human nature I've learned over the course of my 7 decades. People will be perfectly happy gaining from sketchy illegal activity, right up until the time it looks like they will be implicated. Then, they sing like canaries, up until the time they are assassinated - either physically or financially.

Sick bastard.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepherd? With the stones it's Hey you, get offa my cloud! With the shepherd it's Hey McCloud get offa my ewe! Apologies to my scottish brothers. You can tell a polak joke and I won't complain.

Many do not know that The Lord's Prayer reveals the true name of god.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

I thought god was a tree. As in hail Mary full of grapes, the lord is a tree.

Speaking of war ...

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

Ah yes, the nostalgic memory of Iran-contra. Where's Ollie North when you need him?

the biggest step in a new relationship

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

The first fart while kissing is an even bigger challenge.

Yup no shit

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

Seems to be happening more and more. Luckily, I like beer.

“People don’t like to think, if one thinks, one must reach conclusions.

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

We used this tidbit in user interface design. Don't make the user read, because reading is work, and work is unpopular.

Great Sharpie job....

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

Shit, just follow his cell phone gps signal when he calls Rudy in Kiev.

This explains A Lot

zeuser comments on Jan 5, 2020:

Giving away what you worked for in exchange for being able to insult minorities more easily.

Dumb and Dumber

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2020:

Dipshits of a feather flocking up together.

Ass kisser or cocksucker of the year? [mediaite.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2020:

This dildo is a real fuckwit. He may be as deluded as his idol, though that's a pretty high bar.

Hurry up and wait, Pelosi playing iffy political game.

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2020:

I'd like to see three or four more articles of impeachment added to the current slate. I'd wait to deliver them to the senate until right before the republican convention. If there's a time for hardball, this is it.

What you are seeing is the first engagements of World War III.

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2020:

Calm down. Remember that this idiot could fuck up a wet dream. I'm not saying we aren't in deep shit, but you may have noticed that this jerkoff steps on his own dick a lot. I doubt he'll call off the election. In fact, I doubt he'll finish his term.

Trump is starting a war. The earth v. Trump......

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2020:

I have to admit, this whole situation is awful.

Am I wrong?

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2020:

I say something Linus Pauling once said. I believe that all complicated phenomena can be explained using simpler scientific principles.

Live near Philly enjoy searching for answers in spiritual realms including existential and non ...

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2020:

I don't see cheesesteaks, the iggles or the phillies in that list. Do you *really* live near Philly?

Name one good thing that comes from the Christian beliefs.

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2020:

Bingo! Duh. 8-)

For the dog lovers.

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2020:

Awwww.

"Experience is a wonderful thing.

zeuser comments on Jan 4, 2020:

Experience is what you get about 10 seconds after you needed it.

How do you stop swearing?

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2020:

I find women who know how to creatively string together a series of obscene and vulgar characterizations to be very attractive. My mom could do it due to decades of factory work. It's one of the few things I miss about my ex-wife, lord could that woman swear. When she had someone on the phone giving her the runaround, she could back down a mother grizzly when she started going. Once she gained momentum, the rest was simple physics, and I always thought that was a beautiful thing. One of my favorite bartenders could do it with gusto as well. We all loved it when she 86ed some drunk who stepped in a hole with her, that was very entertaining. I enjoy any good swearing, but some people have a definite talent for it. I wouldn't fucking worry about it if I were you. 8-)

I went to meet Yang last night.

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2020:

I like him too, but I doubt he can generate the funding he needs to stay in the race. Unfortunately, his name recognition is also pretty low. Sometimes when you run for president, you have your eye on a future election and not the one coming up next. Maybe that's his strategy. We absolutely need some innovative thinking and a break from the American oligarchs who currently control things. I hope that happens.

Paul Manafort Says Hannity Served as His Backchannel to Trump Paul Manafort said he used Fox ...

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2020:

Not really a shocker. Hannity's been up marmalade's ass for a while now.

Welcome to the 20's! US Strike on Baghdad! I hope this doesn't start another war!!! 😔 I wish we...

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2020:

You break it, you bought it. Congrats to the moron, the tail is in fact wagging the dog here.

"We have become a Nazi monster in the eyes of the whole world — a nation of bullies and bastards ...

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2020:

Hunter never pulled any punches.

Add "ing" to it!

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2020:

Knives Outing, about a picnic that cutlery has once every year to indulge in cutting humor.

An Alaskan Tale (Where life is tough and humour is dark) The day after his wife disappeared in a ...

zeuser comments on Jan 3, 2020:

Sounds like she's still pretty crabby.

Oh how sweet🤣😂🤣😂

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

I know someone is being demeaned here, but I can't tell exactly who.

From _I Will Judge You By Your Bookshelf_, by Grant Snider; forthcoming from Abrams Books: ...

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

That's hilarious! I LOVE climbing the ladder on a running gag in a comic! Fabulous job.

It makes a great fire starter too!

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

I can imagine the creative process. T: Hey, Pence, what rhymes with fake news? P: Just say fake news again. You know I love you, right?

Trump cabinet meeting....

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

So very sad, but true.

New years

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

Easy mistake to make.

take that happy couples! 😂

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

Awww, it's tough enough to get through to a connection.

I found the real meaning of the New Year !

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

Well, sun, it's all about a rotational tilt and all the shit that it causes. You're welcome.

Lizzie's safe word.

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

Dude..

My dog goes out way more than I do these days. 😂

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

Serious cleavage there.

- Doctor what can I do so that during my holiday trip my wife does not get pregnant?

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

Doctors give the best advice!

Got sick of hearing anything about trump and turned the TV to music.

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

Lookin' sharp ladies!

“Have you let Jesus into your heart?

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

Get ready for the second coming.

May you have sufficient strength courage and desire to overcome all such bumps in all of 2020

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

And luck. Don't forget luck, lotsa luck.

Trump staring down a anti KKK protestor

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

I got your politically correct right here, pally-boy.

A man and a woman were dating.

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

Wow, that takes me back to grade school. The classics never get old. 8-)

Out of the closet

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

And as an additional incentive, I'm giving you each a brand new 3 dollar bill...

Courage could be contagious in the Senate [bostonglobe.com] We can hope

zeuser comments on Jan 2, 2020:

Well I will pull for this effect to take hold, but I'll believe it when I see it.

:( .sseltniop era stnelat ym ,yakO

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2020:

Depends what you use that talent for.

Here's to a great 2020.

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2020:

Na zdrowie!

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2020:

I still do this. LOL

"Intelligent life on a planet comes of age when it first works out the reason for its own ...

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2020:

Everybody has their own reason. Some people never develop one.

New years resolution

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2020:

Have sex first, because god is notoriously hard to kill. I'm a little less ambitious. I just want to have sex and stop right there.

Finally! 😂🎉

zeuser comments on Jan 1, 2020:

I admit I'm a little rusty, but let's give it a whirl.

I was near Mar a Lago this morning, the cops barricade everything but from a distance I saw a group ...

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2019:

Kids in cages, and these guys are worried about vaping. This is why a lot of folk predict the arsewipe will win.

McConnell won’t allow witnesses in Senate trial because they could mean conviction [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2019:

To me, this is a perfect issue to attack all republican office holders defending their seats. Let McConnell stonewall, don't transmit the articles, and hammer that point home in every fucking race in the country. National ads, rallies that stress this, make it a loud and principal point at the Dem convention, keep it alive in every interview with Chuck fucking Todd, rub their piggish faces into their own feces every single fucking day. IMHO of course. 8-)

Would his gallows be called a Cliff Hanger? :P

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2019:

I ain't goin' anywhere *near* that badass, LOL

ALEX JONES ordered to pay 100,000 in Sandy Hook case, judge rules.

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2019:

He should ask the NRA to pony up the money since he's been shilling for them for years.

Why don't people see it?

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2019:

They are distracted by "them there baby killers and queers". That's my guess.

Love the eggs!

zeuser comments on Dec 31, 2019:

They ARE good.