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Do you find it difficult to date as a non believer ? Would you date a believer?

Justbekind 4 Dec 28
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33 comments

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1

I find dating difficult, period, but particularly so as the vast majority of people that I meet are religious, even excessively so. I really would like to meet with someone who wants to know more about me than the church that I go to, and who can relish the moment, rather than looking forward to chucking this life away...

At this stage in my life, I would avoid dating believers. As part of a couple, I think belief or not in the supernatural gods should be something to bond over, rather than to constantly debate. If there was some insanely intense connection from the get go, I would not knee jerk with rejection, but we would REALLY need to get clear on if or how such a pairing could work...

Zster Level 8 Dec 28, 2017
5

I would definitely be able to date a believer if they were completely ok with my non-beliefs. That would require that they are not bible thumping and never tried to persuade me otherwise. I don't mind a friendly debate about religion, as long as it stays friendly and doesn't interfere with the relationship. All respect to both sides, I believe!

More people should be open minded like you

The problem is they're usually not.

I don't find that to be true at all. Most people will go to church on Sunday, call themselves Christian, but that's the extent of their commitment. They don't live a Christian life except for the hour or two when they attend services!

5

I have tried, with mixed results. I think it really matters How much each person feels the need to talk about big life questions, value systems, etc. I can appreciate someone with somewhat different perspective from mine, as long as they are thoughtful about it and can relate to me on questions of social justice. But someone who won't even talk about these things for fear of argument, I feel like I am blocked from even a chance to relate to the real them. What's the point of being together if you have to censure yourself and stick to only talking about football and the weather, etc.?

True

that is so true

5

Dating a believer would be hard. Unless they don't go to church maybe and not so preachy

4

I would and I have.

Good for you

4

I lost my husband almost 3 years ago. We really enjoyed each others company for 35 years. I hadnt really thought about dating until a gentleman asked me out for coffee not too long ago. I work as a deli clerk in a grocery store. It was a customer so I politely declined. I was pretty flustered, though. It did get me to thinking about it. No, I couldnt date a religious person. Its hard for me to find like-minded people. I dont drink & wouldnt date a drinker. Im not who I am at work, so, I wouldnt date a co-worker. Maybe, deep down, thats why Im on this site. I don`t know.

Della Level 6 Dec 28, 2017

Give it a try What have you got to loose just maybe the company of a really nice guy

4

I have dated a non beliver we got along We agree not to talk about each others
belives

4

Not completely. I am very tolerant of others beliefs as long as they are the same way with me. And I have dated a believer in the past and I slowly brought them over to my way of thinking.

4

I would 'date' almost anyone, one date. The odds of a second date? Depends. But you don't really have a good 'feel' for someone until you meet in person.

3

Before I was married it came down to the degree of their beliefs . If the individual was over involved or to much dedicated to certain beliefs and tried to get me involved I would never date this type of person . I have dated believers that never even asked me about my beliefs and did not have any attachment to a religion whatsoever and did not care about my non belief so in this case it is ok ,because it does not interfere with the relationship

3

I have been married many years, but before being married I did not find it difficult except on one occasion when a very nice girl I met was to much involved in her religion and church so I did not pursue a relationship .But almost everyone else I dated were believers that were not that much involved in religion.If I had narrowed my dating to only non believers I would have probably had next to zero relationships

3

I could not date a believer because that would mean they refute the very basis of science and reason.

Even though I am a non believer,I know some of the most intelligent people such as Aristotle,Confucius,Isaac Newton,Copernicus to name a few we’re Theists .There is no correlation between IQ and religiosity.

3

havent had an issue, don't think I have ever been with an agnostic/atheist. Sorry, I just don't consider this to be an important part of a relationship that we have the exact same theology or in my case lack of one.

It would be a nice bonus but it really isnt that important to me. The last person I was with was a buddehist.

It is only an issue if you choose it to be an issue

3

It would not be possible for me, As soon as I heat the god or Jesus word, I'm out.

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Meant to say HEAR.. @Justbekind

I hear ya, as soon as I hear Jesus I know it's not gonna work. I can't respect their intellect.

3

I've never really 'done' dating, so if a vicar even wanted to take me out, buy me dinner and then go dancing, I'd probably be up for it for the sheer novelty value!

Relationship though?

No.

3

I am married to a believer.

3

I have always found it difficult to date. I have always been a non believer, so I have no comparison to notice a link. I find it easier to date people who are honest with themselves and me about what they know and believe, so I have actually gotten along better with a serious Catholic girl than a waffling protestant.

3

I find it very difficult to date as a nonbeliever, mostly because I live in the bible belt. I have dated believers in the past but religion typically plays into ending the relationship. As far as being serious with a believer, it’s not going to happen!

2

I mind my own business while getting to know some one. If they are a worthwhile person, he will be reasonable and agree to disagree, which may lead to some invigorating conversations!
Of course if they are a flaming evangelical annoyance, why bother!?

2

No, not particularly. Though being somewhat of a recluse works against me in that category.

And yes, I would, and have. As long as they're believers and not zealous fanatics.

Logical

2

I would and have dated casual believers. As long as religion is not a dominant subject, it isn't a huge issue. That said, as soon as it is the topic of conversation, it does usually become an issue. And I could not date someone for whom religion is important. Which does, unfortunately, rule out a large chunk of my dating pool.

1

I didn't want to admit it until recently but I think it matters to feel the same way about religion. I've dated but Catholics and atheists and it's not just that the Catholics were the most sinful in terms of lies deception and manipulation (a problem I've never had dating atheists) it's just that it sucks not to be able to connect on such an important level of their personality and that they can't understand how you view the world. Even if you're not looking for an argument I feel there is always some kind of discomfort on both sides when the subject is brought up.

1

I probably could not stop myself from equating being a believer with being a little bit stupid. And stupidity really turns me off. Not just religion. I once fled a date with a quite attractive woman when she kept banging on with astrology and other esoterical bullshit. You believe in jesus, allah or auras? i think i will rather have a wank, good bye.

1

Thinking over my previous answer: Maybe it is actually are they a "live & let live" type or a control freak. If they try to convert you, Run!

I rarely run Into a believer that isn't that way.

1

I did date a believer earlier this year, first time in over 20 years, what a disaster, it was horrible, condescending, taking offense at everything. (and she was worse - haha)

I did earlier this year as well. She wouldn't stop trying to convert me

1

A good many people end up alone in life due to their inability to accept other peoples ideas or beliefs, or lack of beliefs . It’s only an issue if you choose to make it an issue.,this goes for believers AND non believers .Would I date one yes I married one and have been married for for 33 years with no problems concerning this matter . I have interesting debates with her once in a while but that’s it .Who wants to be with a person that agrees with every thing you do ,this makes for a boring relationship

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