When a close friend or family member is "asking for prayers" and you want to wish them well what should you say?
I very kindly tell them that never ONCE has prayer/s EVER done anything of help/usefulness for anyone in need BUT it has made the person offering up the orison/s feel somewhat superior in that they have merely spent a few meagre seconds on their knees,however, IF there is anything I can do or give that my be of some help then I am ready, willing and able to do so.
Haven't been asked yet and can only imagine the situation. Rejection of gods and theology, for me, didn't include prayer in concept; only in addressing concerns to some human-like, fictitious entity imagined off in the sky someplace.
We all share human life and life and love (to me inseparable) with other living organisms. Personal, not theologically induced, impressions from living life and observing it in others is that, being our common source of consciousness, life has it's own overall, expanding consciousness. That expansion, to me again, displays elements of intentionality; indications that some, if not all, life phenomena are not occurring by accident or mere coincidence. One of my favorite quotes from Wilhelm Reich, M.D. is:
"In the act of thought, life comprehends it's own essence." Few things I've read were such a combination of simplicity and broad understanding of life function. IF, consciousness, life and love flow out, it isn't unreasonable to consider the probability that they also flow back in some ways.
This ever evolving point of view includes room for the possibility that 'prayers' directing heartfelt emotions like gratitude, wishes/openness, deference on behalf of others or self, etc. at imaginary deities, have an energy all their own and when expressed therefore might reach connected, sympathetic elements of Nature herself that we can't know. It doesn't close out possibilities that prayer is foolish and superstitious but leaves open possibilities we can't know. Most atheists are comfortable in a state of not having to 'know' everything. I know that love and life exist because they manifest personally and are demonstrated functionally in countless ways in and by Nature.
I just don't say anything or "hope you feel better" or something religiously neutral. I could engage, but the person is probably feeling helpless. Nothing to be gained and everything to lose.
I wish you well, you are in my thoughts..
IF it is a situation where you can help and you are prepared to then do so. Sometimes there isn't much to do because life sucks. That's where the "thoughts and prayers" come from. It is a way of expressing empathy because it feels hollow and awful not to be able to change things.
A phone call or visit to listen once in a while can go a long way in those situations to show you care.
If you do want to help don't ask them if they need help and make them request it. Most will say no. That is as empty as thoughts and prayers, only somewhat bullish in a passive aggressive sort of way. It forces them to shame themselves, and anyway it's hard to know what to ask people to do.
Do their dishes if you are inside their house and you are close enough that that is not intrusive. Offer specific things like "how are you getting to your appointments, do you need a ride?" or " I see your out of milk should I pi think some up?", or just bring in the mail so they don't have to walk. It also protects you from them making unreasonable requests and you being in over your head.
I usually say "I'll be thinking good thoughts." I then ask if there is anything I can do.
Well if I can do anything personally I try to help. If it’s something out of my sphere of education or money I tell them “you know I don’t pray but I will keep my fingers crossed if that helps”
Hoping for the best for you with my fingers crossed.
I suggest that they may be uncomfortable with the answer to my only prayer. Which is, "Thy will be done." By which I actually mean Grant me acceptance of this and all circumstances.
Ask if they need help, if they insist on the prayers I tell that I hope they get out of the difficult situation, if they insist on prayers I tell that it is against my non religion to talk with the collective imaginary friend, but if they need some real help I am available.