EXACTLY.

Correct.

Well stated.

That is not true at all. I cheated once in my 20's and never again. My brother cheated once in his 30's and never cheated again. I don't believe we are that unique.

@Sticks48 is that like"being a little bit pregnant"?

@AnneWimsey So, you are so perfect? Who are you, misses Jesus?

@Sticks48 a tad defensive,are ya? Infact, I was married to a cheater & our doctor told me "you are a very lucky woman" re AIDS/HIV..........

@AnneWimsey Yes I am. I don't give a fuck what your doctor said. I dealt with doctors for a decade. Most of them did not impress me.I guess you have never made a mistake. It must be nice to be able to say that..

@Sticks48 I made at least 2 mistakes, I was married twice. And cheaters are Always cheaters, the number of times they cheated is totally irrelevant, they feel entitled, as you are proving right now with your attitude & insults.....

@AnneWimsey So you have made two mistakes in your whole life? You are special. I am beginning to understand why they cheated on you.

@Sticks48 wow...and, facts? Only one cheated...your ASSumptions are astounding, as is your charming-ness.

@AnneWimsey The way you worded it, it sounded like they both cheated. I did not assume anything. I don't waste charm on the self-righteous. They are right there with hypocrites in my book.

@Sticks48 you mean like those who take marriage vows & then cheat? (which involves lying, sneaking, and etc)? Look in the mirror, sweetie, before you call others the name(s) You personify!

@Sticks48 I stated "A cheater"....???!!!!!

@AnneWimsey You judge me based on something I did when I was 21. One time one 30 min thing. If you are that judgmental and unforgiving ( you sound like a christian ), I can see why you would be difficult to spend time with. And you personify a bitter old woman.

@Sticks48 buwahahahaaaaa!

I prefer Cuisenart myself. Maybe Farberware.

Get with the times man!

It is simply more inclusive than bisexual, it means one will not view gender identity as a barrier to being in a relationship with someone. I know some bisexual people that won't date trans people, for instance, whereas I would willingly date anyone if we hit it off.

Bi is your are essentially open to sexual relationships with men that identify as men, and women that identify as women. Pan means you are sexually open to men, women, and trans-men (biological women who socially identify as a man) or trans-women (bio-men that are socially women). I will agree it's getting crazy. Essentially the whole multiple gender thing some trans people describe means there is as many genders as there are people on the planet, since we all are different in some way. They won't say that, b/c I think they realize it actually is as ridiculous being said out loud as it sounds, but the crux of (some) of their arguments essentially boil down to this.

@maturin1919 @DoctoralZombie Agreed. I think I would wonder if there was something they desire beyond our relationship, or felt was missing. Not sure I would suspect them of cheating, at least not physically, just emotionally. I think it would take a very strong, trusting, and established relationship for me to be comfortable with a girlfriend of mine with another woman or man. I would have to be present, and I sure as hell can't see being comfortable with another guy, and maybe not even another girl. Fantasy and reality are two very different experiences when you have this much vulnerable emotions involved.

being bi- or pan- doesn't necessarily indicate a craving for variety in sexual experience. it can. it can equally just be a lack of preference for one over another. once you've fallen in love, you're true or not according to who, not what, you and your partner are.

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@maturin1919 I can understand that. If we pan and bi people have partners that are willing to explore sexual situations with us we tend to be satisfied.

Many gay men believe this and won't date bi or pan men, that is why I asked the question.

@Kindamany Well that is just odd. Never got that vibe from my gay friends. I identify as pansexual and I’m not more or less likely to cheat than anyone else.

A lot of cheating (not all) is linked to not being satisfied at home and not open to discussing wants and needs which is essential in my mind for a healthy relationship. Once you feel comfortable discussing your wants and needs, no need to go behind someone's back and hurt them. Trust is earned and you cannot half trust someone .

Sorry to hear that.

@Stepmomofdragons In regards to a pansexual or bisexual partner, many are in an open relationship, and thus the increase for STD. Also means on average, the person is more open sexually, and therefore probably more sexually active, thus at a greater risk for contact with STDs. Maybe not all relationships, but every guy I know that is in a relationship with a woman that fits one of these definitions, the relationship is open, so ( 1 ) it is not considered 'cheating', since it is established and ( 2 ) more partners means more possibility for STDs. Granted, my comments are based on my personal anecdotal evidence, so by no means proof that pan/bi-sexual people are all in open relationships, at all times.

@Stepmomofdragons Actually, no...never been in relationship with a pan or bi woman (or man for that matter). Like I said, just my experience with other friends that have been in relationships like this. Pan or Bi has also equated to open (at least for her, not for him - she wanted to play, but didn't want him to b/c of jealousy), which means multiple partners and an increase for STDs.

And again, I said my evidence was anecdotal , just as your two bisexual women example is also anecdotal. I have known people that did have an open relationship (woman was bi), but then they decided that lifestyle wasn't working, or lost interest, and the relationship became monogamous. There isn't one box that describes all interaction, through all time.

@Stepmomofdragons "Like I said, just my experience with other friends that have been in relationships like this."

"And again, I said my evidence was anecdotal"

@Stepmomofdragons I'n not, and in fact have said multiple times my perception is just anecdotal. Do you offer anything for me to analyze though...like some research or data that addresses open relationships? I'm just using critical thinking here. Most people that are bi or pan, are more sexually adventurous, therefor more open to non-traditional sex and non-traditional relationship boundaries. Then you look at AIDS during the early epidemic, how it was prevalent in the gay community (called the gay epidemic if I remember correctly), and was attributed affecting this community so disproportionately b/c of more liberal sexual activity. But again, if you have some hard data or research on the subject, I would be interested in reading it. Just my personal experience, since I have been friends with many in this situation, and don't know of any research that has been done on bi/pan sexual preferences and monogamy. I am sure age, experience, sex of individual, views of partner, and a whole host of other factors would make the research very in depth to fully understand.

@Stepmomofdragons Sure, safe sex is important, but condoms are not guaranteed to prevent transmission of STDs, regardless if it's straight sex or other. And the increase in the number of sexual partners, the increase in the likely hood one will be exposed to a STD. That's just basic math. And I don't know all the details of my friends sex-capades, I will agree that straight people can be uber sluts, sleep around more than a bi person, but on average, straight individuals are more conservative, have less partners, and less contact with multiple partners thus less likelyhood of encountering a STD. Can't find data on bi/pan, but here is the stats on homosexuals (which technically bi/pan do fall into this category).[carm.org]

But it's obvious you don't want a conversation, and want to argue with me (and only me for some reason, although others on here stated the health concerns also). The link is interesting, and I would agree the groups is under researched, but this paper is only looking at open relationships, and doesn't seem to address the sexual activity of bi/pan individuals. Not bad info, and certainly insightful, but not exactly an apples to apples comparison. Anyway, I'm not here to argue or judge you - not sure why you're so butt hurt about the reality of a situation that I personally don't judge anyone for - just am cautious about due to my own health concerns.

@Stepmomofdragons "straight people CAN be uber sluts"..."but on average, straight individuals are more conservative" - don't know why that confuses you. Didn't bother reading anything you said after that....and won't be bothering to read anything you post on this further. Thanks for the dialogue...have a nice day.

I talk about all my feelings with my partner(s).