An "imagining"?

@Nickbeee OOOOOOooooooh! Good one!

Haha!! Peace on earth teeheeeeeeeee!! Sorry me stigmata is messing up my ability to type

Flipping imaginary people.

@Nickbeee my friend just suggested “a delusion”

Good story alright but I can personally attest to its inaccuracy. You see, I happen to be an old waiter. No, on second thought, make that an ancient waiter.. Yeah, that's the ticket, ANCIENT waiter!

As it happens, my first job in the business was at a posh club in Jerusalem and coincidently, the location of the 'Last Supper'. I was a busboy. Jesus and his boys had a reservation for the private banquet room upstairs and wanted to make the best of it. When they made the reservation with the maître d', Irving, they indicated that 'price was no object'. Back in those days, as now, it was music to our ears! Little did we know what we were in for! The original guarantee on the party was for fourteen, but Mary Magdaline developed a last minute headache and a pigeon arrived with a message promising to make it next time..

So Jesus arrives with his buddies and we show them to the room. Judas was their treasurer and social planner. He chose the menu and told us that they wouldn't be needing any wine that night but to keep the water flowing. Irving was a bit disappointed since they said price wasn't an object, he had a special wine card printed just for them with equally special pricing. What really pissed him off was the discovery that Jesus' bunch was pulling a fast one! The cheap bastards were turning the water into some UNBELIEVABLE wines for the 'body/blood' routine.

Well, anyway, at the end of the supper Irv presented Judas with the bill and Judas had a cow! We'd charged them nineteen sheckels for the meal, four sheckels corkage, five sheckels gratuity and a sheckel and a half for Mary's late, no-show on the guarantee. Another half sheckel was charged for the sommelier Bruce, who's incessant, obnoxious whining was driving us all nuts!

After a tirade that left Judas' trembling with rage, he told Jesus he had to go pee. Jesus told him they were still filling the 'doggy bags' and to 'do what he must'. Back then you had to go outside to restrooms. On the way, Judas, the greedy bastard, decided to skip-out on the check and let those other twelve rubes wash dishes for a week or so; thinking they'd thank him later.

Back in the restaurant, we finally figured out what Judas had done and tried collecting from Jesus. He seemed to be the big macher of the bunch anyway. Well, the bigshot didn't have two nickels to rub together! (mostly because nickels weren't invented yet) After Jesus failed to make a barter deal with Bruce, who didn't trust anybody, Irv locked the banquet room door and launched a pigeon to summon the Roman police.

This event explains where the expression 'Jumpin' Jesus' originated! Jesus and ten of his crew jumped out the second floor window of the banques room to dodge the cops. Thomas doubted that he'd do it without hurting himself and was still washing dishes by the advent of the common era, last I heard.

Judas was shacked-up with Mary at her dump, having frittered away the treasury on her pleasuring, when he found out they were ALL wanted by the Roman cops. He sent a pigeon with a deal offer. (this is where the term stool pigeon originated) Figuring the most Jesus would get for the rap would be a few months of probation, he charged (cheap bastard) thirty sheckels to cover the banquet bill. Mary got scared that Judas would try to finger her as part of the deal; but she didn't seem to mind before that...

So there was Judas, broke, sitting on his ass in the street. They didn't have cars then. The Romans arrived and followed Judas' gluteus maximus astride his ass to Jesus and his sleeping crew near Gethsemane and the rest is history.

The lesson? NEVER! Oh, never, never, never run out on a dinner check in Jerusalem!

I'm not sure how accurate my facts are and some information has been classified, but let the evidence lead you to your conclusion.

I was providing Mission Support for Arabian Air at the time and this meant that anytime there was a trek planned I was the guy in the sky nest receiving raw data.

During the times of [CLASSIFIED] I had received no communications indicating crimes or "Punishable Offenses".

Once my crew had learned of the claim about the supposed followers of the "Risen Christ", I was tasked with cross-referencing our organizations positional exposure to the risk of being persecuted and destroyed, by the religious group that would follow ready to wage war against anyone who could have potentially mistreated this weeks savior of the downtrodden and hopeless.

I had found that of all the dessert tribes, I could not find any data indicating a fatherless conception nor pregnancy of a virgin.

In fact Most medical reports(if bothered to be filed) indicate that virginity is nonexistent in the female population beyond age 7 since it was considered wedding age.

I then demanded a Census report for:

1. Any male named Jesus in the last 40 years
2. Any male claiming to be the spawn of a god
3. Any male of white skin that blends in
4. Any tricksters or criminal deceivers
5. Any male involved in any unexplained/mysterious/miraculous event
6. Any person Identified as an illusionist/wizard/magician/genie/ or any other super natural type
7. I was going to continue to refine and increase my sample size, but we didn't have enough resources to exhaust my process of refinement within the expected deadline.

After the exhausting and examining the data to the point of Mastery I had been presented with the below raw data and come to the following conclusion.

1. Any male named Jesus in the last 40 years |[Classified]
2. Any male claiming to be the spawn of a god |[Classified]
3. Any male of white skin that blends in |[Classified]
4. Any tricksters or criminal deceivers |[Classified]
5. Any male involved in any unexplained/mysterious/miraculous event |[Classified]
6. Any person Identified as an illusionist/wizard/magician/genie/ or any other super natural type |[Classified]

The only conclusion that could be reached reasonably based on the raw data was that our organization had a %0.00093 exposure deficit.

These findings were confirmed when the public investigator came to our nest and was asking questions about the same person that my task involved.

From what I hear the investigator decided that we were in the clear and would look to us with great regard in the future after reading my report which outlined the findings I've shared with you today.

@irascible Well shit, if you can be borne of a virgin, turn water into wine, make bread from nothing, and come back from the dead, I guess becoming multiple versions of yourself is a walk in the park.

@Bierbasstard hah! Along with ancient texts they keep hidden which shows their Jesus story is all BS.

Phoenix. Lots of them here, too.

Spanish plurals are pretty much like English, so I think it would be Jesuses.

Hey, it sound like Latin anyway.