Kids that age are like a sponge. You don't have to tell him anything. He'll pick up by your actions that you aren't practicing your old religion. When he hears your secular language with no blessings, no "thank you Jesus", no prayers etc, and sees you not going to church, he'll figure it out on his own. Meanwhile you can still teach him about ancient myths and religions. The more they learn about all the different ones, the less likely they'll be duped into believing one is the true one.

How about something simple since he’s so young? Find something you and your husband disagree about ... something simple, maybe even something cute or funny. Then say in the same way, you have different beliefs about god. He believes and you do not, and everyone has to decide for themselves what they believe.

And leave it at that ... don’t make it a big deal. You can gradually say more over the years when the topic naturally comes up, such as things you see in the movies or the news.

By the time I became an atheist, my children were grown. It is a big regret of mine that I didn't come to certain realizations sooner.

If I could go back in time, I would have let them know, from an early age, that not everyone believes there is a god, that one does not have to believe in a god to be a good person, and people who believe in a god believe many different things about it. I would encourage science and reason and build critical thinking skills as much as possible. This can be done without being offensive to a believer.

Given there was no major fallout, it seems that your husband is not a fundamentalist. It will sure make it easier if he is a passive believer, rather than a dogmatic one.

My eldest went to xtion church. I was a long time non xtion believer, yet got roped into teaching adult Sunday school - I taught ethics. It was my ex-bro-in-law church. Finally my ex caught up with me and we left. Did the Unitarians for years and still find them a pretty good place (each group is slightly different but all seem tolerant of all thought). My kids are all grown and none consider themselves xtions, etc. Two still identify as lapsed Unitarians while one, since very early childhood, rejected all god.
Anyway, best wishes on your journey.

My experience was not analogous, but maybe it will give you some ideas anyway.

I had been atheist for a few years before I had kids. But then I adopted an 11-year old from a religious family (I know! It was an unusual situation! And I was quite frank about my non-belief, too!)

Having been raised Christian, she would sometimes express an interest in continuing. I said that would be fine - she could go with a friend's family, or someone from her bio family. As it happened, she lost interest after a few times.

I didn't make a big deal of it, her birth family didn't make a big deal of it, and so, neither did she. Again, I know this isn't the same thing, but I hope it helps.

An excellent book for children (and adults) to read is called "The Long Grass Whispers" by Geraldine Elliot.
The tales open one's mind to alternative beliefs.
Here's typical review:-
These are the stories of my childhood when i was living in Tanganyika. They are priceless and as bedtime stories for children, they cannot be matched. Each one has a moral, and your kids will not forget them. I loved the illustrations too. I am sorry it has not been reprinted.
You could probably find a used copy on Abe books.

We raised our children with a knowledge of all faiths, and explained that they all had something in common - a code of social behaviour. We also explained that unless these faiths adjusted over time, to take in increased knowledge and greater social freedoms, they became irrelevant, and their adherents might become fanatical. We also told them that they were free to follow whatever religion they chose, or not to follow any.
As a result, they have grown up remarkably tolerant of people from all religions, can see the good points in them, and are utterly unconvinced by religious dogma. Hence they are both atheists, but tolerant of anyone who is not a religious fanatic.
I suggest both you and your husband explain the tenets of all religions, and then rely of them to be able to make their own judgements.
As a spin-off, perhaps if your husband were to study all the Abrahamic faiths of Christianity, Islaam and Judaism, (all of which have many sects) then also study Sikhism, Buddhism, Taoism, Jainism, Hinduism, and Zoroastrianism, then he might even change his outlook.

IMO nobody should ever imply, to a child, ever, that one of their parents is stupid!
Why not just briefly, considering their age, answer any questions they Might have as they arise, as you would do with questions about sexuality or any other ideas they might ask about?
If/when they question you not praying, going to church, or whatever, a simple sentence along the lines of "I no longer think it helps" is plenty

Teach your children to question everything and to accept things that are fact based and be willing to change their beliefs when presented with new facts. Only light can illuminate the darkness, don't try to hide things and don't criticise. Teach them that it doesn't matter you position on an issue if you can logically and emperically defend your position.

Honesty is always best with kids. I dotn' have kids, but I wish my parents were more honest with me.

Now is the time to be completely non-partisan. I would simply say you do not believe and your dad does. Tell them it it their choice and dad can take 'em to church or they can go with a friend.
Morality does not come from religious teachings and there are many stories that are not religious you can use to inform, teach and give your kids a firm moral and ethical grounding. That is what you and your husband must work out, he can not try to turn the kids against you and you can not try to turn them against him. A good councilor might be helpful so there are no nuanced messages form either one of you.

Having faith is not stupid, there are many highly intelligent people from all walks of life who have faith. Blindly believing stories from the bible or other faith book or religious dogma is stupid, but many people of faith can resolve that.
I would call myself agnostic rather than atheist because I am not convinced by either argument.
I would teach that to my children and try to make them accept we don't all agree and we must try to make intelligent choices based in scholarship. That might be too sophisticated for a young child all you can do is adapt for your circumstances. But never, never denigrate your partners belief to your children.

I was Christian for 30 years. I taught Sunday school and took my kids to all of the function until my son was 7 and daughter 9. I just had a near death experience that made me evaluate everything in my life. I look back and still can’t believe I was so open minded and question my faith. I didn’t really have any bad experiences but the truth is very important to me.

Here are the issues I had

1. Hell- God is supposed to be perfect and omnipresent and omniscient . Then why did he make us to where we would sin and like sin. And if he made us to like sin then why would he send us to hell for making us to where we like sin. How could a loving god send 99% of population to hell. Wouldn’t it be better if he just hadn’t made us in the first place

2. No historical record of Jesus- only historical evidence of Jesus is a writing of Flavius Josephus. He was born 5 years after Jesus death. Imagine someone being born 15 to 20 years from today telling us what it would be like to live during Trumps presidency

3. If god is big enough to create universe then why can’t he just forgive us of our sins

I didn’t really say anything to my kids. We just stopped going and if they asked questions then I answered. No reason to go out of your way to criticize religion just focus on what you know is right instead of wrong

Not easy, I never had that problem, my wife and I agreed on most things.

An old friend (as a Catholic) went through a similar experience about five years ago when she realized religion was BS. - - long story short - - both her kids girl about 10 son about 13 were theists when she grew up and tossed her infant (there is a sky-daddy) belief blanket. Her initial emotions were (What a fool I have been for so many years. I have wasted so much of my life basing things on stupid nonsense all those opportunities lost.)

She placed no effort to conceal her newfound discovery that truth is based on testable facts (reality), not faith (belief without evidence) - the foundation of religion.

Thankfully, about that time her son was in religion class at school. The religion class told them about many different religions and what these religions believed so when he asked his mother about about these religions being true, she was able to laugh at all religions with equal level of (face-palm). A few weeks later he, like most in that class, grew up and tossed his theist's baby-blankets as they were exposed to the idiocy of many (including their own) religions.

Her daughter was not as easy a transition. Months later she spent months in a Christian horse/indoctrination camp where she was christened (full cattle tank immersion) into the love of Jesus and light of god. Her mother did not condemn her for not being a rational person but her relationship with her mother is not as positive as the relationship between her son.

Years later, the daughter is beginning to realize religion is BS.

As for her husband, I don't know his religious position.

I'm not sure why it's necessary to announce it to anyone. I am grateful that my mother exposed me to several beliefs (as you are) without ever revealing her own. As an adult I was free to choose my own path without the usual hang ups or challenges or down right abuse I've seen others face. Only in my 30s did we begin to discuss her beliefs in detail and by then her beliefs had evolved quite a bit. As far as becoming an atheist, isn't atheism our natural state? Isn't it a state of being that would exist if we were taught nothing?

The question can be a difficult one. Ultimately, can we teach our children values without indoctrinating them into any particular belief system like a religion? It becomes even more complicated when your child has another significant adult figure who does believe and perhaps does expect indoctrination of the child into a particular religious tradition.

When I first confronted this issue, my kids were much older in their teens and early adulthood. At some point, I realized that I wanted my kids to have the same freedom of choice that I had claimed for myself. If that meant they would follow the religious path we had set for them, then so be it. If they chose another, then I wasn't going to love them more or less because of it.

Kids are individuals and as much as we might like to believe they are empty slate that we as parents can mold into whatever we want them to be, experience has taught me otherwise. I don't doubt that parenting does have significant influences, but it is also limited in important ways. My advice to you would be to teach your kids important lessons about who they are as unique individuals in this world and how to use their brains to sort out difficult problems and issues. As their parent, learn about their unique characteristics, their abilities and sensibilities, and love them and support them in who they are. Eventually, your kids will have the tools to make what they will of their own lives and they will make decisions about what they believe independent of whatever you or your husband may have taught them. I imagine this has been what you did? It's what most of us here have done since so many here report having been raised in religious homes with religious indoctrination. The challenge is for you to live and interact with your kids as authenically as possible and to teach them by this example that they are acceptable and valuable even when they make mistakes (they don't need someone else to die on a cross for them to make up for it).

I wish you the best. Parenting may be the most difficult job to do well, and the rewards are not always as wonderful as you might hope for. This doesn't mean, however, that it isn't an important job or that your efforts won't be worthwhile.

Instead of this approach try teaching your young children critical thinking. Do this through biblical talk as well as other ways. Trying to turn them is going to come back and bite you in the ass. Critical thinking religiously might involve asking them if certain things in the bible have ever happened before, and if they think it might happen again. Examples would be talking snakes, talking donkeys, bones of a prophet bringing the dead back to life, people unharmed inside a fiery furnace, etc. this approach can be a sort of bible study. In the end your children will have to make up their own minds.

When I look back it was really my parents who decided I was going to be the greatest evangelist who ever lived. They did this after I showed an interest in god and religion. I'm sure this is a factor in my becoming atheist later on. It was a belief in nonsense that finally got me into real critical thinking. This happened because I investigated. Teach young children how to investigate.

The word "became." I became a soldier because I made a decision to sign my name and go through the required training. I became a teacher because of a decision I made, went to school, and applied for positions.
I did not decide to become a christian. I was just told I was one. I did not decide to become an atheist. I just was one.
Reading on here I know people struggle with this and I do not denigrate those thoughts. I never had those struggles.
I know this is not an answer to the the question. Just adding a personal observation.**

Do not indoctrinate anyone, that's what religious parents do to brainwash their offspring. Make religion irrelevant by not mentioning it anywhere atvany timr.

To be 'raised' in a theological tradition is to be introduced to it; otherwise there would be no reason to call it raising in the first place. Ask yourself: What would you have been raised had there been no theological indoctrination? In it's absence, a reasonable answer is atheist. It is how we're born.

Can you recall the age when you first came to believe that a god existed? Who might have told you either verbally or by ritual example? Can you recall ever having doubts about it when first told? Most of us can't, regardless of theological tradition, because 'one and all' of them indoctrinate children as early as possible with packaged sets of doctrines first experienced with family and community as 'our faith'. We have an instinctual drive to become integrated with family and others long before the ability to reason and accept anything taught by others; especially as backed-up by their actions and rituals.

If one is fortunate enough to have had intermittent or differing exposure (as in more than one type theological exposure), chances are that some measure of independent reasoning ability will develop in spite of early acceptance. Long-term, full immersion is another story. What are called religious beliefs are branded, packaged systems of thought formulated by others, adopted as a child's price of admission to family and community. The child is thereby deprived of articulating a personal system of beliefs with native reasoning faculties. So, to reject a theological thought system is a loss not of one's own faith, but of adopted, untested, pre-packaged systems of thought embossed on our psyche at a defenseless stage of development.

Rejecting a theology to reclaim that of which we were deprived should call for the regret or 'guilt' to belong to those responsible for the theft. Taking advantage of a child's natural trust and craving to be included is a wrong; whether well meant or not. Are we to feel guilty over reclaiming stolen gifts?

In all species but our own, parenting strengthens, rather than weakens, cognitive ability of the young as soon as possible because their very survival can depend on it. We humans intentionally mislead and lie to our young. There are any number of excuses for confusing their developing perceptual faculties and their little imaginations; including but not limited to tradition and duty to it over duty to them; enhancing their childhood (a thing of recent invention) and the worst, most selfish of all, enjoyment of how cute they are when we make little fools of them. Its all for their own good, of course. Fantasy can feed imagination safely when clearly understood as a pretend world, completely separate from what is real.

Once internalized, reasoned acceptance and non-reasoned adoption feel about the same. Breaking down a child's ability to 'screen' information for validity via reason renders them defenseless to charlatans of all stripes, theological AND secular. Loving parents want their children to be ready to meet life's struggle to survive and prosper. Fostering natural, self-regulating instincts by instilling caution and questioning strengthens the intellectual immune system.

A good place to start with myth correction is the one about 'grown-ups' having to be infallible. Children can develop well learning that respect for errors made by people who love each other goes two ways; especially by example. The ages of your two offer some promising learning opportunities both ways.

My children were grown, for the most part, before I finished growing-up and pursuing an intellectually independent path. Some are still probably somewhat believers and some not. They all, however, understand and respect others' differences in beliefs and that rejection doesn't necessarily translate to disrespect or intolerance.

I would wait it out a bit with the child being so young, with the caveat being that if daddy is teaching the kid to pray, maybe some agreement needs to be reached abkut waiting for a certain age and then both sitting down and having the "this is how daddy sees it and this is how mommy sees it and you can wait and see, try both ways, make a choice now, and whatever it is, mommy and daddy will still love you and mommy and daddy won't be jealous about whose way you choose" talk. And make sure that what yiu say about mommy and daddy is true. But i think one is too young for that talk, so first have the "let's both lay off until [whenever]" talk.

g

Yes you are an atheist. Really understand what that means to begin with and the rest will follow. First, you need to understand and accept that you are now at the default position. There is nothing wrong with that and you should not be ashamed. As a matter of fact, it is the one position that one expects to begin with. Imagine being in the middle east and not being Islamic.

I know how one could be a bit apprehensive at first regarding kids (as I have 2 of my own), however; I find it interesting that you start out by saying this, "I was raised as a Christian". What happened? Why are you not a Christian any longer? You are not being raised anymore. Fact is, the same line of questioning and skepticism that brought you to where you are now is the questions you need to start asking your family if confronted. The beautiful thing about being a skeptic is that it does not have to be pushed on anyone. This can all be discussed in a very respectful, loving and passive way.

I just shrug, with a kind of "I can't help it" expression. That is, I can't help if I don't believe in something that is imaginary. I don't want to be a hypocrite, and I DO want to be honest with myself. And other people. All of the religions are all based on "make believe" deities. There's no more reasonable evidence that our "god" exists than was for the Roman gods 2,000 years ago. Or the Egyptian gods 3,000 years ago. As times change and cultures change, they make up new beliefs for various reasons. Sorry, but now I'm an adult, and I can't go along with it any more.

Seems to me that everyone has a kind of god, in the sense that we all understand boundaries limiting our actions and words, and we understand certain positive guidelines, such as, love your neighbor as yourself, and maintain a friendly, teamwork, attitude.
If we did not all do this, we would crash our cars into each other, all the time.
The difference between the traditional god of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, and the small "g" god of us atheists, is that the religious feel there is a spirit-person, who is similar to a wise human, but better in every way. Whereas, we atheists, or, at least, me, we tend to assemble bits and pieces of wisdom and common sense rules and regulations, and, that is, in effect, our god.
Each of us has a slightly different god, just as each Christian worships a god who is slightly different from the god of any other Christian.
That is clear, because there are so many Christian denominations. Hundreds, at least, maybe thousands. Maybe you can explain that to your son, if you agree that what I wrote here is correct.
Once again, if we failed to follow the same general kind of friendly teamwork attitude, we would crash our cars into each other, all the time.
The difference, once again, between us atheists, and Christians, is that we call it common sense, and they call it doing the will of their god.
I hope that helps you.