When I ceased to believe, I soon felt tormented and filled with trepidation about coming out as a nonbeliever to the people I love and my world being turned upside down because of it. Some people have to wait years to safely be open. I could not imagine having to live like that. I could hardly stand the two months that I kept going to church.

I had to go the first month because I needed to tell my husband first. I imagined there would be great tension at the very least and the possible end of my marriage at the worst, but at this point, it's as if nothing has changed. Props to him, because I don't think I could have accepted the situation if the shoe were on the other foot.

Once that was done, I "gave notice" at church because I was a volunteer in the Children's Ministry, so that was month number two. I simply said I felt my life needed to take a different path without saying it was the road of a nonbeliever. To my surprise, I wasn't pressured into explaining and I still keep in touch with a few people. I have no intention of coming out to those people, but I am not seeking to hide who I am. When and if the time comes and they find out, I'm fine with severing ties at that point if need be.

Right now, I'm wrestling with letting my son know that I no longer believe, but my fears of that have started to ease. Of course, in his case, it's not that he'll shun me (he's six), but that he'll worry about me going to hell. But I think I've figured out how I'm going to deal with that.

That leaves my parents and my husband's parents. (Our siblings don't believe.) At the moment, I'm leaning towards not actually saying anything myself directly and waiting for them to realize what's going on and briefly explain then. It might be annoying for a while to deal with their reactions, but in the end, I think it'll be fine considering our siblings haven't been disowned.

I'm not concerned about extended family and other people. It'll be just like the church people I'm still in touch with. I'll just be me and if they come to not like that at some point, it's fine with me.

My closest friends are actually the ones I confided in first, before even telling my husband. I did lose the friendship of one of them. It hurt a lot but, overall, I think I'm getting off relatively easy compared to others who had to leave a life of faith behind.

Do you do religious things with your family? If not, you don't necessarily need to say anything directly. Although, either way, you might feel better if you simply go ahead and do so, so that you're not constantly worrying about it. Are there any other people in their lives who've left the faith that might give you an indication as to how they might react? Is there anything specific you fear them doing or saying? If there is something specific, then maybe you can figure out how to deal with that particular thing. Just like I realized I needed to focus on the particular issue of hell.

As for finding people of like mind, you can try looking up a Unitarian Universalist church or secular congregations such as Sunday Assembly.

I keep my opinions to myself. Don't like to argue over religion and politics. Think of it as being friends with someone who supports a rival sports team.

When the check out clerk say,, “Have a blessed day!”, I reply with a smile, “I’m an atheist. We don’t have blessed days. We have good days. I wish you a good day.” I speak cheerfully.

Vocabulary position of:
agnostic: knowledge of a god can not be known.
atheist: lacks a positive belief in a god. (this is different then believing no god exists)
"non-believers" (key word "not BELIEVE" ) is the position of an atheist.
I would spend some time and watch a few atheist experience shows. They are often asked this question and have many great (usually rather long case dependent) answers. Here is a random example.

It will come in time. What helped me a lot is that I am really an introvert and therefore outside of my workspace I do not hang around a lot with other people.

Don't fake anything and don't hide anything. Other than that there's no need to do anything. The people who love you will accept you as you are and the rest you are better off without.

Do not become confrontational, just simply stop going to faith-based gatherings, and minimize your time with heavy-duty believers. If asked, simply state you have changed your ideas. Then change the subject and/or walk away if they go off on you....repeat as needed.
As you probably have noticed, arguing about it is not going to change anybody's mind, so why go there?

Here's an idea, stop going to church - you won't be spending as much time with believers and that will make it much more likely to develop social contacts with non-believers as we don't spend a lot of time in church if you get my drift. You can come out to your Xstian family if you like but given time they will figure it out for themselves and can let themselves down easier, up to you.

If you tell your Christian friends and family the truth about your beliefs they will shun you and you can move on and start fresh with agnostic and atheist friends.

Yes it does seem impossible, Peter, but it's not. People do it and survive. One can't know how things will go but that's part of becoming your own person. If you're dependent on them then I wouldn't unless absolutely necessary but, if not, then be open and be proud.

Welcome to the reasonable side!

I think you don't have to change a thing if you don't want to. Find safe spaces/people to talk with. It depends on what environment is available to you. There's always the online route.

And you don't have to break it to anyone, unless you want to. People perform better when they feel they can be their authentic selves-so I would be yourself.

If you're worried that some will be shocked, rejecting, or negative, well, that's possible. But those are feelings and most people don't feel the same way forever.

As a longtime atheist, most of my friends are Christian. One is a minister.

We don't talk about religion. That's what I suggest.

Friends know I have been an atheist since age 13. They love me for who I am.

Stop going to church if you still are.
Look up a meetup group.
When it comes up tell them why you doubt. If they do not listen they care more about a mythical God than you. Frankly I have simply rejected these family members. They didn't have to shun me I shunned them as they were not conducive to a free happy life.

It is said that blood in thicker than water. I make my own blood give me the water please. With it I can live on my own without blood getting everything stained!

Read the bible thoroughly but with critical and scientific eyes, logic and common sense even, compare with scientific and historical facts. When you realize all the bullshit that was ingrained in our brains, then you will know for sure instead of being kind of in the fence.

Hey, one point to try and remember is that we, the non-believers, are absolutely NO different to anyone else, we live, we laugh, we strive, etc, just as do the believers but we also have learned to think and reason things out using logic, etc, and totally without the need to refer to any religious books or writings.
Ergo, we are just as human as you are, our non-belief is NOT a contagious disease and at least 90% of us are very peace-loving people and people who WILL go out of their way to assist/help absolutely anyone in need knowing full well that we expect no reward in some mythical After-life or even this one as well.

You might be able to find other non believers at meetups, after this whole coronavirus thing blows over. In the mean time, hang out here and talk with others. There are LOTS of different groups to check out.

You might be surprised that there are many others like you, especially at your age. It's just that maybe there has been no reasons to talk about it.

Could be more difficult with your family, depending on how seriously they take their faith. Many religious people are there just for the habit or tradition of it. You never know, some may be harboring their own doubts.