Why is it that men can straight up tell you they aren’t attracted to you...but still expect you to sleep with them??
6
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21 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Their interest is strictly sexual. I've had women tell me they didn't want a relationship with me and just wanted sex.
Actually I prefer the ones that are honest and straight forward. The choice is mine whether or not I engage. Life is too short to waste time playing games.
Unity
Level 8
Dec 27, 2020
4
My guess is that with the lights off, they can pretend you are whoever they ARE attracted to. In other words, they are particular, but think so little of you as a person that they will use you and not care about your feelings. It's not that hard to find something we can find attractive in a person to aid in the quest toward intimacy.
My feeling is that in most cases, whether we have a "type" or not, it's after spending a fair amount of time with someone that we develop an attraction, though it might not be immediate. I'm not all that experienced, but seems to me it's just plain rude to comment on the lack of attraction in the same breath as urging intimacy. If over time attraction changes, they should say so.
The charmers will just straight up lie to get what they want, so there is something to be said for honesty.
Julie808
Level 8
Dec 27, 2020
4
famous line from when harry met sally ....guys always want the pretty girls and they wanna fuck the ugly ones too .....ive had men beg and I tell them im not interested but they don't stop and once I tell them why they get stupid and call me names ......
whiskywoman
Level 8
Dec 27, 2020
4
There is an "Ask Men Anything Group" here. Perhaps those guys might provide more insight.
Mooolah
Level 8
Dec 29, 2020
3
I forgot about that group, thanks
For some men, the only requirement for a one night stand is that she have a pulse. And sometimes even that is negotiable.
Deb57
Level 8
Dec 28, 2020
3
Look at the men who replied, so many claim they aren’t that way 
@Marcie1974 And maybe most or all of them are telling the truth. Notice that almost all of them are much older than you. Maybe the men of your generation are mostly dogs, and the men of my generation aren't, at least not as often. Your experience could be age or generationally- related.
@TomMcGiverin yeah, because my generation is the first to have horny men? Lol
I don’t doubt you’re a guy who isn’t just after sex. My ex husband didn’t have much interest in sex either. But I think if you talk to women who have been dating any length of time, you’ll quickly find out there are plenty of men, both in relationships and single, just looking to get laid.
@Marcie1974 I'm saying it may be more common in the men of your generation than mine.
@Marcie1974 although there are decent men in every generation, there doesn't seem to be the hoped-for parallel between free-thinking men and any absence of misogyny. As we can see by many of the crap that gets posted on here, atheist men are just as adept at objectifying women as their religious counterparts.
@Deb57 yes, sadly one would have thought that free-thinking men would be more evolved but as you said, we’ve seen that isn’t always the case
Do not think that has ever happened to me.....not that way, anyway. I have had plenty try to fake-like me to get some, but never one say what you describe. Maybe they wouldn't dare........
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Dec 27, 2020
3
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Commitment-phobic.
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It's a cruel, manipulative challenge to women. "Prove me wrong."
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Sexism. They see women as sexual objects for their pleasure.
LiterateHiker
Level 9
Jan 1, 2021
2
Well said, my recommendation is to not read the other comments on this post
Not me. If I'm not physically attracted, there's not going to be any sex. Maybe you are unwantingly attracting selfish, shallow men. Not all of us are that way.
TomMcGiverin
Level 8
Dec 27, 2020
2
BS, most men will take advantage of any woman will to open her mouth or spread her legs
@Marcie1974 Maybe most men are that way, I have no way of knowing as I am a straight male. You seem to be implying that I am lying about myself and I resent that, Marcie.
@TomMcGiverin I think a lot of men like to think of themselves as a good guy. But generally, most will pick getting laid if it’s an option
I’m not saying you specifically, I don’t know you. But I have enough guy friends and have dated enough to know that a strong majority of the male population is looking to get laid (or blown) by any means possible.
@Marcie1974 Well I am now 62 years old and have never lied or played games to get blown or have sex. You will either believe me or not. I know who I am and so did my late wife I was with for 22 years. Maybe your cynicism about men in general is a turn off to the truly good guys out there and is getting in your way.
Marcie was simply expressing the misandry that many women only share with other women. You have glimpsed the truth.
@racocn8 I get that. I still resent being judged as equally guilty as the other men she has encountered simply based on my gender, no matter how different I may be from said men... Also, when I disputed her assertion on this thread, she more or less accused me of lying about myself, and I rightfully resent that as well.
Misandry runs so wide and so deep, and, it remains utterly untouchable as a topic. Yet, I suggest that it is a central obstacle to men and women connecting. It is part of the female bubble enclosing all the topics that no one dares broach. Without taking responsibility for their corrupt values (hating men), women continue to play inane games that inevitably turn out badly. And then they blame men for it all. Since we can't talk about it, the only recourse is to blow it off and move on. Both sides need more maturity, not just men. Yeah, you don't deserve that abuse, but this is the internet.
@racocn8 I think you have summed it all up well. When I re-enter the dating scene this summer, it will be with the sadder and wiser knowledge that most women out there on the dating scene possess this cynicism, misandry, or man-hating attitude, as you call it, and will proceed forewarned and forearmed to size up which women I encounter on dating sites seem to have this attitude and steer clear of them ASAP.
Funny how this phenomenon has so many parallels to prejudice against other races, sexual orientations, etc. Yet, nowadays it actually seems like those subjects are more open to discussion than misandry, which remains taboo between the sexes.
The greater the potential impact, the greater the deafening silence. Criticizing religion and admitting UFO's come to mind. People are terrified about discussing UFOs!!! And religion is an even greater existential threat as it stops our civilization from addressing climate change.
Good luck with the dating. I used to dismiss Black women because of my own biases. And yet I have found significant happiness with a Black woman. I'll be racist here and say that White US women have more of that misandry than other groups. Meaning, be open to all races. You don't have that much time left, so don't be choosy. Make sure they are well adjusted and have minimal mental illness. Don't waste time with anyone who is too moody. (my past mistakes)
I don't relate to their sentiment. I've never felt like sleeping with anyone for whom I felt no attraction. I've gone very long stretches without having sex and was no worse for it, but a friend of mine has told me that he goes a little crazy when he's been celibate too long. Maybe that's what's going on? Perhaps some men are initially up front about not feeling an attraction but later find themselves horny for so long that they crave physical intimacy on a fundamental level? I don't know whether a lot of men go through periods like that; I know I don't ever feel like I need sex in the way my friend described — and I spent many years without partnered sex or physical intimacy of any sort — but it might be common for many men.
resserts
Level 8
Dec 27, 2020
2
Sounds right. I guess we are rare exceptions.
Marcie, (was my Mothers name), you're hanging out with the wrong men.
MerlinZap
Level 8
Dec 27, 2020
1
I’d agree except that’s 90% of the men I’ve encountered
@Marcie1974 You're a lot younger than me, so a lot of it could be simply the men of your age group. Maybe, compared to my age, they are simply more horny and selfish than men my age. Or not.
Be careful about labeling "men" with a behavior. It's showing us you're pre-judging. Obviously not all do that.
Robecology
Level 9
Jan 2, 2021
1
Yes I agree. Any blanket judgement is a mistake.
A second thought....are you making the frist move after short-ish acquaintance? So that they assume you are horny & want to help you out but no strings.....
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Dec 27, 2020
1
Not attracted... but attracted. Sounds like an abusing scumbag who thinks he's dealing with an easy prey.
QuidamOutrepont
Level 8
Jan 1, 2021
0
there has to be some attraction or he would not want to sleep with you. Maybe they are not attracted enough for a relationship that requires emotional investment, but something about you turns them on enough to want you physically.
joeandbarb
Level 7
Dec 27, 2020
0
That’s still a crappy way to treat someone
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