Yesterday, I was having a meltdown because I couldn't access online banking. I would get a security code and get a notice saying "The code is not right or it has expired." I tried so many times that I finally got "Access Denied." However, that is not the subject of this post! I was able to contact the bank this morning, all of my money is intact, and it seems that the problem is theirs.
The subject of this post is the guy who knocked on my door in the midst of my travails. I answered and a young man was standing there in a uniform of sorts. He asked, "How are you today?"
I said, "I'm having a mini-crisis."
He said (in a very concerned and sincere voice), "Oh, I'm sorry--would you like to pray about it?"
"No, I"m an atheist. What do want?"
He looked a bit surprised but told me that he was giving free home inspections. I told him that I didn't want one. He left.
Living in MO, I am used to people assuming that I am Xtian, but assuming that I am not only Xtian but would want to pray with a stranger who knocked on my door with the intent of selling me something is beyond the pale!
And WHY does someone need someone else with whom to pray? If god can't hear an individual respond but wants a bunch of people to notify him that something is going on, it is a popularity contest on the part of the human and god.
Identifying your own tribe, mostly. Like dogs smelling butts, but not as straightforward.
This guy didn't have a doubt in his mind that I was not Xtian. I can't count the number of times people have assumed this about me. They don't assume it about the overtly weird people, but surely, this elderly lady who is so kind and friendly CAN'T be anything but Xtian.
It's likely just a well meaning habit to offer to pray with someone in crisis, with the idea that sharing a problem and feeling you have support of others helps psychologically even though it doesn't actually solve the problem.
I'm glad you were able to matter-of-factly tell him you're atheist. More of us need to say that out loud when praying with us comes up, and let the assuming religionists know that there are lots of us nice folks coping with life's challenges and mini-crises without relying on pleading to a supernatural figments of our imaginations.
It might have been well meaning, but I also wonder if it were partly a ploy to impress me with the business being populated by Xtians. I have had two businesses in the past try to "woo" me with their Christian rhetoric. I didn't ask the guy what he wanted to inspect per my home, but I suspect it was my gutters and that it was the same business who gave me a bid in the past for gutters and used the Xtian ploy. He said it would take 15 minutes and that is waaaaay too short to inspect much.
The business is Leaf Filter and when they gave me a bid in the past, it went from $6,000 to around $2200 when I kept saying I wouldn't pay that much. I had the job done by another company and paid $1800. Leaf Filter also said I had more than 200 linear feet than the other company said I had.
Yup, good Xtians--lying about the feet and somehow, came down $4,000 in price when I kept refusing their offers. Always get a second bid! The other salesman for a company said his boss was a "good Xtian man." Big deal and "good" is subjective with business and Xtians.
@Gwen_Wanderer Yeah, you are probably right. I've seen businesses that advertise they are "Christian Owned" or something like that, and I think they feel they will be more accepted into people's homes that way. I avoid any business that advertises like that, as a personal preference. Past experiences have shown me that some of those businesses rely on asking for trust and forgiveness, rather than solid workmanship.
@Julie808 I have also seen those shops. I stopped going to a veterinarian who conveniently lives just down the road to me because he would send out Xmas cards that, in so many words, said "better get right with Jesus or you'll go to hell." Maybe his Xtian customers like that type of card, but I didn't.
He is also a sour, dour man. I had a friend who was Xtian who stopped going to him because his "bedside" manner was so bad. You could not tell he even liked animals.
You may have dodged a bullet. Never let any stranger that knocks on your door inside; they could have evil intent. When my son was a newborn and I had not yet returned to work, a man knocked on my door one afternoon and asked if he could come in and make a call to his mechanic. I just felt that it would be a bad idea and told him to give me the number and I’d be happy to make the call. He insisted that HE would need to talk to the mechanic, so I told him there was no way he was coming in my house. (I was glad that our security door was always locked.) He said he’d have to go somewhere else and I agreed. He went to the house next door and when the young teenager, who had been told never to answer the door when no parents were home didn’t answer, the man walked right in. The daughter happened to be going down the stairs when he did. She screamed and ran up the stairs into her bedroom and called police, but the man had left. The next day, the newspaper reported that several houses in the neighborhood had been burglarized that afternoon. Keep your door locked, including the screen door, and don’t let anyone in that you are not expecting.
He wanted to inspect the outside of the house, probably the gutters. I felt safe as my front door faces the road and I have neighbors who "keep an eye out."
Long, long ago, though, I lived in Cali. My ex went to work very early in the morning, leaving the house around 5:30 AM. One morning after he left, there was a knock on the door. I had gone back to bed, but got up, my two dogs barking loudly, and asked who was there. It was a man who said his car had broken down and asked if could come in and use my phone.
No.
I asked him to give me a number and I would call his friends. Nope, he couldn't do that. I told him there was a convenience store just down the road and he could call from there. He had no change. I told him I was not opening the door and he needed to leave. He did, but I wonder if he would have left if the dogs (one was a very large collie with a deep bark) had not been barking and growling. I still wonder if he saw my husband leave and knew I was home alone.
At any rate, never happened again.
@Gwen_Wanderer I lived in California when it happened to me. On the corner of a busy street. Sadly, women can never be too careful.
@KateOahu totally agree.
It is indeed a thing in the USA, although not as much as it used to be years ago. Here in Fluriduh they have taken to places like the supermarket parking lots where they accost total strangers with their " message. " I just about lost it last time it happened to me and told him where to stick his Jesus! I no longer tolerate religious nutjobs who use a ruse or other means of insulting me with their nonsense.
Years ago, I complained to a manager at Walmart that I did NOT want Xtians standing by the doors and "harassing" me for money as I walked in. I told him I don't mind Girl Scouts selling the cookies, but asking me to contribute to a church was too much. He took me seriously and there were never there again.
Before that, an Xtian had hit me up for "missionary" money in the parking lot. I told him that if donated to my church, I would donate to his. He said, "Ok, what is your church?" I was a practicing pagan at the time and told him, "The temple of the mother goddess who created us all." This was totally tongue in cheek as there was no temple.
He stammered and said he "couldn't" support "satanists." I said, "And I can't support Christians."
He nearly ran away from me!
Funny that how people in the US can knock on ones door and want to pray. I have never encountered it anywhere else in the world, and when I ask around my friends and acquaintances neither have they. Is this something that is common in the US?
Evangelizing in the USA is legal & protected by the 1st Amendment to the Constitution. Jehovah Witness' leave their comic books, Mormons come for a visit. Evangelical christians are required to recruit. Then there are the cults which rise & fall with each new messiah. One is currently running for President so he can remain out of prison. I dare no utter his name.
I had a guy from a local church stop one day to ask me to come to services. I told him I was a atheist and he said he would pray for me, but didn't try to persuade me to come to Jesus. I have had strangers in stores tell me that they would pray for me, but this was the first time a tradesman had offered to pray with me.
I live in Bible Belt--people assume that anyone who does not "look" satanic is a Christian. I have been told by Xtians I simply CAN'T be an atheist because I am too nice. That makes me laugh considering the number of sour Xtians I have met.
What no JW's, Mormons and 7DA in Canberra?
Hallelujah rejoice because even as far as Longreach, Aramac &- Baraldine I have been hassled by these nutjobs. In Aramac I was able to stop the JWs by mounting a goats head and pentagram on a board with the caption underneath.." come unto me ye my children of yodhehove, for I Satan AM your father and master. I had l lot of satanist literature attached as well. they never came back. The mormons travelled a long distance to hassle me. I so I mentioned in passing that this
country is vast, people disappear all the time never to be heard of again. I asked them if they would like to test this notion next time they came ??Dunno if it worked , we left Aramac Qld
@Gwen_Wanderer I had a tradesman offer me something else that I will not divulge here, but it had something to do with horizontal bodies.
@Gwen_Wanderer, @vocaloldfart We do have both, however they don't seem to be very vocal about their religions.
@Jolanta I had a guy come to give me an estimate on replacing some rotten boards in my porch roof. When I asked him how much it could cost, he said, "For you, $500" (or however much he quoted). I knew that the bid was low.
I told him that I would think about it and on his way out, he grabbed me in a big bear hug and lifted me off the floor, making it plain that the cost might be even lower. I did not make a scene because I had no idea how he would react.
I would have called and complained to the owner of the company, but he WAS the owner. Needless to say, he did not replace the boards for me.
@Gwen_Wanderer One thing about anyone giving you a free home inspection is that they are getting an idea of how it is set up. Is this for a robbery later, or what? they also get an idea of meds you have in the bathroom or other places.
@DenoPenno exactly. If I want some work done, I will call a business and not have some guy knocking on my door. While he wore a uniform and his truck had the name of a business on it--I didn't look closely enough to see what it was--that doesn't mean anything.
@Gwen_Wanderer Place a review on Yelp. Anonymity is available there as well.
@Mooolah I don't which business it is!
@Gwen_Wanderer My god, you could have a whole house redone. What were you thinking girl
@Jolanta for two minutes, I did weight the options . . . was a cheap repair worth prostituting myself? If he had been good-looking, my decision might have been for the cheap repair. (Grin.)
Praying is as much virtue signaling to others as it is to their god.
The guy very likely thought I would be impressed by his offer and thought I would be more open to the inspection. I know he would have found something wrong and offer the services of the business to fix it.
Maybe. But I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he didn't have some base motivation in part. Motives can be hugely complex and involve assorted aspects. Motivations can be seen as the salient part of any interaction and otherwise discount the specific content (speech).
@racocn8 When I say "something wrong," I mean an imagined "something wrong"! If it were the company who wanted to put in gutters a few years back, I know he would have found something wrong even though I had another company install new gutters.
You should have said "Want to pray with me? Great!!!". Then pull out an Islamic prayer mat and ask him which way Mecca is
Some JWs stopped one day and when I told them I was a pagan (I was not yet ready to accept that I was truly atheist), they tried to tell me why I was wrong and I told them the history of Xtianity, including the Great Schism schism circa 1054. They gave up but asked if it were "OK" for them to pray for me.
I told them to go ahead and do so and I would "ask the Great Mother Goddess to send them healing winds" so they would understand the error of their ways. They looked frightened and said, "Please don't do that!" I smiled and closed the door.
@Gwen_Wanderer Had a JW once, wanted a talk so invited them (2 of) in and asked "Would you like a beer?" They declined so I acted affronted. "What!!! Won't have a beer with me? Get out of my house!"
I at least amused myself.
@puff I love you!
They just assume everyone thinks like they do. intellectual minimalism.
Indeed!