"Plenty of Flakes" is what I call POF.

It’s a scam. Didn’t find even one fish or even a mermaid on the site

You are correct on many points. It's the antithesis of being user friendly. It's overrun by fake accounts seeking money. Having said all that, I actually did meet my wife of for years next month, on that site... no joke.

Very complete report...thank you for taking your time to share with us.

POF is terrible.
The “chemistry test” is part of the paid service.
When I used it, it did have non-religious or some such thing BUT KEPT TURNING THAT FILTER OFF.
I was “matched” almost exclusively with guys with a high-school diploma who smoked - both dealbreakers for me.

Abandon all hope

I received a message from a guy yesterday.... in response to him hearing about my recently broken heart...That I should..."Cut bait and Keep fishing".... I think the best advise I have ever received.

I gave it up several months ago. I'm looking for love, not a hookup

Sounds like a fishing expedition (sorry, i couldn't resist!). I hit the jackpot with my first contact on another dating app. I have 2 suggestions. The first suggestion is from my personal experience. Seek out answers to specific questions on your initial messages. Like, would you date an atheist? I received a message from a turned-out-to-be scammer here on agnositc that was very general. I read his profile and asked him a direct question about his career field. He wouldn't/couldn't answer it. He tried again a couple of weeks later stating he was busy working. I restated the question. End of conversation. I think the scammers are trying to get you talk about yourself and forget that you are not getting any insight about them. Sometimes i think its a way for them to perfect their coversational english algorithm. The second suggestion is from a comment I read here on agnostic. Be one of the first persons to initiate contact. And make your message informed and specific. Like, I too like [concerts, camping, scubadiving], when was the last time you did it? My last time was [the best, worst] and I want to do it again.

It seems all the popular sites are a mixed bag. But it is possible to meet someone. You just need abundant patience, a ready sense of humor, enough common sense to avoid the crazies and the scammers, and be open to the possibilities !

I still laugh when I think that one of my best finds, that ended up being a 4yr relationship - was with someone I met in that wierd , racy, nutsy world of the old Craigslist single's ads. Ha.

I have been on & off POF for almost 10 years, have had some fun meets, some very weird meets, and one long-term (almost 3 years) Penpal out of it. I have also been on other sites, a few paid. I find POF incredibly easy to use, the filters work well...distance, age especally so. I decline all offers to pay for "more service". It seems, just like on this site, that the number of scammers is way up, sadly. Insisting on direct answers to direct questions is the best method to weed them out...for example, "did you have a favorite pet as a child?"...what real person wouldn't love to babble away about their gerbil, dog, fish? But a scammer will reply, "oh my dear I am so thrilled we have similar experiences"

Pof has definitely gone downhill hard.. when i was on it my first go around , it was pretty good.. now the scammers have taken it over so much its pretty useless.

After my divorce, about 9 and a half years ago, I tried both POF and Match. All told I think I had 3 dates, none of which was a second date. Women I was interested in online were generally not interested in me, pretty much like in real life. So I stopped. I did get a date recently on Tinder. Sweet woman, very cute and intelligent, but way too young for me and we both knew it. I've had much better results the old fashioned way. I'm not breaking any records, but it passes the time every so often. It's a crap shoot no matter how you do it.

P. S. If the religion thing is something that your keying on you might try OkCupid which delves into many questions and details more than most sites do.

I have been very clear on my profile that I am an athiest, a socialist and an environmental activist. I get very few hits, and when I do, it is clear they didn't read my profile. I am also a fitness enthusiast a la Jack LaLanne and most of the hits don't have a pulse. In spite of this, I always thank the person for their interest. When I contact someone, I virtually never get a thank you. The general rudeness of the women is striking. I see the fake profiles;usually say 65 years old, but the pictures are unmistakably of a 30 year old.

Sounds tedious.

I've run across those fake profiles on POF. Most are really obvious, as you mentioned. I get very few messages but when I do, it's the fake "hey there ". That gets my immediate deletion. Can't imagine everybody using the same phrase "hey there ". Figure it's probably one organization preying on people looking to connect with a member of the opposite sex. Must be scam-money to be made. Not from me if I can help it. Usually buxom young lasses just dying to connect with an old guy such as myself. "Her" profile shows a 20-something, "her" stated age is 60-something.

I've been on POOF for a few months now. I was on Metch before that, for 2 years, and earlier about 2008-10, too. Yes, POOF is harder to use than Metch, and has more junk profiles, and is clunkier to use, but my experience has not been nearly as bad as yours. Even though POOF says that most women read your profile before writing, I haven't found that to be true. I get dozens of clicks on my photo alone, from people with no compatibility activity- or philosophy-wise. But the price is better than Metch, and anyway, after two years there, I felt I was only seeing re-runs on Metch. But Metch's key-word-search function is great. You can even search for their categories Agnostic or Atheist, much more specific that POOF's "non-religious".

And living in west lower Michigan, neiher POOF nor Metch recognizes Lake Michigan, so they both send me matches from Wisconsin, as if it was really 100 miles away. (To be thorough, Agnostic.com does this too.) One of the greatest advantages of Metch over POOF is that on Metch, if I click "Remove" on a profile, I never see it again. Whereas POOF will send me interesting profiles that have (unbeknownst to me) blocked me or otherwise prevented me from contacting them (too far, six month out of their age-limits, whatever) and then, after I have wasted time reading and writing, it tells me I cannot contact them. They should not offer me profiles if I cannot contact them. I complained to POOF about this and their reply made no sense, as if they hadn't understood my complaint. Despite all that, POOF is cheaper, indicating that we get what we pay for.

In general, Paul hit it well: You have to do a lot of sifting on interweb dating sites. And never give personal info, last name, phone number, real e-address, until you are confident in the person.

You are such an interesting and charming guy...I hope you find a person who appreciates that...at least you are willing to put yourself out there and into this maze...enjoy the lingerie pics at least...ha ha ha Good luck, Paul!

Hi,

Absolutely agree with all you have said, I find it very frustrating and as soon as you log on the fake messages start. To be honest I won't be using it much anymore and I didn't know that Match.Com owns everything! There is no surprise there though as only a few major cooperates own everything.

Tinder not so bad but I never get the nude pics lol have chatted to a few and been ok although not gone too far as I am not looking for anything serious yet. So I took the plunge and joined Fabswingers as I am open sexually and it has been pretty good, I have even organised local socials.

Kind of works too, I get singles turn up and couples, just a big laugh a few drinks with like minded people bloody great atmosphere.

My friend and her husband have been married for 7 years now and met on the site.

I tried P.O.F. for over 2 years and found it was more like Plenty of Fishcrap.

This site is by no means immune to scams. Most, but not all get pulled down fairly quickly.

That's why I've pretty much all but given up on looking for dates and casual dating. Too many fake people out there, variables, and what not which makes it complicated.

It was to problematic for me to sort out the chaff. And, the fact that I was stalked twice from men on there while they did nothing to help me didn't help. The only thing they would do is refund my money and allow me to leave. This was after I blocked one over ten times and he would just create a new profile to find me and taunt me again. Thankfully, I am intelligent enough to never allow anyone to know my address unless I am very comfortable with them or he'd be at my door. It's different experiences between men and women for certain.