Agnostic.com

58 11

How to stop men from picking up a precious wood sculpture?

""Don't touch art" was a family rule when I was growing up. Terry and I taught that to our daughter. One-finger touching began when she was a baby.

But some men make a beeline for this white cedar loon bowl on my coffee table, picking it up with dirty hands. I cringe. Worse are guys who toss keys or change into the center.

"Don't do that!" I tell men. "That's art." ("Were you raised in a barn?" I think in disgust.)

I purchased this white cedar carving by Kwakiutl artist Lloyd Wadham, Sr. in 1984. His carvings are featured in art collector books.

"You need to keep the loon bowl in a plexiglass case," a professional art restorer advised.

Women show good manners and don't touch it. I have displayed it on my glass coffee table for 30 years. Some men feel entitled to handle whatever they want. Their poor manners appall me.

When children visit, I put it on a high shelf.

Your thoughts?

p.s. Thanks for your advice, everyone. I put a small sign by it: "Do not touch."

As with children, I will put it away when new men come over.

LiterateHiker 9 Aug 23
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

58 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

Sorry but if you leave something that looks like an ash tray on a table in a room people are going to think it is a bowl or an ash tray simple as that.
I have a display cabinet in my front room and anything precious to me (mainly presents or achievements by my kids and grand kids, but some art and antiques) are kept behind glass, safe and clean.

@LenHazell53

You think it looks like an ashtray?

Clearly you know nothing about Northwest Pacific Coast Native art.

It's an exquisite white cedar carving by the late Kwakiutl artist Lloyd Wadham, Sr.

@LiterateHiker
You are quite right I do know nothing about Northwest Pacific Coast Native art, and so too I expect do about 98% of other people.
Is it altogether reasonable for you to expect every other person to have such knowledge in order to fit in with your personal tastes?
I am very versed in the art and culture of ancient Egypt, I would not dream of expecting anyone else who came in to my home to understand and show respect to a statue of Sekhmet I have in my front room, so I keep it safe.
I am sorry if you find it unreasonable for "men" not to mistake the (quite reasonable) uses and purposes of your art without prior knowledge, but I find it unreasonable for my entire sex to be labeled as uncultured and bad mannered because you choose to have your home fitted out to favour your enthusiasms with not thought for the protection of your art or the sensibilities of others.

@LiterateHiker Not an ashtray but it does look like it serves a function with the hollowed out back. This leads me to believe that the man who carved it probably thought it should be used as more than art.

Also... I'd wager that 99% of us know nothing about Northwest Pacific Coast Native art.

Just put a small sign beside it that says "please do not touch!" and call it a day.

@RiverRick It is traditional in some parts of England that ashtrays have an ornate base with a delve in them into which a fitted brass, steel or glass bowl sits, and to be honest I agree it seemed to be this was the functional purpose of the art, and as such was meant to be picked up and moved to where needed.

@RiverRick

On a yellow card, I printed "Do not touch" with a black Sharpie pen. Set it beside the Loon Bowl.

The Loon Bowl needs to be seen from above. On a high shelf, the exquisite carving is concealed.

This would spoil it for me, too.

@LenHazell53

What makes you think I put no thought into protecting it? You are wrong.

Heat would crack the wood. So, it never gets direct sunlight. It's not near a heat vent. It is by my enormous Christmas cactus that provides moisture. I set the Loon Bowl on the far corner of the coffee table, away from drinks and food.

At Christmas when the coffee table is needed for gift unwrapping, I put the Loon Bowl away.

@LenHazell53

11

Can't...resist urge. Must touch...wooden birdy.

9

I think you need to stop inviting men to your abode, and not only will your art work not be touched but they will not pee on your toilet floor either.

8

WOW... RELAX! (Or start giving a Do's and Don'ts list out to visitors)

A very nice sculpture and I know it has special meaning to you as all of my art and interesting items I put all around my house mean special things to me. In my opinion, if it isn't supposed to be touched either put a sign on it or put it on a shelf. I would NOT put it under a Plexiglas stand.. Wood should breathe!

I encourage people to pick my stuff up... That's why it is there... to spark conversation! The only things that shouldn't be touched are where they should be for things that really shouldn't be touched... On the mantle, a shelf, or on the wall. Perhaps you should mount your sculpture on the wall?

The patina that things pick up over the years show how much they have been treasured and enjoyed. You should think about that!

If you were to ever bark at me like that if I were to have picked up your sculpture... First I would suggest you put it in a spot that doesn't entice people to do just that.. I mean seriously? Coffee table items scream to be picked up! I have never been to a house where people put "don't touch" items on their coffee table. Secondly... I'd never be back after a dressing down like that.

You asked.

@RiverRick

This carving needs to be seen from above.

6

It’s beautiful and precious to you, so just put it behind glass or on a high shelf or this will happen time and again. Wood invites us to touch it, there is something very tactile inducing in a beautiful wooden object. When we invite others into our homes we also must expect human behaviour which sometimes may not please us, but we cannot live in isolation. People and friendships, are more important than objects, no matter how precious or beautiful, in my opinion.

6

men tend to touch women without asking; what's to stop them from touching mere things, however precious?

g

@genessa

Exactly.

Many men feel entitled to handle whatever they want, including me.

@LiterateHiker i don't know if i've mentioned this before, elsewhere, but in case i haven't: i was on my way to group therapy one day in the early-mid 1970s, and i was early, so i stopped by a drugstore to peruse the magazine stand. i was flipping through the pages of a periodical when i felt, on my ass, the hand of a man passing by behind me. he was gone before i could protest. so when i arrived at group, i mentioned the incident to the gang and was surprised when one member asked me if it didn't feel nice to have my butt stroked.

i admitted that sometimes it did but then asked him if it felt nice when a fly landed on his penis.

he had no response.

g

@LiterateHiker I did not!

@PondartIncbendog

You did not do what? Please clarify.

p.s. Was your username formerly "bendog"?

@LiterateHiker Of course. And I didn't handle you! Not that I wouldn't want to. I just ........never mind.

@LiterateHiker And if any unfortunate soul comes into my house and throws anything in my bowls, its kamakazi time.

@LiterateHiker To enter someone's bubble is a priviledge that must be earned.

@vjohnson51 what did you do?

g

6

You are right to protect this beautiful piece of art. Maybe when men come over, you should treat them like children, and put the loon bowl away.

Sounds like a good plan to me.

6

This cereal bowl is lovely. sorry my froot loops stained it purple, but thats what ya get for making a bowl shaped like a Toucan. ohhhhh and your priceless sarcophagus, yup, count chocula.

5

I’d say putting it on your coffee table is pretty much an invitation for it to be picked up and examined.

@jerry99

Women show good manners and don't touch it. I have displayed it on my coffee table for 30 years.

In contrast, some men feel entitled to handle whatever they want, including me. Their lack of manners appall me.

@LiterateHiker Big difference between examining an apparent knick-knack on a coffee table and pawing a woman without permission.

@jerry99

It is not a knick-knack. Men with manners ask first. "May I touch it?"

None of the doctors or lawyers I dated touched it. They recognized this native carving as fine art.

4

I'd probably pick it up and act like I am a 5 year old running around with a toy rocket..

wwooooooooooooossssshhhhhh

4

So, I would never put something on my coffee table that I would not want touched. Maybe I think that way because I’m a man? I don’t know.

4

Sounds like ideal behavior is expected from imperfect humans . I'd definitely place it somewhere else. Or hide it when men come over ... ha.

As an addendum , I'm glad that most of the men I've been exposed to have been sensitive enough to know better. Might have something to do with the fact that there are artists musicians and actors among them. Though I find no particular guarantees in civil behavior based on education level. Or gender either for that matter !

3

I was an antique dealer for fifteen years, and have seen both men AND women pick up and handle/fondle things they shouldn't have. Which is why antique shops generally have a sign in a prominent place, reading "Pretty to look at. Pretty to hold. But if you break it, consider it sold!".

3

Is that a place to stand your coffee, just behind the head? 😄🤣😂

@Petter

The lace-covered dresser was the best place to take pictures.

Look at the photo I added today with the "Do not touch" sign.

3

The problem is that it looks like a 'practical item' with the bowl/recess in the middle. It looks like something someone would have specifically for the purpose of having somewhere to keep their keys - in short it doesn't 'look like art', it looks like a practical key-bowl, and a fascinating one that people will want to look closely at. And keeping it on your coffee table puts it in a 'practical key-bowl' context.

So yes, I can understand why it's annoying - but I also understand why it happens.

@ToakReon

Your comment makes me cringe. You and some men see it as an ashtray, a key receptacle or a place to toss your change.

I don't understand the male compulsion to touch wood. I was taught to keep my hands off art.

At age 15 at the Medici tombs in Florence, Italy, I was shocked to see Michelangelo's marble sculptures "Dawn" and "Dusk" unguarded. You could run your hands over the sculptures.

Did I take advantage of the lack of protection? NO. I kept my hands off.

@LiterateHiker I'm sorry - but with a recepticle (complete with 'practical central tray area' ) sitting on a coffee table, which is very much a place for 'practical items', then that mistake will be made - and HAS been made, repeatedly, as your own post states.

What am I supposed to say?

If you take your work of art, and that work of art has the characteristics of a practical item, and you place that work of art somewhere that suggests it is, indeed, a practical item, then you cannot really blame people for assuming it's the practical item it appears to be.

If you consider it a work of art, then display it in a manner that shows it to be a work of art. It you don't want it touched or handled, then display it in a manner that indicates that it is not to be touched or handled.

If you don't do either, then what are people supposed to do? Read your mind telepathically, in order to realise that this rather fascinating looking wooden bowl sitting on your coffee table mustn't be touched?

If you want people to know it's a work of art, but don't actually INFORM them that it's a work of art, how are they supposed to 'magically know' that it's a work of art?

@ToakReon

Yesterday I added a sign.

@LiterateHiker Good - I hope it does the necessary.

3

I have a very delicate silver sculpture that i have had for over 40 years, It has a glass case. I have had people actually lift the case off to examine it more closely. I finally had to put it out of reach of everyone.

3

It's awesome. In my experience most will not know the value/ beauty of an item. I always keep stuff I don't want touched in my display/China cabinet. I don't get the enjoyment of it being fully displayed but get peace of mind and less aggravation.

3

put it somewhere untouchable - maybe your bedroom - where you see it, enjoy it, but don't have to worry about it.
Get a cheap wood turned bowl for the coffee tble, keys, change, sweeties, etc

3

I've been trying to teach the 6 year old, "If it's not yours, don't touch".
Sounds like we're having the same level of success.
I, at least, have hope for the small human.

I guess saying, "that's ART, you philistine!!!!", is out of the question?

3

Many, myself I would have no reason to pick it up and examine the piece but I do question the sense to leaving it where someone could pick it up and do so if you hold it in such high regard. By the way they have signs up at the Corning Glass museum in their art section to not touch the pieces for the same reasons you have mentioned.

3

NOTE: Your pictures don't do it justice. Zoomed in on an enhanced copy I made. But still. To an uncouth lout such as myself, it looks like something I'd have picked up in a souvenir shop in Alaska, or NZ. Or a flea market. 🙄

@bigpawbullet

You're right. I will try to take better pictures of it. I'm on it.

@bigpawbullets

Better? I took more photos. That's not the glass coffee table.

2

Good way to weed out men without manners.😉

2

If you mounted it so that it actually looked like "art on display", instead of just a knick-knack, they might keep their hands off:

2

I once bought a delicate, hand painted pie crust table and when my son came home he dropped his backpack on it and when my ex came home, he pretty much did the same thing. Both of them got reamed out. I took it back the next day. I have found Men love to touch wood in particular. People touch things and the only way to keep it untouched is to move it from harms way when company arrives. I invested in glass cases for the things that are too fragile, and have never regretted it.

2

Things on the coffee table are there for everyone to touch. You don't get to make special rules.

Put it elsewhere.

@ MarkiusMahamius

Where were you raised, in a barn?

Don't touch people's belonging without their permission.

As @Triphid said, "A very nice work of sculpting, deserves to be admired BUT not touched in my opinion."

So one jackass comes into my house and sees my paycheck. Should he look at it? Anything on the coffee table is fair game? How about unopened mail? My doritos?

2

Sadly this is something society does not teach us men. We are hardly ever taught how to properly treat art. I recommend put it somewhere we won't be able to touch it. Else the typical male will think it's jist a bowl or a key holder or worse an ash yray

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:392979
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.