A few years back when my wife was still alive, the doorbell rang and she answered it. I followed her to the door and listened as she asked the two young ladies to leave. Me being the butthead that I am, I invited them to sit on the porch and offered them some tea as it was a hot summer day. My wife glowered at me knowing what those two were in for. After getting the tea we sat and chatted about how god was all great and all powerful and all knowing. They seemed curious about how I knew just about everything they were speaking about. I regaled them with my history with the church and god and then sprung it on them that I am an atheist, and they were aghast! So we picked some popular verses and themes and put them up to the light. I could see they were shaken and not used to being taught by a heathen. I think one of them had more doubts than her friend and what I was saying was resonating with her.
As they left they effusively said I was the most gracious host they had had in several weeks, saying most people, particularly those who would claim religion, were rude and hateful and awfully opinionated.
Never saw them again but I hope I reached one of them.

I used to invite them in when I was a teenager. I saw it as a form of community service. If I could keep them at my house long enough, they wouldn't be able to harass my neighbors. When my neighbors found out, they started paying me by inviting me for a bbq. As a teenager, this was more valuable than money to me.
One time, they came knocking on my college dorm building. I invited them to come in and join in the impeding orgy (I wish). One of them just stood there with his mouth hung open. My friend was behind me, saw it all and said "yeah, I can work with that mouth position, you're in." We didn't see them on campus after that for some reason.

Haven't gone that far as yet but when the JeHos used to door-knock during the very hot Aussie Summertimes, ( days with the temps. reaching in the high 30's - mid 40's Celsius and dragging their poor little kids along with them) I'd answer the door with glasses of icy cold water for the kids.
The adults would look at the kids gulping down their cold water and ask me " Where is our water to drink?"
My reply was usually either, " Pray for it and Jehovah will provide it, won't he," or, "It's in the garden tap over there, help yourself."
Their usual response to using the garden tap was, " But the water will be hot or warm, we want a cold drink, why are you giving the children a cold drink and none to us?"
I'd answer quietly and simply with, " I detest anyone who drags children out in the summer heat just to preach or go door to door, that's child abuse in my opinion,so I'm punishing YOU because your God won't."

The couple of times they have come to my door I have told them I am an Atheist and they politely left.

They frequently rock up with their kids in tow. Maybe they think they're less likely to be abused. Anyway, when they bring their kids I start explaining to the kids about the delusion of a god being like adult father xmas. They leave pretty quick then and don't come back. I think my house is blackballed now

I love it when they come by. I'll talk your dick in the dirt, as the expression goes. They usually leave after a few minutes. They can't stand atheists and agnostics. They just want to feel proud of themselves for going out and trying to bring us into the fold. They want to find some poor broken soul to bring in and get the praise of their cult leader and others for bringing someone to church (or getting more donations in the offering plate; that's not what they would say if asked, but yeah, that's what they're doing)!

I have a bookcase near the door, right in their face if they step just inside. Their eyes automatically scan for Bibles, and start finding them. And then they start noticing some of the other books, and start to look nervous.

Hey, we gotta have fun where we can right?

I've not had the opportunity to actually do it, because they don't come knocking in Canada. But, it would be an act of kindness to invite them in and carefully dismantle their beliefs using street epistemology. Their indoctrination will otherwise keep them locked in metaphorical cages.

I will say, "is there anything I could say to you that would change your mind?" Then I will say, "there is nothing you could possibly say to me that would change mine, so let's not waste each other's time. We both have better things to do."

What do you get if you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an Anglican.

Somebody that keeps knocking on your door for no particular reason

When someone knocks on my door uninvited they get whatever I feel like dishing out. I owe them nothing.

You are evil, h e, he.

With today's virus, I don't even answer the door.

I used to. It amused me on occasion.
I really don't have the time for it anymore, and they rarely venture out here.
The houses are too far apart to make it worth their time.

Although, I did have a JW call me on the phone last Saturday.
It was a New York number, and thought maybe it was a friend with a new phone, so
I answered it.
Imagine my surprise. Guess the pandemic has forced them to improvise.

I told her I was an atheist, and she gasped. Then I told her to take me off their list,
and hung up.

Usually, when they're done with me they think that I am the antichrist riding in on the sled behind the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. I never let them in my house though.

I do. Just before the pandemic I ended a year long, once a week "bible study" with a nice young JW couple. Suffice it to say, I learned a lot about their beliefs

Most Jw will not engage theses days they will direct you to there web sight or ask you to go to their meetings. I was once approached by a mormon they where very active in the town i was living in then and most people gave them a very wide berth. One thought up an idea to get people talking he asked them what he could do in the evening as he was new to town. Oh boy i thought this is fun. I asked if he liked meeting interesting people he said yes i said people who like an intelligent discussion in a civilize manner. I said if he met me that evening i would take him to my local pub where there was a ale festival and lots of interesting people to talk to and i could introduce him to the bar maid as she was young single and very attractive. He shot off very quickly.

I generally don't want to I am often quite rude (they are on my property they can take their chances) I don't want to waste my time and effort on a worthless task.

Around here, near Mexico, the door to door folks are usually looking for Spanish speakers. I’m not sure but I think they’re trying to prey on folks who are feeling weak and already probably already have a catholic background. I tell them I’m a non Spanish speaking atheist of Jewish heritage and they move on but if they want to talk and if I have time then I do. It’s a chance to meet folks.

I heard a story once about someone I knew who was gay and how he led on the local Mormons because he enjoyed flirting with them. In the end I’m not sure if anyone got converted, or to what.

In general if I am just relaxing at home, I talk to them, and use wall of arguments to get them confused, I might have implanted some doubts in some of them.
Now that I have the certificates from FSM church I might try to convert them next time =)

15 years ago my Rastafarianboyfriend almost got the JW to come in and smoke a bowl with with us.

I am an emancipated Mormon. One day they knocked Right before diner, so I asked if they wanted to join us, they did. when it became clear we were a “no sale” they needed to go home by curfew.

The diner was more of a cultural exchange that fell flat.

i would but i don't wear clothing in the house so i don't answer the door. anyone who has business with me can call first and if i want to see them i can find a shmata to slap on.

g

I love doing this, and so does my daughter. Makes me a very proud dad.

When missionaries talk to me, I read the literature they give me and listen to what they say. Then I demand facts and evidence to back up their claims. I also point out the weaknesses in their arguments. Often, when I do this, they say "Goodbye" forever. Sometimes they hang on for a while, trying to "reason" with me, but I point out their logical fallacies and explain why I am an atheist. They eventually give up on me. I hope I have planted a seed of doubt, and that it will help them come to a realization of the truth.

I used to have a NO SOLICITING sign on my porch. I had several folded paper hand-outs to give these special morons. The front would say no soliciting... They would assure me they were not trying to sell me anything. I asked them to unfold the paper to read the definition of "soliciting"... Then they got it.

Now I have a 1/4 mile long driveway with a NO TRESSPASSING - NO EXCEPTIONS that keeps people out. Hell... The UPS guy is even afraid to come up here!