Ohio Republicans Pass 'Guns For Teachers' Law

Ohio Republican Gov. Mike DeWine has just signed House Bill 99 into law, permitting teachers to carry a gun to class after just 24 hours of firearms training, compared with the more than 700 hours previously required. This is in contrast to the 180 hours teachers need to renew their teaching licenses.

Hell, I say forget arming the damn teachers, what they really need to do is arm all the kids. Just think about it. I mean, what could be more frightening for a potential school shooter, than to come face-to-face with 25 or 30 super hyped-up kindergarten kids, all packing fully-loaded Glocks? Why, maybe instead of physical education, they could hold “High Noon” style shootouts in school hallways?

Now, you can call me old-fashioned, but I always assumed teachers were there to teach, not act as armed security guards. Are we seriously expecting a 55-year-old biology teacher to go full Rambo on a shooter? On the other hand, I suppose even teachers barely trained in handling weapons, probably couldn't do much worse than the cops did at Uvalde elementary school a little while back.

Of course, to Republicans - books are far more dangerous than guns. They don’t seem to mind a world with school kids shouting to classmates, “Hey Tommy, cover me! I’m headed to English class!” But sure, 24 hours of gun training oughta do it. Hell, Ohio requires 1800 hours of training, just to work as a friggin barber. Of course, as we all know, guns can jam - so it might be a good idea to also consider offering classes in knife throwing.

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