Ok so I have no interest whatsoever in talking most people. Occasionally I’ll come across someone with similar interests that I enjoy conversing with but rarely. So my question is should I try change? (Which requires a lot of uncomfortable effort) or just accept the way I am? What do my fellow introverts do?
It depends on what you want, I think. If you are feeling lonely and would like to try to find more friends, then trying to meet with and converse with more people is essential for that. If you are happy the way you are, and don't feel that you are missing anything in your life, then don't change. There is nothing wrong with being introverted, except for the fact that others don't understand it.
One morning I woke up and realized I had little to nothing in common with my oldest friends. The people I associate with most these days are those with whom I share a common interest. In my case it's dancing, so my "dance buddies" are the perfect friends. The chatter is minimal because we're on the dance floor most of the time. If you keep moving, you don't have to hear about anyone's grandchildren, home improvement projects or the minutiae of their day. Works for me.
I can definitely sympathize with that. I Only have one friend I can truly relate to and be myself around, but we rarely get together. So I’m on a mission, no matter how uncomfortable, to find some like minded friends to hang around. ?
I engage others on social media and find it rewarding, but these people are far away and can't assist me as a support system in my every day life. For the past two years I have stepped outside my comfort zone to engage others. I'm less lonely and have people who I can count on. Being single, this is so important to me.
Very true. Finding this site and realizing I’m not so strange has helped immensely?
There's no need to change at all, especially as you sound happy with your life. As Jean Paul Sarte said:'Hell is other people', and I think he got it right.
I’m in hell right now! My coworkers are having a discussion on “if angels ? fly with wings or just fly” Help!!! If only there was a pill for stupidity.
You can't change, but you can adapt. Pick and choose who you want to talk to. Challenge yourself to move beyond your comfort zone, but be aware of how much you can manage and don't force it. And don't feel you have to compete with anyone or you're some how "less than" because you don't socialize as much as someone else.
Excellent advice.?
I’ve always known I’m introverted but never researched what it actually is. Im not sure it’s something that I need to change? but I think my social anxiety side definitely magnifies it and needs to be addressed. So I have some learning to do.
@Charl5 There's no reason to suppose that there is anything inherently wrong with being introverted, in fact, it has many advantages. Some people seem to think it's synonymous with shyness, but it isn't the same thing. I see it as being uninterested in idle talk, with a preference for thoughtful consideration before interacting.
I'm proud of my introvertness(a word??). But I also love good conversation when it can be found. Not a social butterfly but I do like people, generally, but not all the time by far. My quick 2cts, don't change, even if you could. Still waters run deep and introverts are cool.
The word that your looking for is introversion.
Don’t ever change to become part of the “norm.”
As an introvert, I am very selective in who I converse with. At times I may become involved in a fascinating conversation with a stranger, but I feel safe knowing I’ll never see them again. My few dearest friends know that we may have the most beautiful conversations, but are also aware that they may not here from me for long periods of time.
Accept who you are. Any true friend will cherish that. Life is to short to force yourself to be someone you’re not just to fit into society. Just be you
I feel the same as you, but what I am trying is to be able at least to be able to be social when it is needed. In many ways we need people around us, and they will decide based on sociability if they will or not be available.
So, yes for my POV the effort is valid, we are a social species, our power is in the capacity to socialize. Modern society has dealt with this (automatizing the organization) but there are many situations (most of them that we cannot foresee) that we will need people around.
If you live close to family or friends you can have a safety net already in place, but if you start moving far away or loosing contact you can become dangerously alone.
Yes I’m lucky I have a great family I’m close to. I just need to find some like minded friends. Finding this site has been a relief ?
I used to believe that there was something wrong with me before I knew what introverts were. Now, I understand fully that I'm just different and if people can't accept me the way I am, then I don't need them in my life. I don't plan on changing who I am to please other people.
I hate small talk, but can usually find a topic of interest to converse on if I have to. Be yourself - immerse yourself in what interests you. There’s no way everyone is going to like you or vice versa. As Dr. Seuss said - those that matter don’t care, and those that care don’t matter
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