In previous relationships, I did have emotional affairs with older women. More than a few took it further and told me that they would have been more intimate if they had the chance. I had these moments because I was not happy at the time.

My girlfriend and I do not shy away from letting the other one know if we see someone we find attractive. Sometimes, during sex, we'll even pretend [openly] that we're doing it with someone else.

Cheating implies one partner in a relationship does something with a third person that the other partner dislikes. I shall not attempt to enumerate the variety of possible actions that people dislike. Rather, I shall give a few examples to illustrate the futility of enumerating things people dislike. A voyeur may like to watch their partner have sex with a stranger in public, but most people would dislike such behavior. A paranoid narcissist may dislike their partner seeing anyone or being seen by anyone. So, Marcus, emotional cheating is whatever you define it to be.

In my opinion, I should enjoy my partner enjoying life, but I am human and sometimes overwhelmed by emotion for irrational reasons. I have buttons that make me insecure, and I have been jealous and enraged, just once. I loathe that moment of my life 50 years ago. She was sleeping with another man, when I walked in, and we later split up. My expectations for an intimate relationship changed from childish fantasy towards adult realism, I'm still learning about my partner of 35 years and our relationship. In that 35 years, the green eyed monster, the one I loathe, has not bothered me. I've tried to kill it.

I would not find flirting to be emotional cheating. To me, emotional cheating would entail bonding and having shared romantic intimacy with another person over a long period of time (ie longer than a few encounters) behind my back. If it is kept secret, the person knows they are doing something wrong otherwise just be open about it. I would feel disrespected if my romantic partner flirted in front of me. But anyone that is with me knows I do not tolerate disrespect and they would be getting called out or cussed off for that behaviour. I have done it in the past with an ex who become emotionally and psychologically distant and neglectful... in retrospect he was clearly depressed and not in a state to be in a healthy relationship, as he was isolating. Doesn't make what I did any better, just letting ya know the whys behind it.

Too many look upon partners as owned chattels to be controlled and not allowed share their thoughts & particularly their bodies..

Every partner I've ever had has flirted with other guys. Is that what you're talking about here?

An open relationship with Complete trust does not normally have problems with jealousy over someone’s emotional cheating (flirtation/thoughts of another ). I am more than willing to point out pretty girls to my partner. Honesty and trust effectively reduce any jealousy to almost nil.

My late partner loved to flirt and did it all the time. She had a miserable previous marriage for 25 years and wanted to have fun. A true, committed relationship requires trust and I actually was flattered at her flirting with others.

problem is communication...what I'm about, what you're about, how we feel about each other...love and sex, neither are zero-sum...

Basically, emotional affairs occur when one partner is channeling physical or emotional energy, time and attention into someone other than the person they are in a committed relationship with to the point that their partner feels neglected.

Never experienced it myself...