It never was like that. He took me on dates, held my hand, I slept over many times, we watched TV/movies together... And, he always made it clear that he wanted us to be monogamous.

@MrsAlwaysRight he wanted (wants) You to be monagamous.......truly, are you that desperate?

@AnneWimsey
I will speak for me.
If I really liked someone, I would be desperate. It is a good feeling in wanting somone. It does not happen to people in our age range often.

@St-Sinner Bah Humbug, baby! Still gotta be smart & have self-respect, otherwise how pathetic can you get?!

@AnneWimsey
I am always desperate for good people. They are hard to find.

@St-Sinner Desperation is not my idea of a good feeling or a good relationship. I've learned the hard way that attachment, especially strong emotional attachment, comes with stress, fear, longing, etc. It took me a long time, but I've learned how to love and still be free.

Not at all. Friends with benefits are actually friends. So that even if the benefits are gone, the friendship remains. How you envision and practice friendship may differ from me. But my friends are emotional support and we can come to one another for help and support. The person genuinely cares about you as a person. Whereas a fck buddy it's just sex and then you go your separate ways and don't get enmeshed in each other's lives beyond sex.

@AnneWimsey I don't think him wanting us to be monogamous makes me desperate. I can attest to the fact that more than likely I was the only woman he's been with in the past year. I do believe he had a fear of commitment that I eventually pushed the envelope on after a while when I got tired of the FWB title. He made the choice that, even with his apprehension, he would rather commit and be with me than lose me all together.

A relationship was never our end goal, but we both fell in love. When we're together, he's sweet, and he dotes on me. I just hate the in between time because without the contact, I feel like I don't cross his mind. However, on some level, I know he does care about me deeply, and I reciprocate the same. I don't think there's anything "desperate" about that.

@MrsAlwaysRight Ah yes, the oldest Law of Love: Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

He's my neighbor, so I can tell it isn't much. I just feel like I always need to take initiative if I want to see him.

@MrsAlwaysRight is that a feeling you enjoy?

@AnneWimsey Not really. Sometimes I'm unsure if he's uninterested, or afraid to make the first move. I can attest to the fact that if I do initiate a date, he's always eager to see me. ALWAYS! If I just show up, he's more than happy to invite me in for a drink and ask me to stay the night, it whatever the case might allow.

Oh man the always taking the initiative thing gets old. I had to constantly take initiative with an ex or Wed hardly talk or see each other! He was super introverted even by my standards. Now I just tell guys that they gotta take the initiative too cuz I can't do it all the time anymore.

I have, but he says he's just not good at being attentive. He says that's something women in other relationships complained about. I wonder if it's an excuse... Maybe I should take it as a red flag.

@MrsAlwaysRight
Not necessarily as a red flag. People are individually very different. They have their styles. All you need to find out is his honesty. If I thought a woman was honest and I liked her but she does not meet me often, I will understand that she has her reasons but would stick with her. Good people are hard to find. When he said other women have complained about his quietness or being less communicative, it seems that he is showing a shade of honesty there.

Yes, but he doesn't text much, and he seems stuck on his own routine.

@MrsAlwaysRight he can't make a phone call?

@Cutiebeauty My thoughts exactly, but I do know it's something he rarely does period. It's just who he is. He never turns me away if I go to him. He responds to my texts. However, I feel like I am the one putting in most of the effort to contact first.

@MrsAlwaysRight OK, I understand that.. If that's the way he is, you need to decide if you're OK with that.. From the other comments in this thread, it seems he's not cheating or doing anything nefarious, right? So, maybe he has rejection issues and feels more comfortable with you making first contact.. Maybe reassure him that you will be there for him if he calls?

There is a change. In fact, we decided to be "official", but I don't feel like we're very official. Not sure if I'm expecting too much.

@MrsAlwaysRight No, you aren't expecting too much. It's what you want in a relationship, and maybe he needs to hear the specifics of that. From your other responses, it seems this isn't unfamiliar territory to him, so perhaps a compromise can be reached that you're both comfortable with. Perhaps he takes life at a different pace and other obligations are taking up his time.