Yes, yes and more yes!

I'd say I tend to agree. I know that when some feel their feelings of love they get protective of it and want to guard it and consequently own it also. This means they think they need to put controls on it and what seems like obvious rules that we should want to easily agree with. The thinking that we must obviously feel the same way if we love is the central illusion of unpracticed love. Not until a person finds that their description of love most likely is different than mine. Is there a real chance for us to now sit down and begin to discuss our ideal visions of what we each call love. . This is still a far cry from the point where they will begin to consider that our loves can reconcile when there are differences instead of panicking the moment our ideals don't verbally match up.
This is the foolish way I describe anyway. A mature way is to start out discussing these important topics to find if there are important factors of comparability in our discussions of us. If we don't agree on central ideas of morality . What it is to be free. What we call success in life and what ideals are important to us. Then I doubt very strongly that our ideas of love will be finally compatible. And mature love can realize that without judgment and move on without such feelings of loss that immature love always finds when it doesn't find it's version of love reflected back at it . This is my thinking on the topic anyhow

My perspective on this is different. I don't demonize dependence, because I actually think it is the core of our greatest strength, though it does need to be developed and matured. I think there is a developmental arc from the true dependence of childhood, to the independence of adolescence and early adulthood, to the interdependence of the truly mature - the ability to both participate in- and leverage the strength of others. Sure there can be the hiccup of co-dependence along the way in dysfunctional situations, and that can be hard to differentiate from interdependence. But nevertheless, interdependence is the core of our evolutionary advantage. It's not survival of the fittest individual, but the survival of the most cooperative species. Maybe it's because I have a background in computers, but I see parallel processing as much, much more powerful than independent processing. However, in order to leverage parallel processing, there has to be a networking protocol. What is that protocol? It is human emotional bonds. Yes, I said bonds. Osho might call all bonds a kind of bondage, but that is because he is an expert on independence. Yet he has not yet attained the truer enlightenment of interdependence.

Word

How true. You only have to compare fledgling birds to children on achieving maturity - one leaves the nest not looking back, the other usually clings on - mothers to children and children to both parents if available.