Hi, I'm new to this group, relatively new to agnostic.. I don't get on all that often, not online daily. So, re: intimacy. I'd like to hear what anybody thinks on the following topic. Science has shown that sex releases chemicals that foster bonding and attachment. I heard an interview on NPR with an "expert." Her recommendation, don't sleep with someone you don't want to get attached to. That being said, many people are now into the hook-up. I see it is an option on this site, and many people have selected it. I myself am not built that way, partly due to my upbringing, partly my nature (highly sensitive), and partly due to early childhood trauma.
I know a lot of our sexual mores are cultured, and many are based on religious beliefs, but evolutionary psychology and other disciplines show there is much more to it than that.
I once read a very interesting book, Cupid's Poison Arrow, the author argues that we have 2 different evolutionary processes at work, one the above mentioned attachment neurobiology created with intimacy/sex, and another evolutionary neurobiology that encourages us to get bored after successful mating, to cause us to seek many couplings to ensure progeny.
I personally believe for me, a lifelong monogamous relationship would be healing, although at my age, I doubt it will ever happen, because it seems few men my age are interested in the same.
By the way, I truly wish I were built differently, as I am fascinated by polyamory as a way to get more of ones emotional needs met, but I don't think I have the sex drive to ever meet the needs of other polys, haha, even if I could somehow participate in such relationships. Anyway, interested to see how people respond.