What I heard you say is that your partner "gave you that power" to make them feel things. So ultimately the choice was hers on whether she would feel things.

@Nukdookum Yes, but once the power was given, then I can indeed make her feel. It's also difficult to revoke once given. It might have been an initial "choice" (though people often do it without thinking or do it reflexively) but once done, it's hard to unring the bell. For a comparison, think about the power most people's mothers have to push their buttons. It's legendary. Of course, they usually built the buttons in the first place...

@ejbman Obviously you want to think you have that power. Consider this set of scenarios.

Scenario 1: You have found that bringing your partner daffodils "makes" her happy. You come home and present her your daffodils and she does indeed become happy.

Scenario 2: You bring home daffodils and present them to your partner. Unfortunately, she just got word that her aunt died, the one who loved daffodils which informed your partner's love of the same flower. The reaction to receiving the flowers in this case is not happiness.

Now, if you were indeed "making" your partner feel a certain way, then your actions which are the same in both scenarios should have the same results. Since the results are different, that means the feelings are not being "made" by you, they are being "made" by the person feeling them.

I have lots of comments. I even have some real world recent examples in my own personal experience. Anything specific you were looking for?

@irascible 'tis but a flap of skin and as it is not at the time affording you pleasure the only logical reaction can be, and only if relevant, "I'm not getting enough and not satiated".
No one owns or has the right to own another.

@irascible Would someone who advocates murdering pedo priests be an incel?

@irascible tongue in cheek question. The comment follows an difference of an opinion that I had with a woman here on site who made the comment and then got rude and personal when I challenged her.

@irascible Message in response.

Yes. They all are part of who we are as humans. The point of the article I think is that when jealousy happens, because it will, instead of focusing on external reasons and negativity, the focus should be on internal reasons and growth. Once one has determined why the feelings of jealousy are present, if it's because of an actual impact personally then one has a discussion with their partner to insure that the source gets resolved. If instead the jealousy is simply an internal feeling then one should try to overcome those irrational fears.

@Nukdookum That is a lot to overcome. At least for me it would be

@GreatNani obviously within any relationship jealousy had to be dealt with at the pace of the participants. It has taken me over a decade to put these things in practice and I still fall under the spell of jealousy. It's not something that can be overcome in a month or a year. It is a journey.

Jealousy is always present and no matter how one was raised it can and will raise it's ugly head on occasion. You cannot eliminate it from your life. All you can do is learn how to deal with it when it comes.

Society might be a whole lot less neurotic? hmmmmmm Do you think something like that could ever even be possible given mankind's propensity to own/control what he can?? Think about the words we all say in the traditional marriage vows.....talk about an iron clad deal - wow.

@Lavergne - Homosapiens are a deeply flawed species.

@Lavergne - I just hope that what ever species replaces us will be smarter and wiser