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What may anyone here think about the aspect of hookups if one's partner is sexless?

gpspirit34009 5 Oct 12
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15 comments

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0

I suggest a sex worker. You run the risk of falling for your FWB or vica versa (sp?).

I would seek counseling for you and your partner. I found there were often differences in libido with partners and there are ways to be sexy and intimate without penetration. Maybe she'd be open to cuddling while you masturbate or watching porn with you?

sapiofile Level 5 Nov 19, 2018
0

I think maybe you should explore the swing lifestyle together as a catalyst for communicating your needs, then see where it goes. Just being in that atmosphere lubricates the mind. Just be sure to share boundaries and intentions first.

3

Be mindful of everyone's feelings. You do not live in a vacuum.

4

As long as everyone involved knows what is happening and has consented to it, then by all means. Love isn't a zero sum game.

Nukdookum Level 8 Oct 13, 2018
3

There is a difference between "cheating" and "open relationship".

As long as there's honesty and understanding in a relationship, things can be very flexible.

camne Level 7 Oct 13, 2018
3

I am a people person I can love someone else too.

3

I'm open to the concept.

4

As long as the sexless person doesn't want to hold a monopoly over the partner's sexlife.

2

if the person has a descent kitchen or good tools ...

5

I think it depends on your partner..
There is nothing wrong with pursuing happiness as long as you don't hurt another person.. if your partner is fully aware and ok with it, then you should try it.

hippydog Level 8 Oct 12, 2018
5

It depends on the relationship. If things are in the open and both partners are okay with it, I see no problem.

Cabsmom Level 8 Oct 12, 2018

That sounds easy, but I think it will be challenging for both partners, unless they are angry at one another. In that case, divorce is probably best; although, economics may make that difficult. If they still lover each other, the dynamic of adding a third will be challenging IMO.

@EdEarl, that's why I said I'd both are okay with it. It's not a situation for everyone.

@Cabsmom True

4

I will not do FWB. I don't like to share, you're committed elsewhere. I want all or none.

agree. i'm monogamous and want a similar partner.

The "friends" part of "friends with benefits" is just another euphemism. All too often, there's no real friendship involved.

@ailurophile And you hit the nail squarely on the head! Thank you!

@HippieChick58 You're welcome! I meant to write "A euphemism within a euphemistic phrase", but had already hit "reply"and needed to get cat food before the store closed.

3

I think it makes sense. But it can be risky. Who knows what outcome can happen with hookups.

Sydland Level 7 Oct 12, 2018
3

hook-ups work for many...I would try for FWB, or even an open poly arrangement...

@LetzGetReal key phrase is "when one's partner is sexless"...if they still care for one another, seems sexless one shouldn't insist the other follow suit...

@seattlepanda If they made a monogamous commitment, then that committment should be honored. If the partner who wants sex regardless wants to renegotiate the terms of their commitment, then more power to them. If the other partner does not, then that's their prerogative. I know from personal experience that masturbation is a form of sex, and close to 100% STD/STI-free.

@LetzGetReal Polymorphic? I don't understand your meaning.

Bisexuality doesn't necessarily mean that a bisexual person won't be monogamous or prefers non-monogamy.

3

find out before you leap

TheDoubter Level 9 Oct 12, 2018
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