Going in with open eyes is far less painful than being blind sided. You know the possibilities. Can you really decide not to risk having such joy for as long as it manifests? I adopt old dogs who I know will pass sooner than I would want. Making their lives as joyfilled for the time they have remaining is far more rewarding than not having them pass thru my existence. Enter knowing you will have to let go. Immerse yourself with the knowledge that you could bring the same joy to him. Shall we forgo joy because it is fleeting?

I have health issues—multiple, complicated, and potentially fatal. I don’t allow myself to become romantically involved because I don’t think it’s fair to the other person. My BFFs say that’s the other person’s choice to make. It’s hard enough thinking about the emotional stress my health causes my mom, son, besties, and other family. I’m just not comfortable subjecting anyone new to that.

Tomorrow is promised to no one. I'd have a hard time letting go of someone who clicked on so many levels.
I don't think I could walk away.

Horrible as it was and always will be some of my most treasured moments in 20 years with my husband was when he was ill. Maybe I was lucky, he was not mean or nasty despite the depth of his suffering. Some of the sweetest things he ever said to me were within the week of his death.

Do not stop passionately loving him.

If I were him, I'd never put someone in this situation knowing well you're going to get hurt in the end. That's so selfish. You need to be the strong one and cease the relationship from going any further than just friendship. Why do this to yourself? Don't let your emotions take over your logical thinking.

Sometimes people are on their exceptional behavior - because they know how vulnerable they really are. Time will tell (but 9 months sounds like he solidly passed the test...)
Your question to yourself is: if he were to pass in one year, would the 21 months of this good loving - been worth it. ..

Love takes risk. Go for it.

Better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all.

Thank you, all, for sharing your thoughts and experiences especially those who shared their own losses. I appreciate your candor and support.

They got dealt a bad health hand. It's adding insult to injury if you withdraw your love from them to avoid being hurt yourself. They have taken a big chance trusting you and telling you about their health issues. Can't unring that bell. If you really care for them, don't overthink it. Just enjoy whatever time is given and help them be strong to face their daunting future.

If it was me, I would regret any missed time with that person.I do not know which would be worse losing someone or regretting not doing something for the rest of my life.

To me, I would rather have loved and lost than not have loved at all. HOWEVER... It would be devastating to me if the chronic illness was acquired and preventable. I'm talking about things like alcoholism. it would be very difficult if not impossible for me to be happy if I watch someone self-destruct. I would be devastated if I lost them to a chronic condition that was not within their control, but could be accepting.

I lost my mom and dad when I was 10 yrs old... My grandparents took me in, then they passed when I was 22 . I nearly went nuts both times. This is not be the same type of relationship but personally I wouldn't be able to do it. It's your choice though.. My opinion only.. Hugs..

From my perspective life is uncertain. None of us knows how long we have or what tragedies will befall us. The loss of a loved one is a terrible feeling and I wouldn't want to wish that utterly devastating pain upon anyone. I have grieved for losses in my life in the past and can only imagine the level of pain to grieve the passing of a spouse. I have grieved the ending of relationships and there have been moments when I have questioned the reasons for moving forward with my life because of that loss. I have always, when it's all said and done, come to the conclusion that no matter how devastating the pain, the happiness that I gained from the relationship up until that loss was worth it.

I think life is random. No matter what you do there will be some happiness and some pain. You can try to avoid the pain of a relationship ending but you cannot avoid all pain. By avoiding the relationship because of the pain that it will cause when it ends you also avoid the happiness that would have filled your life as a result. For me, whatever happiness I can get out of this lifetime I will do everything in my power to create happy moments whenever and however I can. Yes that also means that there will be pain when those relationships end for me. If I get a week worth of happiness and memories which ends in a month of pain and emotional anguish, the happiness was worth it. If I get a year of happiness which ends in another year of grief then the happiness was worth it. I think it is up to each individual to decide how much happiness they need to make the greif worth it.

do what your heart dictates but be mentally prepared for possible heartache

Enjoy what you have instead of worry about you may lose. Nothing last forever. Who really knows if he is going to die first?

Live each day as if it were the last. Be a Stoic, embrace the love and be prepared to take the pain if it comes. Death is the ultimate slap-down, but if we cower in its shadow we miss the richness of living. Treasure the moments and make every one count.

I think that while the loss would be shattering, the cost of walking away from something genuine would probably be more than you realize. You have potentially years of real love ahead of you. Do you really want to forfeit that because there may come a painful point? You could date someone perfectly healthy and tragedy could strike unexpectedly. Are you going to remain alone so that doesn't happen?

Wow, that's heavy. I have no advice. Just sending you warmest of vibes.

Someone who is a lot smarter than me said "tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". If you walk away now, you will be haunted forever by the "what if's" and "if only's".....
Try to remember that we are ALL just passing thru - none of us know what our expiration date is. I'm sure you will make the right decision....