I think intimacy is over and under rated.

For one, when you are a you need to experience respect, intimacy, love and trust in order to learn how it works, how it looks and feels like and what it does for you, gives you a sense of self respect, confidence and self esteem to love yourself and others. But most of us don't get to experience any of these because it has not been an important part of bringing up a in our society, instead we are taught to follow orders and respect authority in order to get us ready for the world, instead of getting us ready for life by considering our human needs in the realm of emotional development which helps us learn who we are, identify what we need as humans and how to get them met without question, which is learned only through the experiences mentioned above. Sure... Sometimes we get bits and pieces of it from others around us, baby sitter, nanny, grandmother, aunts, etc. but to be able to experience respect, intimacy, love and trust on a daily basis growing up creates a person who knows how to love and be loved and not have to ask how.

Because most of us haven't had the full experience of intimacy, and yet because we are human, we desire it, we don't quite know how to attain it except by what we have learned in the media (tv, movies, etc.) which sets up ideals of what it is and not the reality of what it is. For instance many of us have learned that love and intimacy is and it happens quickly, you meet and you fall in love, have , and that's intimacy, but we don't know the other person and we soon find out that they don't know us either, nor do you really like one another. It was a fantasy that brought you together and the same fantasy, partially lived (as much as one can continue to hold their breath and pretend its all working out the way its supposed to but its not), is what breaks you apart. In other words, it felt real because of what we learned to believe it to be, but it wasn't and our expectations take us down a rode of elusive experiences. (Mind you, this is for us broken people.)

So, if you have never really experienced real intimacy and love, how do you do so when you are an adult?
Do you find someone who has and they show you?
Or do you do a lot of therapy and go to a lot of 12 step groups and do your best to find healing through systems that have no intimacy to share with you and show you how it feels and how it is done in relating with others, not just love relationships.

Seriously want to know other's views, experiences, and opinions on this.

Thanks