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Does the weather affect your grief? Now that the weather's turned cold, and especially today while we're having an ice storm, I just absolutely ache for his presence. I keep looking at his chair, hoping he'll materialize. This sucks.

ProudMary 8 Nov 15
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0

The cool down, color change, and scents of autumn always remind me of our short cancer battle, even when I do not consciously calendar watch. In that sense, weather is a bit of a trigger.

Zster Level 8 Nov 20, 2018

@ProudMary 89 days. Aug 4 to Oct 30. The last week he walked upstairs to shower on Tuesday, Was a quadriplegic Thursday, and gone by 2AM Saturday. I never knew malignant cells could spread so fast! I am deeply sorry that you had to learn that as well.

2

I'm not sure if it is the weather or just all the triggers piling up. She died in October, then there are all the holidays and forced cheerfulness to remind me she is gone, along with all that cheerful, jolly fucking Christmas music. Then there is her birthday and Valentines, just to give the screw one final twist. It's getting better, but I still don't love this time of year.

1

Yes, there are always reminders and such little inconsequential events can trigger a strong memory.

Kojaksmom Level 8 Nov 17, 2018
1

There doesnt seem to be one particular thing that tends to hit me. Something as simple as picking a scrap of paper off the floor. He always did stuff like that. Seeing a couple bicker or play at the store. Of course, a song. His way of motivating me to get shit done. Way, way back when I was single, I never made my bed. I would just crawl under the pile of clothes & blankets & go to sleep. He would make the bed if I just got up to pee. It used to really piss me off. I worked nights so I would sleep later than him. I thought that he thought that I should get up. Come to find out that he wanted me to be able to get into a nice comfortable made bed! I make my bed every morning for him. I`m not very good at picking up scraps of paper off the floor, but, just seeing them makes me ache.

Della Level 6 Nov 16, 2018
1

I sadly understand everyone’s input. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through and I’ve been through a lot. My son says mom you are strong / no this has kind kicked my butt.Been getting involved ( trying) with things that interest me. But fel I’m just going through the motions.

Gypsy494 Level 7 Nov 15, 2018
1

I've found I need a heating pad to warm my booty during the cold months. We used to joke that it was a good thing he was such a warm person, so I'd keep him around when he messed up. Turns out it was an important service he provided.

1

Strangely its more the summer on a hot late august day at the cottage & beach - the place she loved above all else.

2

Yes, when it gets cold, I miss warming her up in bed, I miss her cold feet, her cold nose and arms. I miss having her frozen bum startling me from my warm slumber as she would snuggle into my groin when she returned to bed after a pee.
Now I have a warm new home and no one to steal the covers from or snore in the ear of. No one to kiss, laugh with, be annoyed by, make love to and be in love with...
I am still alive, and have things to do and people to be alive for.

Sofabeast Level 7 Nov 15, 2018
1

The dark days seemed to affect me until I bought a UV spectrum alarm lamp, now not so much

@ProudMary Not sure the lamp I have is like daylight and I set it for an hour before I'm due out of bed

@ProudMary Got to be worth trying

0

I'm not sure if it's the weather, or if it's just remembering things we did when the weather turns colder, but the last few days have been rough for me too. Plus I just got back from Nebraska and seeing Richards family and friends. I have been more tearful than I had been for the last few days. I hope it passes soon.

@ProudMary I understand completely ProudMary. We just have to let the feelings come, they are natural feelings, and quite normal. My grief counselor told me there will be days that are harder than others, and to just go with the flow and embrace the good memories as much as possible. I hope the sadness passes quickly for you.

0

no. with me, grief is unaffected by weather

TheDoubter Level 9 Nov 15, 2018
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