Yes there are those times when the grief and loneliness can overwhelm us. Even though it has been almost 5 years since cancer took my wife those feelings well up and over take me from time to time. And regardless of the support of family and friends the feelings grip and hold me.
But, as you know, time will pass and the strength of the feeling will subside and you will return to what has become normal for you. In the meantime take the time you need and accept the support of those who care for you. And know that you are not alone in these feelings.

It's been even longer for me, and there are still set-backs. I think there always will be. This time I think it's because I was pulling out Christmas decorations and came across the stocking my mother cross-stitched for him. I don't hang it or anything, but just seeing it ... I hope whatever triggered you is fleeting.

Find purpose. Do good deeds in homage. Travel. Do your thing. Rejoice & celebrate your loved one. The tears will become less. The pain will not. Embrace the moment & come thru. It will subside.

It could be a sad club if one lets it be. My late partner and I made a pact we would continue on if/when one of us died (she hated the word passed and asked what did they pass - gas?). If there was such a thing as ghosts she would come back and kick my butt if he thought I continued to mourn her death.

It’s a hard club to belong to. I’m grateful there are so many kind and empathetic people on this site. It’s been my refuge since my husband past 17 months ago!

Yup sad club welcome

Im sorry you had to join. I wish you Peace.