How do people find the mental strength to make big life decisions that need to be made when ...

JustKip comments on Dec 10, 2018:

First things first; Sleep! Try chamomile tea, melatonin, or (best of all) the protein L-Theanine, which reduces anxiety AND makes it easier to get restful sleep. Rest, and take care of decision making in the morning.

demifeministgal replies on Dec 12, 2018:

I am already on meds to help me sleep. But thanks

My daughter is such a bitch.

demifeministgal comments on Nov 22, 2018:

I don't think anyone should shame a woman for needing to use narcotics or other substances for pain management. I don't get why mothers have to shit on other mothers for not doing things just as them or being as strong as they were. So glad not to be in the judgey mom club. Childfree living is ...

demifeministgal replies on Nov 25, 2018:

@Wildflower, @Annaleda Who are you to tell me not to comment though? And I have seen other people be actually negative and hostile to depressed members and tell them to buck up and quit complaining.... I am sure you reprimanded them... oh no wait you didn't.

My daughter is such a bitch.

demifeministgal comments on Nov 22, 2018:

I don't think anyone should shame a woman for needing to use narcotics or other substances for pain management. I don't get why mothers have to shit on other mothers for not doing things just as them or being as strong as they were. So glad not to be in the judgey mom club. Childfree living is ...

demifeministgal replies on Nov 25, 2018:

@Wildflower okaaay then sure I am. You just keep telling yourself that. *eye roll

Day before yesterday I woke up at 5 AM.

demifeministgal comments on Nov 19, 2018:

Have you tried doing a sleeping study to see what's wrong? I am doing one soon :D

demifeministgal replies on Nov 21, 2018:

@TheGreatShadow I forget. I am from Canada and forget my American friends must pay out of pocket for all your healthcare needs. :/

This week's lessons learned: 1.

AncientNight comments on Nov 9, 2018:

1. I was in a decades long relationship and haven't dated (except for my wife) since 1974, just don't call me "Mature". 2. I never take my own advice, because I don't think that I can give good enough advice. 3. The cons list would be much shorter than the pros list. 4. I don't even know ...

demifeministgal replies on Nov 11, 2018:

@ProudMary And also add this: 5. Everything's harder when you're dealing with trauma

Alot of people hate me. i hate alot of people. seems fair to me then again i have a heart of stone

shockwaverider comments on Nov 3, 2018:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ Call 211 for community resources. You can probably get free therapy. Seems like you really need it. Good luck.

demifeministgal replies on Nov 3, 2018:

@AwesomeAtheist24 Spoken like a frightened boy that has never tried therapy in his life and is just basing his opinions off of anecdotes or stereotypes. Sad that the ones that need it the most avoid it the hardest.

A fellow train passenger asked me if I was going to contribute children into the world.

LenHazell53 comments on Oct 23, 2018:

Some one tried to start a conversation with you on a train????? How dare he, you should have called the police at once, subjecting you to unwanted civility what an ass.

demifeministgal replies on Oct 23, 2018:

why are you even in this group? Are you the bloody annoying notallmen/whatabouthemen?! resident douche?

Do you believe that a cure for cancer exists, but it's not available to the public because medical ...

KKGator comments on Oct 2, 2018:

While I absolutely believe Big Pharma is basically evil AF, IF there were a cure for cancer, they would stand to make TRILLIONS of dollars. They're too greedy to pass that up.

demifeministgal replies on Oct 16, 2018:

@Bob4Health Which ones did you have in mind? Or do you expect me to read every published article they've ever posted? Do they discuss how often this treatment is used on American cancer patients though? I doubt it is used widespread otherwise there would not be so many cancer deaths in the USA.

Senator Elizabeth Warren has been proven to be a liar! She claimed to be Native American to take ...

starwatcher-al comments on Oct 16, 2018:

Hold on here! Since you get 50% of your DNA from mother and 50% from your father and since you have no control which 50% you get, she can be native by a parent and still not have much or any native DNA. My wife whose grandfather definitely was part Canadian native, and who always thought she had ...

demifeministgal replies on Oct 16, 2018:

Don't try to confuse Trumpsters with logic and facts. They much prefer their repeated delusions instead.

Senator Elizabeth Warren has been proven to be a liar! She claimed to be Native American to take ...

genessa comments on Oct 16, 2018:

she never said she was full-blooded native america. all she said was that her parents told her she had some native american ancestry. it has already been proven that she did not take advantage of affirmative actions laws. she also doesn't just go around saying "i'm an indian, hey look at me, i'm ...

demifeministgal replies on Oct 16, 2018:

@gater You remind me of a blind preacher. You think if you repeat a lie often enough it will somehow become true? Just like your hero Trumpster. Note repetition of falsehoods and delusions does not make them true. Try again

Do you believe that a cure for cancer exists, but it's not available to the public because medical ...

KKGator comments on Oct 2, 2018:

While I absolutely believe Big Pharma is basically evil AF, IF there were a cure for cancer, they would stand to make TRILLIONS of dollars. They're too greedy to pass that up.

demifeministgal replies on Oct 16, 2018:

@Bob4Health Show me the stats on Americans having this treatment used on them to treat their cancers and then you will have a point. As of now all you have is the existence of this technology. Also provide efficacy rates long term if you can. Then we can have a real chat.

When the man is more intelligent

demifeministgal comments on Oct 13, 2018:

Because teaching your sons about consent is too bloody difficult... better to let them go about as sex obsessed beasts with no impulse control and load em up with tech devices... fckng handmaidens :/

demifeministgal replies on Oct 14, 2018:

@Echo7 No. Men that do not understand boundaries or lack emotional intelligence and social cues are afraid. Normal men that were raised right and can and do look out for said cues have nothing to fear. The fact you tried to twist it around to be about the poor men is fckng disgusting. And honestly I would say someone like you need a crash course in affirmative consent as well because your examples demonstrate you are fuzzy on alot of things yourself. Your education system has failed you. :/ The post was clearly about sexual type things for you to deflect and make it about flirting is quite telling. Join an MRA page instead. -_-

The more I hang out (no pun intended, well, may be pun intended) in online forums and participate in...

KateZilla comments on Oct 12, 2018:

Should have put this in Introverts unite group ;-) https://agnostic.com/group/HappilyIntroverted

demifeministgal replies on Oct 13, 2018:

@graceylou perhaps you are an ambivert then! ;)

My foul mood just got worse.

SkotlandSkye comments on Oct 12, 2018:

You need to hire an interview coach and someone to look over your resume.

demifeministgal replies on Oct 12, 2018:

@SkotlandSkye hey let the man vent and be down! Why is it that we demand constant positivity and upbeat bs from people feeling blue? I say let him feel and let him be real without any of your snarky judgement. yeeesh

What is the most disturbing, disgusting or messed up thing someone interested in dating you has ...

hippydog comments on Oct 9, 2018:

One lady from pof . Third day of texting. Started telling me she just got fired and stole her bosses car..

demifeministgal replies on Oct 11, 2018:

@hippydog I don't know I used the paid one, as a free member, and it wasn't AS BAD as POF was. Interestingly I did make a good friend from okcupid from the states and now we are best buddies. :D He is like the male version of me (all the positive traits, with hardly any of the negative ones).

A question for all my female friends: As a woman, do you feel society has achieved gender ...

hippydog comments on Oct 10, 2018:

I'm not female.. sorry.. but one of the things I think holding it back is the younger generation of females who seem to actually believe it's not needed are necessary.. MULTIPLE times I have had young ladies tell me they are against feminism! Wtf??... Think about it.. a white aged cis male ...

demifeministgal replies on Oct 11, 2018:

Some of us do get it. I hope it is a matter of youthful ignorance and with time and sadly, negative experiences, they will wisen up and change their views.

Do you attract a certain type of the opposite sex? Do you have a preferred type?

ShieldMaiden_76 comments on Oct 7, 2018:

I tend to attract: Black men, Country boys, Mexican men, and old men. Don't know what gives. I just like dick, and prefer bigger over smaller. Take that as you will.

demifeministgal replies on Oct 10, 2018:

@ShieldMaiden_76 I just grew up in an African dominated neighbourhood and my high school was mainly latinos, africans and carribbeans. Interestingly, at my high school, I was among the numerical minority as white students were outnumbered. I am glad it worked out that way cuz my immigrant parents are not very culturally/racially open, to say it nicely. >:(

What is the most disturbing, disgusting or messed up thing someone interested in dating you has ...

hippydog comments on Oct 9, 2018:

One lady from pof . Third day of texting. Started telling me she just got fired and stole her bosses car..

demifeministgal replies on Oct 10, 2018:

@hippydog POF is like the cesspool of the online dating communities. It's the 4chan or reddit of online dating. Have had bad experiences with that one too.

What is the most disturbing, disgusting or messed up thing someone interested in dating you has ...

LiterateHiker comments on Oct 9, 2018:

Obscene post in the Plenty of Fish forums: **Literate Hiker: What do I have to do to get your attention?** I need you. What do I have to do to get your attention? Just thinking of your superior intelligent self with your liberal slender alabaster thighs wrapped around me made me blow my...

demifeministgal replies on Oct 10, 2018:

ughhh where's an EWW reaction when you need one. Fck I hope nobody has ever printed my profile pics and done that. yugh

What is the most disturbing, disgusting or messed up thing someone interested in dating you has ...

Piratefish comments on Oct 10, 2018:

If you blocked the first guy, it is entirely likely he never got to read your retort.

demifeministgal replies on Oct 10, 2018:

I waited a bit to block him. He replied with some lame ass excuse then I blocked

What is the most disturbing, disgusting or messed up thing someone interested in dating you has ...

powder comments on Oct 9, 2018:

Gee picky aren't you?

demifeministgal replies on Oct 10, 2018:

perhaps... if only more women gave guys that want to use women as toilets and guys that wanna pay for sex, but actually despise us as humans, a chance. oh well! Sucks to be them! ;D

Do you attract a certain type of the opposite sex? Do you have a preferred type?

ShieldMaiden_76 comments on Oct 7, 2018:

I tend to attract: Black men, Country boys, Mexican men, and old men. Don't know what gives. I just like dick, and prefer bigger over smaller. Take that as you will.

demifeministgal replies on Oct 9, 2018:

@ShieldMaiden_76 ahh okay. I too have been around all types of Latinos. But to be limited only to Mexicans and neither of the others would be no bueno ;)

What is the most disturbing, disgusting or messed up thing someone interested in dating you has ...

GreatNani comments on Oct 9, 2018:

So curious about who raises these men? Where do they live that they think that is acceptable behavior?

demifeministgal replies on Oct 9, 2018:

@starwatcher-al It wasn't to stop men from worrying. It was to prevent men into that kind of DOM play from messaging me. heh

What is the most disturbing, disgusting or messed up thing someone interested in dating you has ...

hippydog comments on Oct 9, 2018:

One lady from pof . Third day of texting. Started telling me she just got fired and stole her bosses car..

demifeministgal replies on Oct 9, 2018:

Does that make you an accessory now? :p :o

What is the most disturbing, disgusting or messed up thing someone interested in dating you has ...

GreatNani comments on Oct 9, 2018:

So curious about who raises these men? Where do they live that they think that is acceptable behavior?

demifeministgal replies on Oct 9, 2018:

To be clear, I am not into doing that to testicles, just trying to illustrate a point. heh

What is the most disturbing, disgusting or messed up thing someone interested in dating you has ...

GreatNani comments on Oct 9, 2018:

So curious about who raises these men? Where do they live that they think that is acceptable behavior?

demifeministgal replies on Oct 9, 2018:

Exactly. Like if I messaged guys in a first message are they fine with me stepping on and crushing their balls, for the mot part it would be unacceptable and deemed creepy. And yet that one fcker thought it was okay to message women if he could piss in their mouths. yughh

Do you attract a certain type of the opposite sex? Do you have a preferred type?

evidentialist comments on Oct 8, 2018:

Recently widowed Nigerian women who are holding small fortunes from their deceased husbands who were the heads of national banks, and these grieving widows need someone honest, god fearing, and oh so good looking to siphon that money through an American bank for a percentage of the take.

demifeministgal replies on Oct 9, 2018:

Your comment made me LOL in the library and have to apologize... thanks ^_^ xD

Do you attract a certain type of the opposite sex? Do you have a preferred type?

ShieldMaiden_76 comments on Oct 7, 2018:

I tend to attract: Black men, Country boys, Mexican men, and old men. Don't know what gives. I just like dick, and prefer bigger over smaller. Take that as you will.

demifeministgal replies on Oct 9, 2018:

I have the same problem with old men. :/ But I'd switch with you for the black men and latino (mexican) men ;) lucky! :p

Wow! What do I say?

Mike1947 comments on Oct 4, 2018:

If the Constitutions 1st amendment is taken away,expect "Blasphemy Laws" to go into effect,people have been jailed,or imprisoned for being critical of islam in any country it is power. Depending on severity,even death.....

demifeministgal replies on Oct 9, 2018:

Well this is a private company and international forum. Do you honestly think your constitution applies to international online groups?? US-centrism is a helluva thing

I rent a condo here.

SkotlandSkye comments on Oct 9, 2018:

I don't understand why it matters what skin color the lady had? Would the story be different if she were Asian? or Hispanic? or Native American? Also, I have no idea what "Spectrum" is. I assume from context it's a company of some sort? Internet or cable since it seems she thought you were...

demifeministgal replies on Oct 9, 2018:

@SkotlandSkye he's from FloriDUH so race probably does factor in to his daily life, whether white people acknowledge it or not. I had black friends in high school that were in to anime and did not fit the black stereotype mould and they were mocked or regarded strangely. Perhaps that is what he was alluding to?

Something I find interesting, members on here trying to encourage conformity without realizing it.

Sgt_Spanky comments on Oct 3, 2018:

You can post an image of roadkill as a profile pic if you want, I personally don't care, BUT, having said that, if you're open to meeting people for potential dating or whatever social interaction is your goal, it's just considerate to let them see who they're engaging with by including a pic or two...

demifeministgal replies on Oct 3, 2018:

It is not my goal. I entered that I am open to it on my profile. But perhaps I should remove it because I literally come here for community, support and advice and nothing romantic. Thoughts?

Something I find interesting, members on here trying to encourage conformity without realizing it.

maturin1919 comments on Oct 3, 2018:

I think you're looking at it the wrong way. Generally, when I talk to someone in the real world, I talk to them, not their dog. It's not unusual for people to want to see who it is they are talking to.

demifeministgal replies on Oct 3, 2018:

Is it also not unusual for men to demand I post a profile pic or try to convince me to send them a pic via private messages?

Something I find interesting, members on here trying to encourage conformity without realizing it.

patchoullijulie comments on Oct 3, 2018:

I too hate conformity so I understand your frustration. If dating is a goal on this site then I think a pic/photo is probably an expectation based on curiosity rather than conformity. :D

demifeministgal replies on Oct 3, 2018:

It is not my goal. I entered that I am open to it on my profile. But perhaps I should remove it because I literally come here for community, support and advice and nothing romantic.

Something I find interesting, members on here trying to encourage conformity without realizing it.

bingst comments on Oct 3, 2018:

It's your choice. And that's really all you need to say about it. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

demifeministgal replies on Oct 3, 2018:

I've had to explain it to multiple guys in private messages here. One of which got upset with me so as a fck you to him I posted the current pic I have. Such entitlement from strangers annoys me... hey post a pic or send a pic to me NOW! Um NO. Who the fck are you buddy?

Something I find interesting, members on here trying to encourage conformity without realizing it.

genessa comments on Oct 3, 2018:

i have never seen anyone publicly asking others to do that except in one group. i can't speak for what people ask in private messages. now, if you're on the dating side of this site, it's natural to want some info. if not, it's nobody's business how much or little you choose to share. g

demifeministgal replies on Oct 3, 2018:

What would constitute as being on the dating side of this site though? Actively being part of singles or dating chat groups? Or simply having stated that I am open to dating? I ask about the latter, because perhaps I should remove that as an option of what I am open to on my profile.

Do you believe that a cure for cancer exists, but it's not available to the public because medical ...

KKGator comments on Oct 2, 2018:

While I absolutely believe Big Pharma is basically evil AF, IF there were a cure for cancer, they would stand to make TRILLIONS of dollars. They're too greedy to pass that up.

demifeministgal replies on Oct 3, 2018:

@EdEarl What about non US countries with socialized healthcare? Or those that can pay for the treatment? If one existed, surely it'd be made available to the rich and affluent, no?

Got my car pretty organized, so I will be more comfy this winter.

Captain747ex comments on Sep 25, 2018:

You know, this is what really pisses me off about some people. They can clearly see that you are in some sort of need and this lady wants to not only sue you for seeking shelter but will throw your friend out too. Why is it such a big deal to the land lady as long as the rent is paid and property is...

demifeministgal replies on Sep 30, 2018:

@Annaleda Is pagan a type of theism as well?

Got my car pretty organized, so I will be more comfy this winter.

Captain747ex comments on Sep 25, 2018:

You know, this is what really pisses me off about some people. They can clearly see that you are in some sort of need and this lady wants to not only sue you for seeking shelter but will throw your friend out too. Why is it such a big deal to the land lady as long as the rent is paid and property is...

demifeministgal replies on Sep 28, 2018:

@Captain747ex What would be icing on the cake was if this lady was one of those "loving Christian" or loving religious types and then she turns around and pulls this BS. I always find religious types to be the biggest damn hypocrites.

Men cause 100% of unwanted pregnancies.

TheGreatShadow comments on Sep 17, 2018:

So if a girl forgets to put in her diaphram, forgets to take the pill, or forgets to take her shot, it's the guys fault? There's always the morning after pill if that's the case.

demifeministgal replies on Sep 20, 2018:

@TheGreatShadow The breaking thing is a possiblity. Whereas the angry roomate thing is such a statistical outlier at lesss than 0.00001% chance of happening, is not a scenario one should worry about, though certainly keep in mind as a bizarre possibility.

Is a girlfriend really too much to ask for?

Cutiebeauty comments on Sep 17, 2018:

Wow, really? Alright then, I'll give you a chance, go ahead and ask me...

demifeministgal replies on Sep 17, 2018:

LOL a pity date? XD

Men cause 100% of unwanted pregnancies.

TheGreatShadow comments on Sep 17, 2018:

So if a girl forgets to put in her diaphram, forgets to take the pill, or forgets to take her shot, it's the guys fault? There's always the morning after pill if that's the case.

demifeministgal replies on Sep 17, 2018:

All of that should not matter since BOTH parties should be actively engaged in safe sex practices. So even if she is an airhead, the guy should have it covered. Just like if the guy is an airhead, the woman should have it covered. GET IT?

Let's make an anti- bucket list, comment something you'll never do again. ??

genessa comments on Sep 16, 2018:

i do not think i'll be able to keep this on my anti-bucket list. i've always said no surgery ever again, but tomorrow i have an endometrial biopsy (which is not surgery per se) to find out whether i have uterine cancer. if i do, then i may need surgery. what can i do to keep this on my ...

demifeministgal replies on Sep 17, 2018:

@MissKathleen Your advice, while well meaning, can honestly lead to many cancer patients' deaths. This whole New Age movement in feeble attempts to overcome TERMINAL illnesses NEEDS TO STOP because it is leading to waaay more Darwin Awards than it is helping people. Until there is peer reviewed scientific evidence supporting this GBOMB diet, then it is dangerous advice.

Do you "dress your age"?

demifeministgal comments on Sep 1, 2018:

I don't think I dress my age. I dress rather conservatively and covered up. So very rarely can you see skin or even curves if I am wearing loose jeans or dress pants. So because I do not dress like a scantily clad sex worker and do not "flaunt it" people assume I dress older or younger than I ...

demifeministgal replies on Sep 17, 2018:

@AnneWimsey Alright then, perhaps less visible than one was in their youth? Perhaps you are the outlier to the data and the anecdotes? IDK... though I was looking forward to becoming invisible and now you have burst my bubble! :( :/ Because it is disrespectful and anxiety inducing, personally. I just wish I could be left alone 100% of the time by men. And even if I were to don a burqa or niqab the fckers still would not leave me alone. :/

Do you "dress your age"?

demifeministgal comments on Sep 1, 2018:

I don't think I dress my age. I dress rather conservatively and covered up. So very rarely can you see skin or even curves if I am wearing loose jeans or dress pants. So because I do not dress like a scantily clad sex worker and do not "flaunt it" people assume I dress older or younger than I ...

demifeministgal replies on Sep 17, 2018:

@AnneWimsey well yeaa but older women apparently become "invisible" or so I have heard/read. So it's way easier at your age. Unwanted attention has nothing to do with mannerisms btw (I am pretty shy myself) and has everything to do with if you are read as being female. Guys that engage in street harassment are not doing it with any dating intentions but to show off to their neanderthal buddies or to assert their masculinity/dominance.

Marrying...

SaucyCheryl comments on Sep 11, 2018:

I have come to believe that lifetime commitment is very unlikely. Two people go thru many phases and changes, growth and it isn't always in a parallel trajectory as your mate. I see life as phases and monogamy serial at best. The man to make babies with might not turn out to be a good father, ...

demifeministgal replies on Sep 12, 2018:

But if neither of you wants babies, then shitty parenting won't matter! Win win :D

It's with deep sorrow that I share the news that my mother, Ellen, passed away today.

dreamsinflux comments on Sep 10, 2018:

My heart hurts for your family and its loss. I am very glad you had a mother worth grieving. Please be gentle with yourself and eachother for some months to come.

demifeministgal replies on Sep 12, 2018:

Those words are so powerful "you had a mother worth grieving". YES YES A MILLION TIMES OVER.

That's just science.

TheGreatShadow comments on Sep 7, 2018:

On the other hand, some must love it when their partner beats the shit out of them multiple times! Just saying this because a former friend went back to her former boyfriend (for the 7th time). She had her own place 45 minutes from his. Maybe some people deserve to be beat?

demifeministgal replies on Sep 9, 2018:

@TheGreatShadow It is not just low self esteem or low self confidence or a cycle of abuse. The most dangerous time for an abused woman is when she leaves. There is a high proportion of women beaten or killed when they finally do leave for good. Hence why safe houses are usually in secret locations not known by the public at large. There are a host of variables explored and sometimes survival and safety for oneself or one's child (as in better abused than dead) or being financially dependent and otherwise being homeless or starving are sometimes why women stay. Check out this video for further context: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1yW5IsnSjo

I am heartbroken.

altschmerz comments on Sep 6, 2018:

That sounds absolutely awful. I think losing your mother must be one of the worst things in the world. Nobody is like your mother. And your friend! Double whammy! I’m really sorry you have to go through this right now.

demifeministgal replies on Sep 7, 2018:

Depends on the mother and the relationship. For others it is a good thing or a blessing in disguise. But that's a tangential discussion in its own right. :$

Do you "dress your age"?

demifeministgal comments on Sep 1, 2018:

I don't think I dress my age. I dress rather conservatively and covered up. So very rarely can you see skin or even curves if I am wearing loose jeans or dress pants. So because I do not dress like a scantily clad sex worker and do not "flaunt it" people assume I dress older or younger than I ...

demifeministgal replies on Sep 4, 2018:

@graceylou There are some that do dress like sex workers. And you misunderstand me. My criticism is mainly geared at the socialization and the marketing that teaches women, particularily young women, that their worth lies in their looks and they must dress a given way for the male gaze. And then with all the women/girl that internalize that BS narrative/message and try to encourage others to follow suit.

At the age of 33, I am trying to come to grips with the possibility that I may be alone for the rest...

RaulPerez comments on Aug 28, 2018:

Keep on going, try other things. Go to school activities, even at groceries stores. Always think, what us the worst it can happen. She may say no and that's how it was anyways, but she may say yes and then great things can happen .

demifeministgal replies on Aug 31, 2018:

Yea I would advise against the grocery store suggestion. Women are inundated with catcallers that it can be exhausting. Can we just shop in peace without getting hit on? Yes we can if guys quit doing it!

Woman are pressed in Stereotypes.

demifeministgal comments on Jul 22, 2018:

This sums up my point nicely

demifeministgal replies on Aug 29, 2018:

@GreatNani okay! thanks for clearing that up for me! :D

Was at a fast food place today and a horde of people had a baby girl.

ArgosFriend comments on Aug 28, 2018:

This is a question that plagues my soul. Answer: I have absolutely no idea why these parents think their kids are so cute. I think we've probably all had a similar experience. Sorry for yours :(

demifeministgal replies on Aug 29, 2018:

LOL IF I EVER tried to act like that I would have had that smacked out of me. I was never a brat in public trust me.

Woman are pressed in Stereotypes.

demifeministgal comments on Jul 22, 2018:

This sums up my point nicely

demifeministgal replies on Aug 28, 2018:

@GreatNani mkay. :S

Drugs for insomnia.

Annitonn comments on Aug 14, 2018:

I take clonazapam to slow my brain down at times. It’s anxiety medication.

demifeministgal replies on Aug 16, 2018:

@Annitonn Yes my current dose is half a tablet. But it still doesn't help me stay asleep. Seems nothing will!! :'(

What are some alternatives to marijuana to help calm myself down?

demifeministgal comments on Aug 16, 2018:

I have been told meditation and grounding excercise may help. Trying to make yourself focus on the present. So stuff like squeezing a stress ball, colouring an adult colouring book, slowing your breathing and taking deep breaths, etc. etc.

demifeministgal replies on Aug 16, 2018:

Here's an article with tips on grounding: https://www.livingwell.org.au/well-being/mental-health/grounding-exercises/

Drugs for insomnia.

Annitonn comments on Aug 14, 2018:

I take clonazapam to slow my brain down at times. It’s anxiety medication.

demifeministgal replies on Aug 15, 2018:

I've been taking that for a couple days now. It helps me fall asleep but it leaves me feeling sleepy and groggy through the day. Any idea when I can expect it to work as it should?? :(

My adult son and his wife are ostracizing and punishing me.

demifeministgal comments on Aug 12, 2018:

I may be biased, but it is not a simple choice to cut out one's parents from one's life. Most of the time, if a parent has been cut out it is due to a deep wound inflicted by said parent on the child. I would do some introspective thinking and think back long and hard and try to determine if you did...

demifeministgal replies on Aug 12, 2018:

I am not a parent. But I did go LC and NC with my mother often before she died. And the support group I am in also have cut off their parents slowly but surely. Not all parents are well meaning and loving and supportive. But if you are not one of those types that should have been barred from procreating, then there is still hope for you and your son. Good luck to you.

Some say there is no mental illness.

HippieChick58 comments on Aug 4, 2018:

Anyone who says there is no mental illness is full of BS. It isn't weakness, a failing or a fault. It is an illness just as the flu is an illness, just as cancer is.

demifeministgal replies on Aug 8, 2018:

@HippieChick58 I think it is important to recognize the mental disorders that are hormonally based or genetic (ie clinical depressive disorder) and those that are brought on by terrible environments (ie abuse or trauma) or even milder versions like SAD (seasonal affective disorder). For those that are environmentally based, parenting can be the cause or an exacerbating factor. For those that are genetically based and not preventable, the best parenting in the world is not going to cure anything, though it will make managing the disorders easier on the kid(s).

Sunday I took a med they had given me for anxiety.

AncientNight comments on Aug 7, 2018:

Things have a tendency to work themselves out. Talk to the councilor and don't hold back anything. Let it all out. If nothing else, it'll help you to feel better. And don't swear! That's what the religious fanatics do!

demifeministgal replies on Aug 8, 2018:

nah! If you let it all out you can swear in frustration. Otherwise you are holding yourself back even more. Go with what feels natural

Woman are pressed in Stereotypes.

demifeministgal comments on Jul 22, 2018:

I think that women that dress really promiscuously are also not empowered or free just like the women in hijabs are not. I think both are experiencing different sides of a similar cone, as in dressing up for the male gaze or to be ornamental or a sex object for mens' pleasure is not much better than...

demifeministgal replies on Aug 2, 2018:

@SKH78 Yup same here. I dress for comfort and things I personally enjoy. I do not care if it went out of fashion years ago or if I have been wearing it for countless years, I like it I wear it, the male gaze be damned.

Job hunting is like numbly pulling the lever over and over on a slot machine that's programmed to ...

Anonbene comments on Jun 25, 2018:

Why don't you become they? Why don't you be the boss? Start your own company.

demifeministgal replies on Jul 30, 2018:

@Anonbene You sound like closed minded simpleton that thinks your anecdote can be applied to the masses. As I said you are the exception not the norm. And to talk down to people as the exception is kinda gross. Not to mention, I do NOT want to be an entrepreneur. So you saying that I am looking for excuses to why I haven't made it is asinine as I do not want to be self employed. I was trying to educate you but you are a closed mind and lost cause so I should not have wasted my time. Enjoy your closed-minded, judgemental life.

Job hunting is like numbly pulling the lever over and over on a slot machine that's programmed to ...

NJSnarky comments on Jun 25, 2018:

The constant rejection is completely demoralizing. The more you need the job the more painful it is, made even worse by lowering yourself and taking a crappy job out of desperation. i would say network, cast a wide net, and get as much advice from all sources as possible. Talk to people in your ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 30, 2018:

@memorylikeasieve I think it is less about stroking their egos and more about leaving a positive impression and helping them remember you? Stand out from the competition, so to speak?

Job hunting is like numbly pulling the lever over and over on a slot machine that's programmed to ...

Anonbene comments on Jun 25, 2018:

Why don't you become they? Why don't you be the boss? Start your own company.

demifeministgal replies on Jul 29, 2018:

@Anonbene Also not everyone can be entrepreneurs. We need labourers to do the actual work. If everyone was an entrepreneur nobody would be successful and society would go to shit. Also this: https://www.forbes.com/sites/ericwagner/2013/09/12/five-reasons-8-out-of-10-businesses-fail/#5be6719a6978

Job hunting is like numbly pulling the lever over and over on a slot machine that's programmed to ...

Anonbene comments on Jun 25, 2018:

Why don't you become they? Why don't you be the boss? Start your own company.

demifeministgal replies on Jul 29, 2018:

@Anonbene "it is not the amount of ability and effort an individual puts into their education that determines how well they do, but rather their class background. The simple reality is that being born into a middle class family means that middle class children benefit from material and cultural capital which give them an advantage in both school, and in the job application process, which gives them an unfair advantage compared to working class children. As with educational success, what explains high income is family background – the combination of an individual’s class, gender and ethnicity are much better predictors of someone’s income rather than their IQ – educational qualifications are of much more value to the white, middle class male, than to the black, working class female." https://revisesociology.com/2017/07/28/bowles-gintis-myth-meritocracy/

Job hunting is like numbly pulling the lever over and over on a slot machine that's programmed to ...

Anonbene comments on Jun 25, 2018:

Why don't you become they? Why don't you be the boss? Start your own company.

demifeministgal replies on Jul 29, 2018:

@Anonbene You really need to read research on the myth of meritocracy. If hard work and intelligence paid off in its own right, there wouldn't be millions of intelligent/hardworking unemployed or underemployed people. Most businesses started actually end up failing. You are the exception, not the norm.

Job hunting is like numbly pulling the lever over and over on a slot machine that's programmed to ...

NJSnarky comments on Jun 25, 2018:

The constant rejection is completely demoralizing. The more you need the job the more painful it is, made even worse by lowering yourself and taking a crappy job out of desperation. i would say network, cast a wide net, and get as much advice from all sources as possible. Talk to people in your ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 29, 2018:

@memorylikeasieve You can send thank you letters though. That is encouraged and NOT considered harassment.

This felt like the safest place to share this.

demifeministgal comments on Jul 29, 2018:

I know you did not ask for advice but sometimes you can do focus groups for a little spare money. I am sure there must be ones in New Jersey that you could even apply to through facebook groups. I found this site: https://focusgroups.org/newjersey/

demifeministgal replies on Jul 29, 2018:

And here: https://www.facebook.com/findpaidfocusgroups/

Traditions.

demifeministgal comments on Jul 14, 2018:

Well that is some gender normative BS if I ever did read it. What happens those that deviate? Say the lady has a home and established career while her mate does not. What if the woman does not want a BS or MBA. In today's economic market even MBA's or BS's are no guarantees of success or even a ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 21, 2018:

@bigpawbullets If you looked into the research on poor people or people living in poverty that received higher education, but lack social and cultural capital, you'd see how their lives are drastically different. Hence if your family didn't follow these rituals, yet still had the support to buffer any life choices they made, they would be fine. It's a false belief system similar to theistic belief system imo.

Adult Virgins

HonkyBMcfunky comments on Jun 27, 2018:

Sex a normal and natural part of life. If someone doesn't want to do it, then that's ok. However, that person isn't going to be someone I want as an intimate partner. We aren't going to connect because sex is something I enjoy. Does that mean I would lack compassion or would ostracized them? Of ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 18, 2018:

@MsDemeanour I was stating facts. On an individual level humans can survive without sex and asexuals exist. You made it personal and said I have an abnormal sex drive. But in the end who are you? Some expert? No some random lady on the internet with an uninformed opinion. So whatever.

Adult Virgins

HonkyBMcfunky comments on Jun 27, 2018:

Sex a normal and natural part of life. If someone doesn't want to do it, then that's ok. However, that person isn't going to be someone I want as an intimate partner. We aren't going to connect because sex is something I enjoy. Does that mean I would lack compassion or would ostracized them? Of ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 17, 2018:

@MsDemeanour Also learn the difference between individual needs for survival and species survival. CLEARLY the person was remarking on an individual basis, not on a species level as your comment indicates.

Adult Virgins

HonkyBMcfunky comments on Jun 27, 2018:

Sex a normal and natural part of life. If someone doesn't want to do it, then that's ok. However, that person isn't going to be someone I want as an intimate partner. We aren't going to connect because sex is something I enjoy. Does that mean I would lack compassion or would ostracized them? Of ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 17, 2018:

@MsDemeanour No sweetie this is NOT about me. Just because I acknowledge asexual people exist or people with low(er) sex drives exist, does not make me one of said people. And who are YOU to dictate what is abnormally low or not? Perhaps the real issue is your sex drive is abnormally high.

Question for the single people...

demifeministgal comments on Jul 14, 2018:

Nope. Do NOT do booty calls or one night stands. I need know and trust a person, have some sort of connection before I can be sexually intimate. I am demisexual and it is our way. I like that there is a label for people like me that can find a stranger attractive but never want randomly have with...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 17, 2018:

@Punkrockgirl77 whatever helps you sleep at night lady. First you are pissed at a new word. Newsflash new words are created all the time. The fluidity of language scares you. Now secondly you are mad that someone has a FWBs so you have to denigrate them. Buzz off

This is a video explaining asexuality from the perspective of asexuals for people that cannot fathom...

Solar1 comments on Jul 15, 2018:

Can someone vacillate between the two? I seem to but I also have severe TBI

demifeministgal replies on Jul 16, 2018:

what do you mean by TBI?

Traditions.

demifeministgal comments on Jul 14, 2018:

Well that is some gender normative BS if I ever did read it. What happens those that deviate? Say the lady has a home and established career while her mate does not. What if the woman does not want a BS or MBA. In today's economic market even MBA's or BS's are no guarantees of success or even a ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 15, 2018:

@bigpawbullets I would argue that it is your family's support network, aka cultural capital and social capital that has actually lead to their successes. Were they to follow the same gender normative schemes but lack financial support or networks, they would be SOL. Here is an article explaining cultural capital: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_capital And social capital: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_capital

Hello all, Does this group or forum allow posts be deleted or removed or is that grounds for ...

maturin1919 comments on Jul 14, 2018:

Not only will you be kicked out, you'll be hunted down and publicly shamed with 40 lashes from a wet noodle.

demifeministgal replies on Jul 15, 2018:

ooh myyy :o :p

Question for the single people...

demifeministgal comments on Jul 14, 2018:

Nope. Do NOT do booty calls or one night stands. I need know and trust a person, have some sort of connection before I can be sexually intimate. I am demisexual and it is our way. I like that there is a label for people like me that can find a stranger attractive but never want randomly have with...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 15, 2018:

@Humanistheathen yea same here. Plus fucking fear mongering catholic school "sex ed" has me paranoid about STDs and STIs as well. So there's an emotional as well as a practical psychological aspect to it. If the ex was not a friend, and things were toxic, I would not be doing a FWBs situation. He is literally the ONLY ex I have been able to be friends with all the other fckboys can fck off and burn for all I care. :p When our friendship was struggling at some point we stopped being intimate because at that point it would have been akin to just rubbing it out with someone I cannot stand. And hate fcking seems wrong (TO ME and FOR ME).

Imagine MeToo turning the U.S. into a "Bumble" Society ?

NicoleCadmium comments on Feb 15, 2018:

I don't think humanity will ever properly detach itself from the fact that we are mammals, with mammals' mating instincts. The female role being to find the best possible DNA for the offspring that she will have to nurture. The male role to spread his DNA as far and wide as possible. This ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 14, 2018:

@NicoleCadmium okay I see. I've only ever heard that line used by misogynists trying to slut shame women so I mistook you for doing the same thing. But it seems you were illustrating the ridiculous societal double standards at play. :$ carry on. My mistake. :$

Imagine MeToo turning the U.S. into a "Bumble" Society ?

NicoleCadmium comments on Feb 15, 2018:

I don't think humanity will ever properly detach itself from the fact that we are mammals, with mammals' mating instincts. The female role being to find the best possible DNA for the offspring that she will have to nurture. The male role to spread his DNA as far and wide as possible. This ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 13, 2018:

That key analogy is BULLSHIT because men and women are not locks and keys and we are not inanimate objects, but rather complex human beings.

Hello all, I am new, accidentally stumbled into this group.

AuntieMame comments on Jul 9, 2018:

To do echo others, make a plan to get out. Having the plan will help make you feel more in control. If you can, go for a walk when you get triggered. Exercise is a natural antidepressant, and again, you'll be in control of something in your life. While walking, use positive self-talk to remind ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 11, 2018:

@AuntieMame I mean he has admitted to being wrong in the past and apologized something the psycho narc I grew up with NEVER EVER did. I do believe there is SOMETHING wrong with him, but I have not pinpointed what it is yet.

Hello all, I am new, accidentally stumbled into this group.

AuntieMame comments on Jul 9, 2018:

To do echo others, make a plan to get out. Having the plan will help make you feel more in control. If you can, go for a walk when you get triggered. Exercise is a natural antidepressant, and again, you'll be in control of something in your life. While walking, use positive self-talk to remind ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 11, 2018:

@AuntieMame I truly do not think he is a narc. I grew up with a maladjusted narc and he is nothing like her. I am VERY aware of both narcissism and gaslighting so thank you.

Hello all, I am new, accidentally stumbled into this group.

GilSanchez comments on Jul 9, 2018:

I have been there done that both living in a hostile environment and anxiety highs and depression lows meds are good but side effects are not I smoke pot I live in a state where both medical and recreational are legal

demifeministgal replies on Jul 10, 2018:

I do not do recreational drugs. I took weed maybe twice in my life both times after a death in my life. All it did was make me super hungry. None of that calming mellowed out feeling people rave about. :/

Hello all, I am new, accidentally stumbled into this group.

AncientNight comments on Jul 9, 2018:

First: Welcome to our family. If you have to vent, this is the place to do it. We don't judge or condemn here, and we don't bite (but if I do bite, it wouldn't hurt at all, because I'll take out my teeth first). we don't yell, scream or holler at each other either. Second: It would be good to...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 10, 2018:

If intimate includes family members, then yes. Luckily it is not a romantic partner or roomate.

Hello all, I am new, accidentally stumbled into this group.

AuntieMame comments on Jul 9, 2018:

To do echo others, make a plan to get out. Having the plan will help make you feel more in control. If you can, go for a walk when you get triggered. Exercise is a natural antidepressant, and again, you'll be in control of something in your life. While walking, use positive self-talk to remind ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 10, 2018:

I have been going on daily walks while here. It was this person's idea for me to get daily excercise. Then he got pissed off recently where the heck am I going every day and staying out so late. I mean I am a grown person I can stay out as late as I want, imo. And once I am home and get triggered by said confrontation I cannot go back out until said person leaves for work around 6am. So for that timeframe I am stuck at home with the anxiety or depressed mood and need a non walking or non excercise alternative.

Hello all, I am new, accidentally stumbled into this group.

GilSanchez comments on Jul 9, 2018:

Excersise works as well go for a walk find some one to talk to aswell

demifeministgal replies on Jul 10, 2018:

Going for daily walks has not helped. I mean while I am out and about I am fine but as soon as I get home I am either in anxiety mode or more seldom, depressed mode.

Hello all, I am new, accidentally stumbled into this group.

jacpod comments on Jul 9, 2018:

Is there some sort of advice centre nearby where you can get some help?

demifeministgal replies on Jul 10, 2018:

I think there may be. I live in a downtown city area so lots of services here. Conversely I could ask my counsellor for advice when I see her.

When you're feeling depressed, down, sad or whatever your particular malaise may be, what is it that...

Marcie1974 comments on Jul 8, 2018:

It would be nice to just be acknowledged. Have someone check in and say, you don’t seem yourself, are you ok. To have them hold me tight. Rub my back and stroke my hair. Let me cry it out and then ask me pointed questions about how I’m feeling. It’s difficult for me to admit when I’m feeling...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 9, 2018:

You are truly such a blessing to your kid. I cannot tell you what it would mean to have a parent that knew WTF they were talking about or educated themselves instead of going to stupid conclusions of ooh she's just lazy/making excuses or my favourite she's possessed by demons on the devil. FFS

When you're feeling depressed, down, sad or whatever your particular malaise may be, what is it that...

MissaDixon comments on Jul 8, 2018:

I would like to hear all the good I've done...I totally forget that when I'm depressed.

demifeministgal replies on Jul 9, 2018:

That'd be great. Instead of being told it's all excuses or being told I am strong or some other empty cliches or platitudes.

I read some recent figures that in 26 states of US (mostly Southern) the death rate is higher than ...

Amisja comments on Jul 5, 2018:

Of course the death rate is higher than the birthrate. There is a falling birth rate in most Western countries. In the US you have alsorts of additional problems such as gun crime and poor health care which results in increasing deaths, especially across certain groups. Sadly, in addition you have ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 6, 2018:

@ian290744 also my example would be rooted specifically in north america and why women are smartly abstaining from having kids. I cannot speak for the reasons and socioeconomic and cultural reasons the birth rate is high in India.

I read some recent figures that in 26 states of US (mostly Southern) the death rate is higher than ...

Amisja comments on Jul 5, 2018:

Of course the death rate is higher than the birthrate. There is a falling birth rate in most Western countries. In the US you have alsorts of additional problems such as gun crime and poor health care which results in increasing deaths, especially across certain groups. Sadly, in addition you have ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 6, 2018:

@ian290744 get snippy? lose focus? WTF are you talking about? Unless you know every woman's end goal should be to be a broodmare then no there is no lack of focus here.

I read some recent figures that in 26 states of US (mostly Southern) the death rate is higher than ...

Amisja comments on Jul 5, 2018:

Of course the death rate is higher than the birthrate. There is a falling birth rate in most Western countries. In the US you have alsorts of additional problems such as gun crime and poor health care which results in increasing deaths, especially across certain groups. Sadly, in addition you have ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 5, 2018:

And if you actually ask women it is because many cannot afford to have a child or more than one child or our careers take too to be established and then there is the obvious motherhood gap in wages for women that choose to have kids to contend with, that men do not have to deal with. The economy for millenials is way different than it was for boomers and that will play a huge role in child rearing decisions.

I didn't understand the whole "Make America great again" thing.

demifeministgal comments on Jul 3, 2018:

Actually, it is in fact nordic countries that make up the top 10 best countries in the world according to international matrices. It is only Americans or people from 3rd world countries that espouse the myth of America being the greatest nation in the world. Y'all have not been great for a VERY long...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 4, 2018:

@TheAstroChuck Not to mention the neoliberal policies and offshoring of jobs that American industries are famously engaging in.

I didn't understand the whole "Make America great again" thing.

demifeministgal comments on Jul 3, 2018:

Actually, it is in fact nordic countries that make up the top 10 best countries in the world according to international matrices. It is only Americans or people from 3rd world countries that espouse the myth of America being the greatest nation in the world. Y'all have not been great for a VERY long...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 3, 2018:

@Geoffrey51 This image I came across weeks back sums it up nicely :)

I am hurting my brain with this one so I need a little help.

MissKathleen comments on Jul 3, 2018:

You did abandon her. You wonder how that might have affected her. You maybe think you made a selfish decision and feel guilty. Think about how contacting her might affect her today. Are you in a position to help now, if she still needs it?

demifeministgal replies on Jul 3, 2018:

@SilverDollarJedi I think she makes an important point. Are you in a place emotionally or psychologically where you could stick around her for better or for worse. Or is this just meant to be a brief check in to assuage your guilt, then disappear again? If it is the latter, you are being selfish yet again. Do some serious reflection and self analysis before acting is my suggestion.

Adult Virgins

HonkyBMcfunky comments on Jun 27, 2018:

Sex a normal and natural part of life. If someone doesn't want to do it, then that's ok. However, that person isn't going to be someone I want as an intimate partner. We aren't going to connect because sex is something I enjoy. Does that mean I would lack compassion or would ostracized them? Of ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 1, 2018:

@HonkyBMcfunky Well then we agree it would not fall under necessities and physiological needs (according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs) but rather fall at a higher level and is thus not needed for survival.

Adult Virgins

HonkyBMcfunky comments on Jun 27, 2018:

Sex a normal and natural part of life. If someone doesn't want to do it, then that's ok. However, that person isn't going to be someone I want as an intimate partner. We aren't going to connect because sex is something I enjoy. Does that mean I would lack compassion or would ostracized them? Of ...

demifeministgal replies on Jul 1, 2018:

@HonkyBMcfunky oh really? Can you provide evidence of people that are dying out due to lack of sex? I won't hold my breath :/

Describe Your Idea Of A Perfect Date.

btroje comments on Jun 29, 2018:

thats a lot of questions in one post

demifeministgal replies on Jun 30, 2018:

@btroje This may be a novel suggestion but have you considered approaching a guy and making the first move? Or are ya a stickler for traditional ways and men need to approach you and ask you out?

Adult Virgins

HonkyBMcfunky comments on Jun 27, 2018:

Sex a normal and natural part of life. If someone doesn't want to do it, then that's ok. However, that person isn't going to be someone I want as an intimate partner. We aren't going to connect because sex is something I enjoy. Does that mean I would lack compassion or would ostracized them? Of ...

demifeministgal replies on Jun 29, 2018:

That is VERY hyperbolic and sex is not an essential like breathing or eating, not even in the slightest. You may feel that way due to your (potentially) high sex drive, but people can live happy and healthy lives without sex. They cannot without breathing or sustenance.

Plain Jane Syndrome

AnneWimsey comments on Feb 27, 2018:

Why, exactly, are you always looking for assistance? I am 69 and the story of my ups & downs would curdle milk. But I have gotten assistance twice in my life...once as a single mom I got food stamps while on strike. No problem at all. Then when I had a stroke at age 38 (turned 39 in the hospital...

demifeministgal replies on Jun 27, 2018:

@AnneWimsey Not to mention IF the scholarships or programs she was looking for seek to help visible minorities that is to address the statistically researched disadvantaged populations and help them out, NOT to fck over white people like her. People struggle so much to understand systemic inequalities when wallowing in victim complexes.

Are You Lonely?

FreeDave comments on Apr 9, 2018:

I guess I most closely fit #6. I'm 71 and death often feels close. I go to a gym and try to avoid the worst effects of deterioration. I had a hip replacement when I was 65 and I never fully recovered from that so my walking is impaired. The knee of my opposite leg has no cartilage and is ...

demifeministgal replies on Jun 26, 2018:

Have you ever considered taking some OTC sleeping pills like Sleepeze or some natural remedies like valerian root or melatonin to help with the sleep issues? I suffer from insomnia as well and it is a pain.

America: Do you believe Canada is a socialist country?

SilverDollarJedi comments on Jun 16, 2018:

Agreed. How hard is it to get citizenship there again? I'm more than ready to move. Living 27 years in this madness is enough for me haha. Especially with this clown we have in office now. It is becoming nearly a daily occurrence of me, face in palm, shaking my head as I watch the news and all I...

demifeministgal replies on Jun 16, 2018:

Canada has an immigration points based system so unless you are coming here to start a business or have some in demand skill, immigrating here may be difficult for you. We tend to accept the best and brightest immigrants with financial savings as it stands.