Q: Do ewe give good head? A: Sure looks like it! :-D

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

5 pounds a bleat-job. Up front. LOL

oh Darwin...

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Gee, now nobody will believe him. LOL

Eric Trump complains that Joe Biden takes too much time off when he visits his home state of ...

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Jesus Marie, does he really believe we will buy that Biden going to his own home in Delaware is equivalent to his corpulent sex addicted syphilis-addled father playing fucking golf every weekend for four years? You're wrong though, he is even dumber than he looks, which is stone cold box of hammers stupid.

President Donald Trump didn't much care for conversations about his "legacy" ahead of leaving office...

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Three things that are the same, for 500 Alex. Putting the toothpaste back into the tube, unfrying the eggs and putting them back into the shells, reclaiming the talking yam's reputation. What are three impossible things that nobody will ever be able to do? Ding Ding Ding Ding

Meep meep

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

They fall for it every time.

"Weirdo" fun!

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

A more occult version of "Is your refrigerator running?" LOL

Don't kink shame me!

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Own your sexuality. Storm troopers are people too.

That's a nice try

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Hey, I can't tell the difference, dude. Seriously. ;)

A politician in the making? :-D

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Hey, you have to use whatever you have. Points for creativity.

What evangelicals think we do

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

How barbaric! A baby for breakfast? No, no, wait til lunch like civilized people do. For the hypersensitve amongst us, this is a joke, I kid.

“My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not ...

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

Rules me out.

Found this in my FB archives:

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2021:

I don't see how you can get a lap dance here.

i'd like to see similar stuff on islam.. why is everyone mocking christianity only?

zeuser comments on Mar 28, 2021:

The Hulk is not an automatic fan of any god. He likes Thor because they work together, but remember how he beat the crap out of Loki? Just sayin'. 😉

Well, you got to realize that it's Cindy Hyde-Smith that we're talking about here.

zeuser comments on Mar 28, 2021:

Do not attribute to age what is clearly explained by hubris, bias, hypocrisy, politics, dishonesty, and naked self interest. I wish I was 61 again. Um, hold on...but still retired of course. 😌

Guess who won the huge Washington Opportunity Scholarship?

zeuser comments on Mar 27, 2021:

Congratulations and all the best to Ms.Denise, and kudos to her dedicated mentor. :)

If anyone is having a bad day...

zeuser comments on Mar 27, 2021:

Ouch!

The answer to the canal problem

zeuser comments on Mar 27, 2021:

That should work. Good idea, whoever came up with it. LOL

Of course hammers are dangerous! Why I can terrorize and kill hundreds of people from afar with a ...

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2021:

Hammers are also a goes deal smarter than this gunbarrel-sucking moron.

New reporter from OAN?

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2021:

John Baron's brother in law.

Name's Bond... James Bond.

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2021:

I've met this guy, in several different incarnations.

Now, The Fun May really Begin: [alternet.

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2021:

That's the language these asswipes understand.

Every time a state law like voter suppression in GA or defunding the voter approved and elected ...

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2021:

I get angry.

I did not think it took a machine to fry my memory it gets lost all on its own.

zeuser comments on Mar 25, 2021:

Hmmm. *Looks at 5 bottles of wine and an empty milk carton in my fridge. *

"Facts don't necessarily have the power to change our minds.

zeuser comments on Mar 25, 2021:

I forget the author and the exact wording, but it's something like it is easier to fool someone than to convince someone that they have been fooled. Help me out her, quote people.

The real reason

zeuser comments on Mar 25, 2021:

Ya huh. Me too. RME LOL

Liar, liar, pants on fire...

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2021:

Get used to it, kid. Mom might have been first, but it will happen to you again and again.

There is time in life when...

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2021:

Pick the one you think who for sure won't get a divorce.

Cartoonies . . . . How are you getting along with life these days?

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2021:

Those are hilarious!

He was a tank engine, right?

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2021:

You can tell what he's aiming at by tracking his eyes. LOL

A lousy speller.

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2021:

Sometimes, it wurks out. LOL

No peace for the wicked eh! :-D

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2021:

He gets home. Wife: I said a head of LETTUCE!

Price check...Aisle 5

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2021:

Adoption agency BOGO?

For all my friends (and the millions I don't know) in the USA.

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2021:

Hitting those high notes is the climax of that song. The skies aren't the only thing that's spacious. LOL

Just horsin' around...

zeuser comments on Mar 22, 2021:

Maybe not on YOUR planet, Jean Luc.

Is there a David Attenborough in the house? :-D

zeuser comments on Mar 22, 2021:

Just foster one every so often. Something to consider.

“All truth passes through three stages.

zeuser comments on Mar 22, 2021:

This is one of my favorite observations/quotations of all time. I use it often.

Isnt this the dude who said "Lucy, you have some essplaineeng to do"? [thedailybeast.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 22, 2021:

Ricky is probably the pimp for the young lady Herr Mushroom was "entertaining" at the time.

Trump supporter on the radio [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2021:

I suppose you might want to come prepared if you want to bump nuts with someone who actually has some intelligence and evidence to put forward. Or, if not, you sound like this. um, *gentleman*. LOL

I'll Bet That No One Here Is Surprised! [slate.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2021:

No, not surprised at all. I am disappointed that there haven't been any formal charges of treason yet, though I can only hope those will follow. After the other financial crimes are prosecuted and he's convicted of those. Then, that's right, then it will be time to pile on with these charges. Why? His finances and legal team will be gone by that point.

seen on Facebook

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2021:

This is what we call a reconstructed memory. LOL

Unless it's a chihuahua...

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2021:

It's certainly not the only difference, but yeah.

Yo' Mama joke for Hindus...

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2021:

That guy is impressive. Tightly wrapped and well-trimmed. Like yer maw. LOL

His eyebrows looked like they were sending up smoke signals!

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2021:

I understand that bushy eyebrows are an indication of extreme virility, and are a symbol of masculinity. *ahem*

More (Florida) Exceptionalism: [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2021:

Ok, he's lying. What grates my cheese is that he is so fucking smug about it cuz he thinks everyone believes him, instead of just his mouth-breathing base.

Icarus, a man, glued feathers to himself with wax and dived from a tower, he flew too close to the ...

zeuser comments on Mar 20, 2021:

It's like an entire fantasy series, but written in the bronze age and earlier. 😜

Follow instructions

zeuser comments on Mar 20, 2021:

After this guy's divorce, I'll be there for her, and I do my own fucking laundry.

A childhood of dusting was enough!

zeuser comments on Mar 20, 2021:

Be a rebel!

You've come too soon

zeuser comments on Mar 20, 2021:

Oooo, that's harsh. Poor bastard.

I often do projects around the house.

zeuser comments on Mar 19, 2021:

Hah! My son is helping me clean out my garage today. So far, I found 3 near full cans of WD40 and 4 half empty packages of batteries. Also, my pruning saw. So I feel you.

Trump

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2021:

Pretty good likeness. Not mushroomy enough, but a good start.

A very interesting character, who acquired character too late "I spent thirty-three years and four ...

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2021:

When it finally hits you, the truth really hurts. At least Mr. Butler demonstrated an ability to change his mind. That is no small accomplishment.

The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town.

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2021:

This guy knows a little something about plowing the south forty.

Not the pipe he was hoping to connect

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2021:

The pizza guys get all the luck.

We knew you could do it....

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2021:

Sometimes you need to use a radical approach in cases of severe addiction. Heh.

Do you shine your shoes?

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2021:

I wear tennis shoes exclusively these days. I was never involved with footwear. I've got 5 pairs of shoes, that's it. My son is totally involved with them - I've never spent more than 80 bucks on a pair of shoes, and that was for hiking sandals. I polished shoes when I grew up and I really didn't like it, but I do other stuff too that most people don't like to do, so....

Want a date?

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2021:

I guess no really means no, right? ooo.

If It's not one thing It's your mother! :-D

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2021:

I gave you a laugh reaction, but it was against my better judgment. Just kiddin', AC. :)

Humans in a nutshell

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2021:

Too true.

Massage Parlor shooter was all about guns and God [news.yahoo.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2021:

He should have left pizza out of it. No need to sully the reputation of one of the world's best food groups.

He said no spark

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2021:

Once this guy escapes, he ought to get as far away from this young woman as he can.

Information security

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2021:

And this is in spite of the fact that Aladdin is a "special character".

A fair question

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2021:

They see whatever they want to see, same as always.

Vaccine Hesitancy?

zeuser comments on Mar 16, 2021:

Sweet! If only, right?

Reposting blog by Heather Cox Richardson March 15, 2021 (Monday) Tonight, the Senate confirmed ...

zeuser comments on Mar 16, 2021:

A sad history of exploitation, but a glimmer of hope in the new Secretary. She is up against some formidable and well-funded opposition. Something I suspect she is accustomed to.

To the republican congress

zeuser comments on Mar 16, 2021:

They determine who gets to pick first, and avoid the worst of the smegma, by rank. And lordy do we have some rank ones.

It seems that not only do they not understand criminal law, they have no idea what property rights ...

zeuser comments on Mar 16, 2021:

Oh, they understand, but they shamelessly claim that they don't when confronted. You can divorce someone who behaves like this in life. I am not sure how to do this with a political party, if that's even what you can call it.

Trying to describe the GOP.

zeuser comments on Mar 16, 2021:

Yup.

If Jesus Christ came back and said "WHO THE FUCK ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE CLAIMING TO REPRESENT ME AND ...

zeuser comments on Mar 16, 2021:

It's tricky, JC.You gonna have to prove material damage or harm. I worry about how many good lawyers you have up there.

Gee, How could That Happen? [rawstory.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 16, 2021:

I'd love to see this frat boy rapey drunk in the hot seat at his own impeachment hearings. He reeks of elitist privilege, sexism, and an alarming ignorance of and hubris about appropriate behavior. Plus, he's a shitty judge.

Wasted time lol

zeuser comments on Mar 16, 2021:

It's not wasted. Think of it as cross-training and look for the sport where you can use it to your advantage. ;)

Who would think that if you degrade over 50 % of the population and dis the military and deny the ...

zeuser comments on Mar 15, 2021:

To be fair, he swallows too.

New take on a old joke

zeuser comments on Mar 14, 2021:

I've never seen it, but when I've been in Wyoming, the locals swear this happens a lot. Not necessarily preceded by a bartender with a set up line.

Mental Illness on display for all to see.

zeuser comments on Mar 14, 2021:

You can get dreams like this during a high fever.

Grift is Rampnat in His family?: [alternet.org]

zeuser comments on Mar 14, 2021:

Hey hey, calm down. Everyone needs a good side hustle. Geez, I wonder if the pre-nup had that as a requirement "Section 15, part G, Party 1 must be willing to commit fraud and willingly grift a charity, turning the funds over to Party 2." Wouldn't surprise me a bit.

Turn about, I guess...

zeuser comments on Mar 14, 2021:

The best part of getting a package is unwrapping it.

Teacher Arrested At Pearson Airport A high school teacher was arrested today at Toronto's Pearson ...

zeuser comments on Mar 13, 2021:

Not to state the obvious, but with this pandemic, we need to recognize the likely vectors when we can determine them.

LMAO love it

zeuser comments on Mar 13, 2021:

It pays to advertise.

The stable genius

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2021:

Yup, that's our boy all right. LOL

Watching Biden address the nation, I'm still in awe that we have a president who explains things ...

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2021:

About time, am I right?

Its what her browser said she searches

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2021:

If you communicate well, she gonna pull you aside and say "All right, here's what I want you to do..."

Doctor, can you please take a closer look?

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2021:

Awww.

Returning Jesus Christ Downed By U.S. Missile Defense 30,000 Feet Before Making Landfall

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2021:

Good. I hope they followed the mob rule for this. If someone is worth shooting, he (or she) is worth shooting twice.

I think she lied

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2021:

Better safe than "Holy shit, what's that!?!"

Just to put the doubters right! :-D

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2021:

I heard they gave little Archie a pony named "Piebald".

What happened dear?

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2021:

Premature Maytagulation.

Angels and demons? :-D

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2021:

Healthiest right boob in town.

If you need me I’ll be scratching at the door...

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2021:

It's a question of perspective. LOL

Hmm alan

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2021:

Cute. Say, does anyone have his mom's number by any chance?

Patience is a virtue! :-D

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2021:

Be careful, don't want to rear-end them. Now, wait, let me think this through. LOL

Freudian slip? [huffpost.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2021:

The "base" will do it too. Probably gonna each send him their stimulus checks and bitch and moan that the democrats stole their jobs.

One of the most obnoxious aspects of Republican behavior is their claimed outrage over a supposedly ...

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2021:

When you're, you're right. And you are correct in every statement.

The real crabs just rotted in shame.

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2021:

Life intimidates art. 🤣

The heat must be getting closer to the real American traitor...DJT! [nytimes.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2021:

It's only a matter of time. This whole truckfull of sewerage will start spilling out pretty soon.

Is It Done Yet? [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2021:

Now there's a guy who likes to get into fights he is bound to lose. Judges don't really react to bullies and strongarm tactics very well.

This asswipe has got to go! Centrist?

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2021:

He is an incompetent intellectual lightweight who understands he has leverage, but lacks the wit or the insight to use it intelligently. I guess he's better than some other WV republican yahoo, but that difference is getting harder and harder to detect.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell Tells Election ‘Criminals’ They Can Lessen Prison Time If They Turn ...

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2021:

This is where we need a "rolling my eyes" reaction.

The Obedient Patient A pretty woman goes to a doctor.

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2021:

Well, that went to shit in a hurry. LOL

And so it begins:

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2021:

That is waaaay too many. These kids will learn, possibly the hard way. LOL

It's easier wearing a kilt, I guess?[agnostic.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2021:

That's hilarious! Gotta love the Scottish sense of humor. They really know how to cuss, too.

Maybe, but those opposable thumbs sure come in handy

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2021:

Ha Ha, they don't know we are really apes and not monkeys at all. Dumb dogs. :)