Sorry for your ordeal.

Religion is evil, it poisons everything it touches.

Yea it's hard.
We were abused by our abusive Christian parents because they loved us. (Right?)
They talk about honoring your parents to live a long time. Implying we might die if we don't honor them.
Spare the rod, spoil the child... and people wonder why people like me hate all things religious.

Most of us would get along so much better in life if we would come to grips with the fact that we are not special as an individual. Yes, you are different than the other snowflakes but you are still a snowflake and there is no god to care one way or the other. Just be special to your family and your life should be a happy one. Religion does not seem to know this, or want you to know it either.

Vomit.....My mom still gives me the religious BS and says my disbelief is even going to send her to hell like that would convince me to "change my ways" Her abuse was enough.

Most children try so hard to be good. It's always very sad when the parents don't realize that or take advantage of it. I think you have been getting therapy and seem to have a relationship with your mother now. Forgivness seems to give freedom to to the person who does the forgiving. I hope your family patterns have changed.

Welcome to both sanity and humanity.

The best advice I can give to someone who is young and coming out of that type of nightmare is to never isolate yourself, there are especially nowadays, many different people who have been through similar things and can help when you run into some barrier that seems insurmountable.
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Probably the best mind-tool I used when getting out of all of that dung, was telling myself that if I become like them, they have won.
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I also take it further . . . . I have been through far more hell than the average person, so I deserve better . . .
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Also there is a point were you have to decide just how much you are willing to deal with family, who often can be absolutely toxic. At a certain point in time, I just dropped them like a hot rock, because it was not going to get any better, they could not listen. I'm not saying everyone should do that, that it just my experience.
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Sometimes those who have seen the deepest depths develop the strength in the process . . . to climb the highest mountains.

I too was verbally abused by my mother. I learned not to trust anyone. During recovery I learned my mother was mentally ill. People often stared at me during my life time. I thought it was because i was ugly as my family caused me to believe. Learning the truth, helped me see that I could also learn to trust, and today I have many loving people in my life.

People that stupid shouldn't be allowed to have children...

I know where you are coming from, I had a very nasty abusive, on ALL counts btw, 'mother' ( if anyone in their right mind could her that), I still bear the scars, physical and emotional, from her, BUT I also had a truly wonderful Dad.
I swore that I'd NEVER grow up to be anything like that utter Bitch but would strive to be like my Dad instead and hopefully I have thus far succeeded in doing so.
I was literally FORCED to attend Sunday Schools, I use the plural here because I was actually EXPELLED from EVERY Sunday School, Primary and Secondary School Scripture Classes as well, because I DARED to ask questions or try to put across my thoughts, etc.
No-one, absolutely NO-ONE deserves to have abusive parents, siblings, partners, etc, etc, but unfortunately some Abusers are so truly well disguised as wolves in sheep's clothing that they easily slip through our natural defense barriers.
Stand tall, walk proud, be yourself for YOU are a survivor and resolve to yourself NEVER to allow yourself to repeat the errors, etc, of the past.

People don't realize how completely selfish they sound when they are trying to sound humble. To think that a god has blessed you/protected you while simultaneously allowing others, especially children, to suffer is the height of hubris.

Happy you made it to the other side.

My mom's approach to child rearing was divide and conquer. I was about 28 when I realized certain truths about her and moved on. My twin not so much. Parents should be licensed, that's sort of a joke. The degrees of dysfunction make a difference and thank goodness religion was not the reason for her issues.
Societal norms play a big part, at least 50, 60 years ago.

Sorry for that , I never did that with my kids

It's a self centered concept to feed the mother's ego and bolster her self esteem - probably injured because she unconsciously followed her mother's abusive style of parenting.

One of the sentences I remember from a sermon preached in church were those: "It is better to tie a stone around your neck and throw yourself in the river, than to harm a child." I don't think some church going parents ever take that to heart. I know my mother didn't.

You've heard of the "Reward and Punishment" system. My parents used the "Punishment and Punishment" system. No reward or positive recognition EVER.

Hugs

My mother was a firm believer in spare the rod, spoil the child. She made me go to church twice a week. She stayed home, never saw her in a church after her mother died.

sorry to hear you were abused. Hope you're doing good these days.

Just remember the diamond, if it had not been under constant pressure when it was coal, it would never had become a diamond. So now you can sparkle, let go of the past and be in the moment. Enjoy your Day.