Agnostic.com
  1. Agnostic
  2. Posts
  3. Love & Relationships

32 8

In the world of online dating and the need to get to know someone ASAP to weed out time wasters or non starters;....What two or three questions would you ask someone to get the most information about who a person truly is?

#relationships #Personality #dating
Hazydays 7 Apr 26
Share
Submit

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

32 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

11

Level 6

What is your name? What is your quest? What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

You need to add, what is your favorite color and do you pine for the fiords.
11

Level 5

I would ask questions designed to illicit responses to these questions:

Are you funny?
Are you kinky?
Are you kind?
Are you honest?

4 most important things to me, and ill take the time to ask as many questions as I need to to find out the (hopefully real) answers to those questions.

I like your list ??

My favorite so far,

Love your list. Maybe the last question should be the first question? lol

Great profile name!
7

Level 5

What do you enjoy reading?

Beyond housing, food and utilities, what would you say you spend the most money on?

Name 3 notable people you’d love to chat with over coffee or cocktails: 1 living, 1 deceased, and 1 fictional.

7

Level 9
  1. What is important to you right now? How do you feel about politics, social programs and diversity of population? Do you believe people are equal regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, LGBTQ status or disability?
6

Level 2
  1. What do you think of the job the president is doing?
  2. Your teenage daughter comes home one afternoon and tells you she is pregnant. What do you advise her to do?
  3. How do you feel about individuals using a public restroom who happen to have different genitalia than the gender they seem to be.

Thank you for your reply. Those would certainly make for an interesting conversation ?

Great questions. Starting with question number one. Trump has destroyed the credibility of the presidency. Now any jackass can become president and do whatever they want to when they get there. He has set the standard for shitty presidents.
Question number two. I plan on having my daughter on birth control at age 13 so it should be in an irrelevant question for me. But things happen and once it has happened there is no going back. I would love her and my grandchild and hope the guy that impregnated her is decent, if not I’m going to be his worst nightmare.
And as far as your third question goes people need to change with the times. I personally have never seen anybody’s junk while using a public restroom. If someone is dressed like a woman and goes into a woman’s bathroom they’re not going to be waving their junk around trying to make a scene. And women don’t walk around the public bathroom showing their private parts. So the theory that the person only wants to go into the women’s restroom to check out naked women is ridiculous.
6

Level 5
  1. What are you looking for?
  2. Do you drink?
  3. Do you wanna get a drink?

Lol
5

Level 2

All of the comments below are true. I have had several scammers. Hello dear is the most common one and Immediately they want your email address as they don't come on this particular site too often and they want to know what are you looking for in a man. Sometimes their conversation and vocabulary is disjointed. I call them out on this and they don't like it. The most recent one I had told me he worked on a rig and I said that must be an interesting job please tell me about it. And I told him I worked for the Police department and within half an hour he closed his FB acc and the conversation from his end all but erased

Good for you! I have been surprised that the scammers don't realize how formulaic their profiles are. I couldn't believe it when within a week I got the same message from a 'new' contact with everything the same except a different picture.
5

Level 2

Do your teeth go to bed with you at night?
How familiar are you with your mother's basement?
Do you know the proper use of the word your?

5

Level 9

I find scammers have a lot of very generic questions, and tend to answer a question with another question. So rather than specific words, I gently insist on germane answers to any questions I might ask. I also find they try to assert "dominance", for example, you say you have traveled, they come back with a much longer list of where they went. They also try to get you feeling romantic & committed to "our relationship" very quickly...ummm, you've never even met & they are babbling about "our life together".
And, upon the first Mention of money, in Any context whatsoever, Block them!

I agree with you, there are a lot of scammers out there and a lot of our ‘red flags’ come from how people respond to certain questions, like your traveling example. This is what led me to ask what specific questions people should be asking. Thank you for your comment.
5

Level 8

I just let it unfold. If you ask set questions you may not get the real answer .. not in person. People on the spot can mess up through nerves. Take your time instead of hurrying with questions. Boxes make boxes. Keep it multi choice.

Absolutely agree, things just will either flow or not. You can’t force it. I’m asking about online dating specifically and asking a couple of key questions to get some foundational answers from before you decide to meet someone in person or not. There are some obvious questions. I am intrested in what people ask to get to their gut feelings about someone. Thank’s for your response.

@Hazydays Okay thanks !! I suppose

  1. What do you think of people / the human race?

I wouldn't ask it directly though I would lead em in lol - you would get more truth - I'm interested in people who love other humans not hate them. It's a reflection of them.

  1. Do you believe in love ?

again I would lead in .. but it kinda sorts out people who are uncomfy with themselves ..

Personally I would be looking for the answer .. only unconditionally .. or something around that area or questions at least.

  1. Have you ever cheated on someone ?

again I don't care if they have or not but kinda find out a lot about someone.

They are quite difficult deep questions lol so I would try not to ask them directly !

Like !! Would you help me with voluntary Youthansia ? lolol that could be tough! 🙂

Great question !!

@Nickbeee thanks. Those are perfect questions to ask. Totally agree.

5

Level 8

What are your ambitions? Goals?
What is your ideal way to spend time?
If you could list one attribute as your most important in a partner, what would it be and why?
What would you say is your biggest weakness? Strength?

Thats four, not three ! ?

@Jones_HF Sorry, did not go to the same school you did. Our maths teacher was an idiot. ??
5

Level 8

1.What are you looking for in a relationship or are you even looking for a relationship
2.Tell me something interesting about yourself (not a question but it does require an answer)
Also you do need to remember that not all people are honest and so take the time to have online chats and see if it stays consistent. Good luck. It certainly isn't easy.
Oh and P.S. be sure of what it is that you want

Thanks for your response. I’m personally not actively online dating but I have friends who are and I was just curious what others who are dating and trying to decipher the good ones from the bad ones should be asking.

4

Level 8

"Tell me about yourself." Anyone who just gives me a generic answer - what they do for a living, where they live, etc. - tells me they don't put too much thought into this. I want to hear from someone who can tell me something unique about themselves, or share something in a unique way. Beyond that though, it's just something I would have to feel out, sometimes it takes a few emails.

Totally agree with your answer. Thank you for your comment

I think a lot of people are not ready to instantly tell their deepest values and thoughts to a stranger who may block them in 20 seconds. There is a good-morning gambit, and it is there for a reason. It is not necessarily true that someone who respects this gambit cannot have a deeper conversation, nor that he necessarily doesn't want one. Also, it may be that a person's profession becomes an important part of who they are, just as for others it is not. Furthermore, it is in general very hard to write who one is in a few words without seriously raping the truth. Finally, it is common for men not considered hot to have to go through thousands of profiles just to get a meeting with a woman (at least on other dating sites!), so a big investment in one person is usually unwise till she shows interest. All this to give some reasons SOME men may not give you a thoughtful reply.

@MultiDimensional thank you for your response. You are correct and I don’t think anybody really enjoys baring their soul to someone they just met, but if you’re both on a dating site then there’s no mystery to what you are both seeking.

@MultiDimensional You make a good point. Bottom line for me is, there has to be something that compels me to write back and want to know more about this person. Otherwise, why bother.
4

Level 4

I ask these things: Do you like Trump, do you believe in God, what are you looking for in a relationship. Needless to say, I am single and have been for years.

Polly Level 4 Apr 26, 2018
Reply

If those questions are ruining your chances, shame on the world!
4

Level 5

Yes it is good to meet people in person. Yet there shouldn’t be a need for rushing.
1- what are you looking for.
2- tell me a bit bout your story.
3- what’s your do’s and don’t’s.

Thank you for your comment. Those are good questions to ask before meeting.

Do's and don'ts !!! Yes!

3

Level 6

People with so much traffic they have to "weed out" slay me.

Personally speaking, I don’t have ANY traffic since I haven’t joined any dating sites yet. I was asking for a friend who isn’t on here but isn’t having much luck in choosing the ‘right’ types.

You would if you did, it's just the way it goes.
3

Level 4

Start with asking them to tell you something about themselves, their likes and dislikes to establish some commonality. If they seem unwilling to share information about themselves, don't post a photo, or after several exchanges of information, don't want to talk in person, they are probably just playing around. I have a key phrase that I look for with scammers...they always seem to refer to you as "dear"...when I hear this word I become suspicious. Also they ask for a phone number and e mail almost instantly....never give this out until you are sure of who the person is.

That "dear" thing..........well mentioned!
3

Level 8

what are your thoughts on dating and relationships?
what are your deal makers and breakers?
what are your views on politics and religion?

3

Level 8

Political- conservative or liberal?
Atheist or not?
Trophy hunter?
Leaves me with about.05 of the population. ?

same, and then there is this fun angle that an atheist dating/forum site can't escape and that is the incel/MGTOW er, further narrowing the pool.

@Qualia I'm lost. Incel/MGTOW?
2

Level 8
  1. Trump?
  2. Animals?
  3. Drugs?
2

Level 5

Are you married ?
What do you want from this..
And then you generally block .. !!!!
Cynical ...moi ? !!!!

I hear you, lol ?

2

Level 8

Political position
Religious status

Don't have a third since most of what I care about is covered by those two

Pretend you met someone who just answered your first 2 in the just the right way... what now? What would be the next most important quality for you to discover?

@Hazydays Unsure how I would phrase it but I wouldn't mind knowing how he feels about his ex if he had children with her. Or how close he is to his parents.

I actually do not want someone that has nothing good to say about his ex. Similarly, someone that is attentive to his elderly parents is a good person in my book.

Guess I should think of a way to ask those questions without sounding like a potentially jealous harpy

@SherryMartin love this response. Yes, these are very important qualities to seek out. How they speak about others speaks volumes for me.
2

Level 5

If I were a woman looking long-term?

  1. Income?
  2. Children?
  3. Income?

And if you were / are a man?

True, it's hard to date when you're brokey pants. Just went out on a brokey pants "date" with a friend. It sucked even as a "friend" date- i paid for too much without a thank you anywhere in the mix!. Going out tends to cost something, even with friends. That's LIFE.

I don't wanna see guys crying that dating's expensive., Pace yourselves or figure it out. Don't hit the most expensive restaurant for crissakes.

1

Level 9

Never feeling a need to speed things up. IMO with online, take time, all you need....it is so easy to find out where you live, how much $$ you have, etc etc online, you need to have antenna up and running and listen to your gut....you cannot do that if you have fallen in lust over coffee.

1

Level 6

It would definitely be more than three questions. To stick to the theme of your question I'll stick to three. I'd work it into conversations rather than ask outright.

  1. Do you enjoy working out or doing cardio with a partner and how commited you are to maintaining? (Do you lift, Sis?)
  2. What's your most controversial opinion and what would it take to change you mind about it? (Does better information change your mind)
  3. Is ____ funny to you? (Are our senses of humor compatible?)

Also high on the list.

Sexual compatibility
Politics
Littering
Good storytelling skills
Are you a robot?
Write Comment

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

Share this post

Copy Link

Related Groups More

World Music
1359 members

Categories

You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:66931
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.