I'm so sorry. If I could, I would just hug you for a long while.

Man that is so hard. And of course you are correct.
Many bad things happen,
there is nothing good that comes from it.
I can be an angry person, I can relate to your fathers comments.
Even though you will always have this loss I hope you find some good and happiness in your life.

I have a little experience of it .. not so close as a family member but it also had a devastating effect on a lot of people.. There is nothing is there matey. Just hollowness or rage. It takes a long time .. i don't think we ever "Get over" these things we just learn to cope with them the best we can.. much love. That touched me.

So very sorry for your pain, but unfortunately my sadness in hearing your story doesn't help you directly. I can't imagine what I would do if that had been part of my life. Please continue to reach out and tell your story. Just know that others want to share compassion with you. I hope you have a strong network of supporters close to you

Words cannot describe your pain and anquish you are feeling for your loved one.
The memories and the closure is the hard part.
Being part of the family being there for your nieces and being your brother- there is no justification for being robbed of his life. Going thru what you and you sis have gone thru in the hospital I can only ask for your forgiveness and share your fond memories and happiness with your girls
I am with you brother on this one

Very sorry for your loss! All the cliches are meaningless. But your brother would not want you to be in such pain and anguish about his death. Try and focus on the positive good memories you have of your brother. Tell us about those things that made him unique. Share what was special about him and your relationship. Or discuss those things with others that knew him. It might help.

Man after 30 years seems to me the only thing we can help with at this point is to encourage you to keep talking about it so hopefully you may make peace with it somehow and the only thing we can offer is to listen. Don't know what else to say. For one thing I believe you are doing the right thing by keeping his memory alive. Wish you the best.

With you man.

I woke up today calling my son’s name. I went to sleep last night whimpering his name. My eyes are both crusty and gooey, I’m glad I can’t remember all of my dreams but I wish I could. I hate what the world has become. Your words tell me that I’ll hate it in the future, too, but I knew that, right?

Wow that hits home for me.
I lost my father almost thirty years ago and I have had a lot of the same thoughts. He never got a chance to meet his grandchildren and even his great-grand children.

Early death is always a loss, a tragedy. To say that one "is in a better place" is, in effect, saying that life is not worth living.

Sometimes it's just impossible to "move on" from pain inflicted due to the cruelty of another human being. The question "Why?" never gets answered. I am so sorry you must live with the torture this causes.

My history is similar in that I lost a sibling to a tragedy and it haunted me for over 30 years until one day a wise friend asked me why I paid more homage to his death than his life. What? He died 3 days before his first Christmas in my care (I was 12). I asked what she meant and she told me that by focusing on that one horrible moment in time I was overlooking all the wonderful memories we shared and missing out on making new ones. She asked me to reflect on what his life meant to me instead of what his death did to me and to find ways to celebrate him. I am still (43 years now) finding ways to live out his legacy and heal from the pain (love) but that advice helped. I hope sharing it helps you too. Hugs!

I can feel your heartache as I read and I am crying with you. Tell me about your brother, I would like to hear about your relationship with him and the kind of young man he was. I can feel your need to bring him to life and the best way to do that is to go down memory lane. PM me if you like. I promise I will listen and care.

That's so sad. I'm sorry you went through that.

I am so sorry for your loss. People mean well when they say things like, "He's in a better place." They don't know what to say; they don't want you to feel that they don't care; they may be clumsy, but usually their heart is in the right place.
My husband committed suicide. I heard a lot of awkward, yet well-meant, comments.

I am so sorry for this tragedy you suffered. The Buddhists say "life is suffering". Your story is proof.
Please know that crying can reset the brain & relieve some of the anguish so shed those tears.
Death is only painful to the living. May you heal soon & make a gesture in his memory towards a better world.

I am sorry you are in such pain. I understand as I still have difficulty with the loss of my parents. I have heard so many times that they are in a better place that I have come to ignore it. It feels at times as if I am in a loop of grief that will never end, and I generally keep these feelings to myself because of all of the criticism. I hope you are able to find peace, and some way to cope that makes the pain a little easier in which to handle.

Thinking of you and your pain and loss. His death is your tragedy no one elses.

That's terrible. Time doesn't really help, does it? I'm so sorry for you and all the people left behind to remember.

You have indeed survived an horrific event and I am so sorry for the pain you and your family have endured. It's obvious you loved and cared for your brother. I wish I could do something to help. I'm sure your brother would not have wanted you to suffer so and I also know how hard it is not to suffer some of the time. Above all, be kind to yourself.

I lost a friend to murder 4 years ago so I understand a small part of what you are going through. Stay strong and surround yourself with people who care about you. You deserve peace and happiness.

there is no category for this,and no adequate words, i can only try to imagine your pain

Damn. Got nothing for ya except to keep on.
I've lost more than a few along the way and it sucks.

I'm sorry to hear that this happened to your brother and your family.

I guess the best advice I can offer would be to move forward. I'm sure your brother wouldn't want you to give the scumbags who did this so much power that it literally effects the rest of your life.

And I hope that your dad managed to take out a hell of a lot more than just some of them.