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Newsmax Host Claims Trump ‘Accidentally’ Butt-Dialed Jan 6th Witness

At the close of the Jan. 6th hearings for Tuesday, Rep. Liz Cheney unleashed “yet another bombshell” when she revealed that former President Donald Trump tried to phone a witness who hadn’t yet appeared to testify, which has serious witness tampering implications. In response, Newsmax host Greg Kelly claims that Trump wasn’t actually trying to contact the witness, and probably accidentally butt-dialed the witness’ number.

Now, I have no idea whether Newsmax host Kelly’s butt-dialing claim is true or not, but I will be the first to admit that Trump certainly has a butt made for “butt-dialing.” Why, word has it that just by sitting down, he’s been known to make at least a dozen phone calls. Besides, we all know the former president is famous for talking out of his ass. In fact, IT guys say his ass is actually large enough to have its own area code. Wonder if “666” is already taken?

Meanwhile, rumors have been circulating that the voice over the phone was heard saying “this is Donald Trump's butt calling. Please standby for the asshole.” Of course, we need to get serious here. It couldn’t have really been Donald Trump’s butt doing the calling, because simple logic tells you that if it actually had been Trump’s butt calling - every damn phone on the entire East Coast would have rung simultaneously.

*If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at😘 [johnnyrobish.medium.com]

johnnyrobish 8 July 14
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4 comments

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5

It has come out, that the person he called was a career whitehouse staffer, one of those people that trump always acted like didn't exist except to serve him.

glennlab Level 10 July 14, 2022
2

That was wonderfully funny!

Krish55 Level 8 July 14, 2022

Thanks so much! I write satire 3-4 times a week.

2

Well, he does think with his butt…

Krish55 Level 8 July 14, 2022
3

"But me no Butts" Mr. President 😅😅😅

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