I truly believe that it's about the quality, rather than quantity. Having conversations with others that you can connect with is invaluable. The problem for me is not making the connection, but maintaining it. Either my expectations are too high, and I'm too picky; they're just too shallow, or a combination of both. My approach is usually not to look for friends, but look to be a friend, and this calls for flexibility.
#introvert
I had recently commented on another post here regarding how shallow it is to ask a new acquaintance what they do for a living, as if that is some telling aspect of their value. I noted that I tend to ask people what they're passionate about, and how difficult the question is for some to answer. Though I find it's very easy to answer for those I'm going to be inclined to connect with and subsequently be able to maintain that connection. I don't really care what you're passionate about, though, it need not be a commonality between us, just that there is something you enjoy so much you consider it to be a passion. Maybe it's even more productive for me when it's not a commonality, as I love to learn about new things and someone whose passionate about something I'm not so familiar with leaves a lot of room for learning.
I don't mind if someone asks about what I do for a living. I just see it as a conversation starter. Most people do have something to say about their employment. Sadly, so much of our time is spent there, that maybe it is all they have.
I’ve had similar thoughts about the “what you do for a living” question, but I guess it also depends on the person being asked. Some are passionate about what they do for a living, and others may interpret or label it in a completely different context. I also agree that learning about someone else’s passion need not be a commonality, and is opportunity for learning.
@itsmedammit I think it's easy to tell when the question about occupation comes from true curiosity rather than trying to decide where one fits on the value scale. I'll engage one with no negativity, the other will likely cause me to look for someone more interesting to engage.
@StarvingArtist Yes, it is sad if one has no passion. It is also a likely sign that they are dealing with depression.
@Amzungu I agree it is usually easy to tell if someone is just being shallow, regardless of the topic.
WOW .Seems like most folks don't stick around long enough to become actual friends . Aquaintances , seldom become friends for me . But the few friends I do make , seem to last for decades .
I tend to categorize as such: acquaintances, buddies, friends, etc based on experiences with them. Some friends are situational (sports, dancing, etc), fair weather (only around during good times, or to “receive” help), and very few are considered a best friend (someone there through thick and thin); understands reciprocation, and is proven trustworthy) of course not all of them fit neatly into one category..lol
Posted by KilltheskyfairyIntrovert thoughts…
Posted by KilltheskyfairyIntrovert thoughts…
Posted by KilltheskyfairyIntrovert thoughts…
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