Separated for almost two years now. Am one of the most introverted (but socially functional once I get started) people you might ever meet - which has made it a long road for me to decide I am ready to date again.
Problem is - I've got absolutely no idea how it is to get back into the "dating game" again. I'm not a 'joiner', no religious affiliation to fall back on for meeting new people, and most of my close friends who might otherwise introduce me to new people live hundreds of miles away. I've long since decided that a workplace romance isn't something I can do either - office demographics don't make it plausible even if I were interested.
I've tried out some of the dating sites and apps, nothing working there either. Apparently a nerdy, 53-year old, separated guy isn't viewed as a hot commodity?
Thoughts to help jumpstart a fellow introvert?
3
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5 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Maybe it's time for us to form an introverts' dating site? (I am only half-joking about that, by the way.) Membership requirements could include any of the following:
-- A current library card
-- References from two or more food delivery personnel who provide you with service on a regular basis;
-- Reference from a barista who tries unsuccessfully to engage you in conversation.
But then, who would do the outreach needed to get enough people to join such a site? It's a conundrum.
citronella
Level 7
Sep 4, 2018
1
If those are the criteria,... I might not qualify for membership. I almost never order out (love to cook), haven't been inside a library in years (although Barnes & Noble about 2 days ago) let alone having a card, and have at least cursory conversations with the (cute) waitresses at my local brew-pub when I go on Sundays - they all know my name BTW - but probably only from reading my credit card,.... I am a solid tipper though!
We seem to be in very similar situations. I too would like to get back into the dating scene but am not sure how. I've heard coffee shops and bookstores can be a place to meet people. I wish you the best of luck.
Captain747ex
Level 7
Sep 3, 2018
2
Search on Meetup for groups that interest you. I know there are ones that cater to quieter interests. I'm finding them a good way to meet people in my area. Also, see if there's anyone on this site who's in your area or a nearby state who piques your interest.
bleurowz
Level 8
Sep 3, 2018
3
When I been on dating sites, I've avoided anyone who was separated. I only look at single, divorced, widowed. Separated to me indicates that you are not done with your relationship yet.
itsmedammit
Level 8
Sep 3, 2018
3
Yeah - we've gotten almost everything worked out between us anyway. Only one thing we aren't able to do ourselves - we need a lawyer to help us figure out how to redo and re-balance our retirement accounts evenly.
Time to get off the pot this Fall.
@KurtZeller a lawyer to rebalance your retirement? Expensive. See if you can convince your ex to meet with you at a retirement / financial planner's office first.
If you're both reasonable, a neutral 3rd party/expert could work.
Lawyers are method of last resort, and could very easily make things worse.
@camne Interesting thought - I'll look into it. Thanks!
look around in the gym.
TheDoubter
Level 9
Sep 3, 2018
2
That would require me to go to the gym. 
But indeed, I had been considering that idea. Even if I wasn't able to meet anybody new, at least I can get into better shape, and that's something.
@KurtZeller if you don't connect, at least you see some nice ass
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